CHAPTER 27
Matthew Watkins took the “Which random number are you?” quiz and the result was: 3. Which is lame, because 3 is, like, the least random number there is.
Finn Is God So much for Earth Day. I totally screwed things up and started celebrating the wrong planet. Now I have to collect all these stupid trademarked dog figurines that I distributed all over the yard. At least it’s better than last year’s mistake when I had butt statues everywhere.
Julie Seagle I like the gritty intensity of Jaws 4. There is a simple honesty to the storytelling that is utterly compelling. Plus, the shark roars.
Julie rolled over and opened her eyes, squinting against the sunlight that blasted her in the face.
Holy…
She was in Matt’s bed. Alone, thank God. At least there was no tragic wake-up-in-each-other’s-arms moment. She yanked the sheet up over her head and ran over what had happened last night.
This didn’t have to be a big deal. They had both been emotional, and so things had taken an unexpected turn. Nothing major. People hook up all the time, right? And not that she and Matt had even really hooked up. A tiny little kiss between friends.
Shit.
“Julie?”
She pulled the sheet down and peeked out. Matt was leaning into his room and quite obviously avoiding making eye contact.
“Celeste is cooking breakfast.” He cleared his throat. “You went for a run, and you just got back. That’s why you weren’t in your room when she went to wake you up.”
“When exactly did I take up running? I never knew this about myself.”
“Next time you can come up with something better.” He paused. “Not that there’s going to be a next time. I just meant… Maybe you should…you know…”
“Got it. Getting up now. I was never here.” Julie rubbed her hands over her face. “Tell Celeste that I’m in the shower, and I’ll be right down.”
“OK.”
“Wait a minute.” She sat up. “Celeste is making breakfast? She’s feeling all right?”
“Apparently.”
Matt disappeared, and she scrambled to her room. Julie made a face at her unruly reflection in the mirror, grabbed some clothes, and hit the shower. Hopefully Celeste had made a giant pot of coffee too, because four hours of sleep was not going to cut it.
By the time she took a seat next to Flat Finn and Matt at the kitchen table, the smell of a full breakfast had filled the house. She eyed the bowl of cut-up strawberries, the tray of scrambled eggs, bacon, and sausage, and the butter, syrup, and carafe of coffee suspiciously. The table had been set with the good dishes and cloth napkins. Why was Celeste in such a good mood?
“Good morning,” Celeste chirped as she ladled pancake batter onto a skillet.
“Good morning,” Julie answered hesitantly. “This is very nice of you to cook all this.”
“I wanted to. Let me finish with the pancakes, and then we can discuss things.”
“Looking forward to it,” she lied.
Julie kept her head down and pretended to be captivated by garage sales listings in the newspaper.
“Go ahead and start eating. The pancakes will be ready in a second.”
Julie and Matt both reached for the eggs at the same time, causing a flurry of apologies and “go aheads.”
Ta da! This is why you don’t kiss platonic friends whom you live with. Or sleep in their beds. Or let them run their hands all over your arms and shoulders and make you tingle inappropriately…
Julie stuffed her mouth with food so that she wouldn’t have to talk and continued not reading the paper. There was a way to make sense of what had happened last night: After months of being all fired up about Finn, she had transferred her pent-up physical frustrations to Matt. And Matt had probably been in the mood because of his date with Dana the night before. Of course it was sort of disgusting and tacky that she’d kissed the same guy her friend had been making out with the night before. What was wrong with her? And what the hell had Matt been thinking? Perhaps Matt was just a big old slut who ran around Boston kissing every girl he met, and he’d been waiting for the right time to add Julie to his list. At least that way, the kiss would be as meaningless to him as it was to her.
She glanced up for a second and caught him looking at her.
This is all understandable, she reasoned. They did have a certain comfort level with each other, so it was not completely freakish that they had blurred the lines for a moment after an emotionally trying evening.
And Julie had probably done the typical girl thing, which is to try to make things better by giving a guy what he wants: physical contact. That’s what guys understand, right? It wasn’t as if they’d gotten naked or anything, but she was probably responsible for the kiss. She’d been desperate for him to forgive her, and in her weak, drained state, she’d tried to patch things up with something sexual. Well, not sexual, meaning that they had almost had sex. Not even close. And not that either of them had been thinking about it. Ridiculous. She was certainly not attracted to him that way, and Matt was probably more turned on by megabytes and firewalls and bit torrents than he was by her.
Of course, he had been the one trailing his fingers across…
Whatever.
Matt had to be just as regretful as she was.
Besides, he’d said that everything he had yelled at her wasn’t true; therefore, that meant she was, in fact, like family. Making him a brother figure, the way she’d always thought. Except that you don’t kiss your brother on the mouth. Especially with tongue. And you don’t press your body into his and get all momentarily hot and dreamy. At least you’re not supposed to.
