15
“Jared!” I greet him at the door before he gathers me in his arms and kisses me on the lips.
That definitely surprises me. Sure, we’ve kissed and fooled around, but it never goes further than that.
After leaving Drake’s home, feeling dejected and with my insecurity at the highest level, I decide to dress up a little. I wear a nude, tight-fitting corset dress that my lithe body and legs look amazing in paired with my sand colored Prada platform pumps to finish the look. I look pretty decent, if I do say so myself. I straightened my usually wavy hair. I forgot how changing hairstyles actually does wonders to a woman’s look alone. I keep my make-up light, but don’t hold back with my scarlet lipstick.
No more Drake, I can’t think about him tonight with Jared. Jared deserves my undivided attention. It also helps that Drake hasn’t tried to call me or text. It hurts that he can’t bother to send me even a quick text; yet, I’m relieved that he doesn’t. F*cking confusing. I want to scream my frustration.
Jared steps back. His eyes heatedly admire my look as he whistles. “You look like a supermodel. I know you’re gorgeous and all, but you never used to dress up this way for me.”
I blush and murmur my thanks. A big part of me is pleased that there is a guy out there that appreciates my efforts.
Yeah, I was pretty laid back before. I guess Jared can thank Drake for making me feel like shit. After I found that picture of him and Shannon, I couldn’t get it out of my head. Jared is a good-looking guy. Six-feet tall with a well-honed body, wavy blonde hair, light brown eyes and armed with a charming, amiable personality.
“Where are we going?” I ask before I get my things and start heading out the door.
Jared looks at me, grinning. “Well, since you’re asking, it’s actually my parents’ thirty-fifth wedding anniversary. They’re having this bash at their house. I’m taking you there as my date.”
I can feel my body grow taut. “You want me to meet your parents?” I ask in a whisper.
“Don’t freak out, okay? I just thought since you’re deciding if you want to seriously date me, and be exclusive… I want to show you where I come from. Of course, I want Mom and Dad to meet you. It’s only a party. It’s nothing to be scared of. Well, I hope they don’t scare you away.” He looks thoughtful for a moment.
“I’m not scared, Jared. You just caught me by surprise, that’s all.” It’s more like I’m feeling along the lines of a slut because I spent all night having sex with Drake and here comes Jared, sweet and perfect, wanting to introduce me to his parents.
Jared kisses the top of my nose. “You’ll be fine. You’re great. You’re perfect. Well, I think you’re perfect, anyway.”
Shit. Just shit, f*ck, shit, shit, shit.
The ride to his parents’ home in Calabasas is pretty engaging. Jared is studying to be a doctor in cardiology and he’s passionate about it. He’ll be doing his residency program at UCLA medicine soon. Jared is actually friends with Nick. I had declined Jared’s invitation for a whole year before I finally decided to give him a shot. Now, exactly when I realize I’m ready to move forward, Drake happens to show back up in my life.
It’s f*cked up.
Jared glances at me before he reaches out to give my bare thigh a tight squeeze. His hand stays there, unmoving, just there. “Masie mentioned that you two are planning on opening a business?”
“Since, she and I have this obsession with cupcakes and we loved making them in college, we thought… well, why not go for it? It hasn’t been finalized yet, though. We need to look for a location first, and then go from there.”
His hand hasn’t moved, but his fingers are stroking my skin, back and forth. “Your cupcakes are delicious. I can’t get enough of them.” His voice lowers, full of innuendo.
Um, is he still talking about cupcakes here? The way he mentions them… it sounded downright sexual.
When my phone rings, I decide to get it. It’s Mom. “Hey! What’s up, Mom?”
“How are you, Dear? I’m actually calling to tell you that Patricia is having a luncheon this Sunday. I was hoping you would come.” Mom sounds nervous.
Weird, why would she be nervous? “Sure. Is that all because I’m getting the vibe that there’s more?”
Mom clears her throat. “There is… but I’m not sure if telling you over the phone is the best way to tell you.”
There is no way in Hell I am letting my mother off the phone without telling me. “It is, actually. My mind is going through the scenarios right now and I would greatly appreciate it if you would relieve me of that kind of tension.”
