“What do you want, sweetheart?” Mum asked. We’d been going over university and work and baby arrangements for the last half an hour, and I was starting to get a headache. There were so many things to consider.
I shrugged. “I don’t know. I used to want a career, but now I’m pregnant I couldn’t imagine leaving the baby all day. Don’t get me wrong, I want to do something, and I’ll need to, but maybe part-time. Until she’s school age anyway.”
Mum frowned. “What part-time career do you want?”
“I don’t know.”
“You need to think about that. I know you want to be a good mum but being a good mum means providing too. You also need to think about what you want. Just because you’re having a baby, doesn’t mean you have to give up your dreams.”
“Yeah, I guess. I want to be a Pharmacist, but maybe when the baby starts school I should be looking at pharmacy in a doctor’s surgery rather than a hospital: The hours are more family friendly.”
“And until then?”
“I’ll see if I can stay at The Centre part-time.”
“Okay.” She looked away.
“What?”
“Nothing, love.” She hugged her mug of tea with her hands. “Look I’m not saying being a receptionist is beneath you – it’s not. A job is a job, and you’ll be providing, which is the main thing.”
“So what are you saying?”
“It’s just hard to watch your child who has worked towards her dream career have to put it on hold. That’s all.”
“I know it’s going to be hard, and I still have a year left to study, but I can defer for a year.”
“You don’t want to work full-time until the baby is in school, but you think you’ll have time for a full-time course when the baby is just a year old?”
I bit my lip, feeling the weight of the world on my shoulders.
“Oh, I’m sorry, love”, she said, clearly seeing me sag. “I’m not trying to bring you down. I’m just concerned. Holly, we will do everything in our power to get you that degree, but it’s not going to be easy.”
“I get that. Uni is full on but at least I don’t have classes all day five days a week. I’m sure between me and Jasper we can work something out. You know how keen he is to be a dad.”
She smiled. “Yes, he is. And I think you mean between your father and I, yourself and Jasper, and Jasper’s parents we can work something out.”
“Thanks, Mum.”
“What has Jasper said about it?”
“That I should go back in October and take a few weeks off after the birth.”
“Well that does make sense. Uni is almost starting again, and you still have just over seven months left. The year will be almost over by the time the baby comes; you’ll only have a few months left.”
“Yeah, I see his point, but I don’t want to be stressed out with studying when I’m pregnant. And definitely not taking my final exams when I’ve got a newborn...”
“Honey, it’s going to be a lot more stressful trying to do a whole year with a baby crawling around and demanding your full attention.”
I wanted to bang my head on the table. It would be easier to do it all now.
“I’d need to take three weeks off after the birth at least.” Two weeks was the legal requirement, but I knew I’d want and need longer.
“Of course. But you could catch up the things you’ve missed, and we’ll all help.”
I narrowed my eyes.
“You’ve been talking to Jasper.” He’d said the same thing to me just a few days ago.
She held her hands up.
“Yes. Don’t be angry though, we’re only trying to help. It’s a well known fact that not everyone that takes a year out goes back.”
“I would go back. But you’re right; it’d be crazy of me not to struggle past the final few months and finish my course with a new baby rather than deferring and having to do a whole year with a young child.”
Just then we were interrupted, and my head was spinning so much it was a relief.
“Look who I found wandering around outside,” Dad said, walking into the kitchen with Jasper trailing behind.
“I wasn’t wandering around, I was walking to the door,” he said. “Wandering makes me sound like a stalker.”
Dad turned to him. “You got my daughter pregnant, you’re whatever I say you are.”
“Fair enough,” Jasper replied and sidestepped him. Deep down, Dad liked him but he was stubborn so it would be a while before he admitted it again.
He sat beside me, and his aftershave filled my lungs. I tried to act cool as if he had no effect on me at all, but I couldn’t help leaning just that little bit closer to him.
“How’s my baby doing?” he asked, placing his hand on my stomach.
“She’s fine.”
He looked up at me with the biggest grin I’d ever seen.
“Good. I wonder when we’ll feel her kicking around in there.”
I shrugged. “A while yet.”
“I can’t wait.”
“Me neither. Although, apparently the kicks to the ribs really hurt. Oh but something you’ll be happy to hear, I decided to go back to uni next month.”
“That’s great, Holly.” Jasper beamed, and so did my parents. “What about living arrangements?”
I looked at Mum and Dad.