Again, shit.
But it wasn’t like he’d tried to do anything else. His hands hadn’t moved anywhere good. Well, not good. She didn’t mean that. Improper. Indecent. Lewd. Vulgar. Naughty. Christ, now was not the time to turn into a thesaurus. The point was that it wasn’t as though he’d been grinding against her and whispering dirty things into her ear. Although now that she thought about it, maybe she should be offended that he hadn’t. Not that she would have let him.
Wait a minute. She had moved her leg over his, and he had stopped kissing her first.
Oh. Matt thought she was a terrible kisser. Bastard. She was so not going to look over at him now.
Julie slugged down half a cup of coffee. Finn. That’s really what this had been about, she was sure. Finn and his steamy messages had her in a perpetually needy state. Plus, it had been a while since she and Seth had broken up, and she was just some horny college student using whatever guy she’d crawled into bed with.
No, that wasn’t right either. Julie wasn’t like that. She was just talking in circles.
Celeste set a plate piled with pancakes on the table and sat down. “Wow. You are both quite hungry today, I see. You didn’t leave me any eggs, and there is only one piece of sausage left.”
Apparently the mutual method of stuffing face to avoid talking that she and Matt had been employing had gone too far.
“Sorry,” Matt said with a full mouth.
“It’s OK. I can make more. I wanted to talk to you both.”
“Sure. That’s a good idea,” Julie said.
“We need to discuss what happened between you two last night.”
Matt started to choke on his food, and Julie knew her face blanched. It seemed that Celeste hadn’t bought Matt’s dumb story about Julie going running.
Ugh. Julie didn’t want anybody to know about this, least of all Celeste. And Finn, of course. Matt wouldn’t tell Finn, would he? Was she supposed to tell Finn? Dear Finn, I accidentally sucked face with your brother. Apologies! How are the Venezuelan orphans? She touched her hand to the stone that rested on her chest. The necklace was a near-constant reminder of him. Apparently she hadn’t paid any attention to that last night.
Flat Finn seemed to chastise her from his position at the table. Julie stabbed her eggs and glared at the arrogant cutout. Shut up.
Celeste casually drizzled syrup over her plate. “I’m extremely upset with you two.”
“It’s really not a big deal,” Matt mumbled.
“Totally not,” Julie agreed and busied herself selecting strawberries from the bowl.
“It is indeed a big deal. Everything has changed between you two, and I don’t like it one bit. I heard everything, and I’m extremely displeased.”
Julie and Matt both stayed silent. What exactly had Celeste heard? Had there been slurpy kissing sounds? Inadvertent moans of ecstasy? Oh my God, Julie had not been that out of it, had she? It was one silly, insignificant kiss. There had been no lusty heaving. Definitely not.
Matt rubbed his eyes. “Celeste, what are you talking about?”
“What are you talking about?” She looked at them curiously. Annoyingly hopeful, even. “Did something else happen?”
“Nothing. Um…nothing,” Julie muttered. “Go ahead.”
“I heard that entire terrible argument you two had.”
“The argument. Yes, that,” Matt said.
In the wake of the sleep-in-Matt’s-bed incident, she had almost forgotten.
“I’m furious with both of you. But mostly with you, Matt.” Celeste jabbed her fork in his direction. “I have never known you to be so malicious. Julie has been nothing but a saint, so don’t you ever scream at her like that again. And Julie, you were frankly not all that nice either. Matt is doing the best that he can with me, and I have not made things easy for him. I love you both, but there will be no more disputes regarding Flat Finn and me. While I am infinitely grateful for all that you have done for me, I’m going to take a more active role in managing myself. It’s time. Understand? There will be no more talking behind my back. I may be in junior high school. You two aren’t. Act like it.” Celeste looked back and forth between them and raised her eyebrows. “Are you still mad at each other? Do you need to kiss and make up?”
Julie shook her head violently. “No. I don’t think that’s necessary. Matt and I are fine.” She looked across the table, finally looking Matt in the eyes. “Right, Matt?”
“Yes. We are.” He looked truthful enough.
“Don’t ever fight like that again. Ever,” Celeste instructed. “The unexpected good news is that I had a remarkably good time at Rachel’s. Well, until the end, of course.”
“You…You did?” Matt asked.