“Fine, if you insist. I’m seeing someone. I started dating again.” Huh? Since when did she start dating?
For the last nine years, Mom never even mentioned another guy. So, I had assumed that she wasn’t dating. When did that change?
“Who are you dating?” I am in shock.
“Colin Sandberg”
Oh, Hell. He’s a close friend of Hugh’s and had been very close with my dad when he was alive, too.
“Lily? Will you say something?” Mom is waiting for my reaction. What the heck do I say?
“Um, that was unexpected. I didn’t realize you were attracted to Colin. He’s Dad’s friend, Mom. I don’t know. How long have you been seeing him?”
“A week ago. It just started. He said he finally manned up and asked me out. He’s been meaning to for the last few years, but always hesitated.” That sounds like Colin.
Colin Sandberg is a decent man, gentle and soft-spoken with the sharpest brain around. His wife died five years ago, I think. He doesn’t have any children because his wife didn’t want any, but they were happy that way. It was a lifestyle choice that suited them both. I suppose two lonely grieving people are entitled to find solace in each other.
“I’m happy for you, Mom. I really am. Colin better not hurt you or he’ll have me to answer to.” My mother chuckles at that. She knows I can be a spitfire about it, too; if it ever comes down to that.
I honestly hope that it won’t. Mom deserves to be happy. I hadn’t realized how lonely she must be since Dad died.
“That’s why I called, too. Colin will be joining us this Sunday. That’s why it’s important that you come.”
That warms my heart. Mom. Introducing her boyfriend for the first time. Ha! “Of course, count me in. Lunch, right?”
“Yes, I will see you then. Have a goodnight, Hon.”
“You, too, Mom,” I say before we part with our goodbyes.
I glance sideways and find Jared looking amused. “Glad my mom’s love life entertains you, Mr. Pearson.”
“It is a bit entertaining, but I think your love life intrigues me more.” He gives my thigh another stroke.
I weave myself nicely on a nice shit pile, don’t I?
“I’m sure it does,” I murmur. Not wanting to open that can of worms. Drake, our past and the ever shifting present, are not what I want to talk or even think about tonight.
My phone beeps to indicate a text message.
Drake.
My heart rate suddenly speeds up, I feel suffocated.
What time will you be here tonight? I forgot to ask. Miss you, Lil.
Do I still want to do this weekend thing with Drake? I do and don’t, but after I saw that picture of him and Shannon together, I don’t think I can do it. Hell, but the thought of having a crazy sex-fest with Drake all weekend long makes me break out with goose bumps.
I decide to text Drake back, right then and there. It’s best I get it over with before I meet Jared’s parents because that is a major deal for me.
Hey… I don’t think that will be possible, Drake. Let’s just try to move past what happened the last few days? If it’s possible… I would really appreciate it. I’ll see you at work Monday. Thanks.
There. I sent it. The message sounds rational and mature. When it beeps again, I shove it back in my purse. There’s no point in trying to ruin my night. Drake can wait.
Mr. and Mrs. Pearson welcome me with such warmth and enthusiasm that it makes me feel guilty as hell.
Why? Drake, of course.
Abby and Warren Pearson are the epitome of soul-mates, if such a thing does exist, these two would be on the top roster. Jared has his father’s structure and facial features, but he has his mother’s eyes and smile.
The party for their wedding anniversary probably has about three hundred guests. It’s chaotic, crazy and lively with happy chatters. It is, after all, a celebration of love. Thirty-five years of it.
Their sprawling lush garden has been transformed into a beautiful setting of white, more white, and a hint of dark purple. Each time we pass a person, Jared greets them genuinely and everyone seems pleased to meet me.
I’m seated with Jared and the rest of his relatives, which there are many of them; I have a hard time remembering their names.
“So, this is the woman that finally captured my brother’s heart?” a guy says from behind me. When he comes into view, he smiles with an outstretched hand. “I’m Jared’s brother, Jason.”
“Lily Alexander.” I take his outstretched hand and shake it.
Jason looks like Jared, except he has green eyes. If I didn’t know any better, I could mistake them for twins. Jason is younger by two years, though. So, when he decides to join us at our table, I prepare myself for the mini interrogation that I’m sure is coming.