“Yes. I really did.” She helped herself to more pancakes. “Rachel is a very nice girl. She and I actually have some things in common. It’s true that she is not the most popular girl at school, and I guess I like that about her. She’s in almost all of my classes and scored better on our last history exam than I did. I think I did a nice job of blending in last night. I was even asked to recap one of the first episodes of Pretty Little Liars, which I did to perfection, I might add. Anyway, the night was quite enjoyable until it was time to sleep. The dark does funny things to me, and my head gets besieged with unsettled thoughts. Rachel’s mother found me in the bathroom crying, and she was nice enough to offer to tell the other girls that I’d come down with a stomach bug and that’s why I left. Anyhow, I have a few things to tell you.”
“Go ahead,” a stunned Matt said.
“First of all, I would like to start walking to and from school by myself. So Julie, that means that you won’t need to drive me. I’m ready. Flat Finn won’t need to come with me. I still need him, just not all the time.”
“Oh. Sure.” Julie did her best to look supportive despite being unnerved somehow.
“The second piece of news is not necessarily information one would typically present at the breakfast table, but now is as good a time as any to say that I got my period yesterday morning.”
Matt groaned loudly and covered his ears. “Celeste! Really? You need to tell me about this…development?”
Celeste shot him an annoyed look. “Matthew, it’s not a big deal. I simply thought I should let everyone know. And, no, I do not need any information on what it means to be a woman. It’s a biological change that has occurred, and I thought it important to inform you.”
“Do you, er, think that’s why you were so, you know…?” Matt fumbled for words pathetically.
“No,” Celeste said. “Nobody gets her period for the first time and has a nervous breakdown next to a Kohler toilet. Men have such stupid ideas about menstruation, don’t they, Julie? But it is an indicator that I am maturing, and it brought up other issues for me. Thus the dramatic crying and Flat Finn freak-out. Also, speaking of growing up, I really need a bra. Even though I am not exactly billowing out of my clothes, there is finally something happening there. The silly sports bras Mom bought for me are ugly. Unless you feel like taking me shopping, Matt, I would like to go to the mall with another girl.”
“Um…Absolutely. Yes. I mean, if that’s what you think should…er, happen. If there is a rush on this…purchase necessity.” Poor Matt was really struggling with what to say. “Julie could, I assume, assist in the buying of…”
“We can go to the mall. Sure.” Julie tried to shake herself out of her state of shock following Celeste’s slew of revelations. She looked cautiously at Matt. “You don’t mind my taking her?” Considering that last night she had promised to stay out of things, she was hesitant to help Celeste in any new endeavors.
He averted his gaze, but shook his head. “Of course not. You should.”
“Or maybe your mother would prefer to take you when she gets home?” Julie offered.
“I suppose I could ask her. I’ll try, although she’s not terribly interested in me. And,” Celeste continued, “I would like to have Rachel come to the house some day. She wears unattractive wire glasses, and her hair is a frightful mess. I might be able to help her. Plus, she knows nothing about the Phanerozoic eon, and I know quite a bit because Finn was a dinosaur nut when he was younger.”
It was hard to know what to say following this unexpected outpouring. So much had changed in the past twelve hours with Celeste. And between her and Matt. Everything felt different.
“Maybe this summer we could all go to the beach together? Plum Island is lovely as long as it’s not horsefly season. And I’d like to paint my room. Yellow. Or fern green. That would be a nice summer project. Julie, I could use your assistance in choosing the right color.”
Before she could answer, Matt jumped in. “I’m sure Julie will be busy this summer, Celeste. She’ll probably have her own place by then, right?”
Julie startled. Getting her own place would make sense. It just hadn’t occurred to her. Of course she’d have to move out. Roger and Erin had generously put her up for the year, but what was she going to do? Stay here until she graduated? That was ridiculous, and they were too polite to ask her directly to move out. Besides, she was taking up Finn’s room, and he would be home soon enough. “Yes, I assume so.”
Celeste frowned. “Will we still see each other?”
“Absolutely. We can make a weekly girls’ date.”
“It won’t be the same, will it?”
“No. It won’t. But it will still be special.”
“There’s probably a bunch of apartments opening up for July first. Or June, even,” Matt said.
“Great. Thanks,” Julie said weakly.
An unpleasant feeling in her chest grew as she started to absorb the idea of not living at the Watkins house. This had become her home.
Except it felt less like home if Matt didn’t want her here.
Stupid kissing. Stupid roaming hands. Stupid boys.
“I’ll start looking for an apartment today. I could probably be out of here just after classes end. I’ll try for June first.”
“Julie, I didn’t mean—”
“Obviously I’m moving out, Matt,” she said sneering. “Obviously.”
Matt looked everywhere but at the two girls while Julie urgently checked on those garage sale details again in the paper.
Celeste maintained a rather bemused look on her face. “This is an unusual morning we’re all having, isn’t it?”
Julie stood up and took her plate to the sink. “Were you thinking more Lady Grace or more Victoria’s Secret?”
Matt nearly fainted.