Instead, I get a whole lot of laughs. Jared and Jason together are definitely crazy fun. They joke like they are best friends. There is no sibling rivalry to speak of. Eventually everyone becomes quiet when Warren stands up with a microphone.
“Ladies and gentlemen, I just want to thank all of you for coming here to celebrate this tremendously special day with us. Thirty-five years of happiness with my Abby. Yes, people. Staying married can be done.” People laugh at that, as do I. Jared reaches out for my hand and kisses it before returning his attention back to his father. I don’t hear much of the rest of Warren’s speech because my mind is busy intruding on my concentration.
Jared is serious about me. Taking me here, on his parent’s thirty-fifth anniversary, is a monster-sized sign of that and I’m starting to like his family, too.
“…please give a toast to my beautiful wife, Abby. Ever since our first kiss on Redondo Beach, under the stars that summer, I have never looked back. I love you.”
Both sons are smiling and clapping at their parents as the guests watch them kiss.
Then the real party begins. Jason hired a live band and a DJ. With good music, great company and a never-ending supply of alcohol, everyone is having a blast, including me.
When the band starts to play The Way You Look Tonight in a slow jazzy beat, Jared gets up. “Dance with me?”
Smiling, I accept. “Sure”
Jared leads us to the dance floor, wraps his arms around me and pulls me close to his chest. The music draws me in as Jared takes over my senses. With his hot breath against my ear, our breathing accelerates as we dance to the slow beat. For a while, it makes me forget the kind of emotional turmoil that I’m in.
“Thank you for coming. My family adores you,” Jared says after we’ve danced silently for a few moments.
“They’re lovely. Thank you for inviting me and sharing this significant day.”
His hand grips me tighter. “God, you smell great. Lil…” Jared’s breathing shifts. “I want you.”
I bite my lip as I contemplate what to say to him. “I know. Give me a few weeks, then I will be… ready for you. To be with you, I mean.”
Shit, did I just say that? Two weeks to get over Drake? Was that even enough time?
“Is there another man? Is that why you’re so hesitant?” Jared halts when the music stops.
Reaching for my hand, he guides me towards the other end of the garden, where there are no people around. The tall trees and rose bushes make it difficult to see, but Jared knows where he’s going. He stops when we get to a fountain. The smell of roses are overpowering and toying with my senses. I have to concede that roses are definitely the smell of seduction.
I’m not panicking that I’m alone with Jared in the dark, but I’m a little hesitant to tell him about Drake because if he starts shooting out questions, I may not have an answer for him. I can barely admit to most of the answers to myself… Never mind saying them out loud.
“Lily, I’m still waiting for you to answer my question.” Jared is a couple of feet away from me. His hands are in his pockets, his face serious as he waits for me to speak.
Oh, f*ck it. Jared deserves more than this. “A guy from my past recently came back into my life.”
“An ex? Does he want you back? Where do I stand?” Jared looks devastated and I feel bad, actually, I feel like shit.
“No, not an ex, but he was my first. Things aren’t really like that with us. I like you, Jared, very much.” Jared pulls me up to my feet so we are facing each other.
“Alright, I understand where you are coming from, but the most important question is, do you want him back?”
Drake… I love him, but Shannon, their almost baby and the f*cking past are always going to be there. When it comes down to it, I don’t trust Drake not to break me again because he will. He already did once before, quite callously, too.
“No, I don’t want him back,” I state with conviction.
“Good. That’s all I need to hear. Two weeks and you’ll be mine?”
“Yes.”
“Mine in two weeks, I can’t wait until I can claim you as mine,” Jared whispers before he takes my lips and kisses me.
The kiss is good, hungry even, but compared to Drake’s… this kiss lacks something. Or maybe it’s me who lacks something. Yeah, that would be my heart.
It’s possible to lose your heart along the way. It dawns on me that life does go on after love. That one can go on with just a partial part of your heart─or none at all─depending on how much love you granted that person. In my case, I’m trying to scrape back what little I have left because Drake took most of it away, leaving me with the crumbs.
With that, though, I am determined to build something out of it. Maybe I’ll grow another heart, another love.