An Uncertain Choice

Even though I surely resembled Pup after one of his baths, I wasn’t self-conscious. I wasn’t sure whether it was because Sir Derrick still held my hand or because he was smiling down at me. Whatever the case, I didn’t want to break the contact with him.

As our breathing finally steadied, I could hear the rain pattering against the stone gatehouse with a lyrical rhythm. He dropped the basket to the ground and lifted his hand to my cheek. His fingers hovered for only a moment before he gently peeled a blond strand from my skin. My pulse sped to the same beat as the rain.

His smile faded, replaced by an intensity I couldn’t understand but that filled me with greater urgency to know this man standing before me, to discover his deepest longings and fears, his past struggles, his present enjoyments, and his hopes for the future. I had the desire to reach out to him and comb a wet strand from his face, just as he’d done to mine.

But the sudden calling of my name from the outer bailey startled me. I stepped away from Sir Derrick, breaking the contact and forcing him to release my hand.

“Lady Rosemarie,” called my porter as he ran through the downpour toward me, the rain pelting off his bald head and wide shoulders.

Even though I’d broken the physical contact with the knight, I couldn’t break the hold his eyes had on me. His eyes, the color of the solid stone walls, encompassed me, drew me in, and refused to let me go.

Only when James stood next to me, his hulking frame towering over me, did I force myself to glance away.

“Your nursemaid has been sick with worry, my lady,” James said with a bow. “She sent me to fetch you and bring you directly to your chambers.”

“You may tell her I’ll be along shortly.” I wasn’t ready to leave Sir Derrick just yet.

“She said I wasn’t to return without you.” James hunkered away from the castle as though he expected Trudy to come running after him with a broom in hand. “She’s concerned that you may take a chill from being out in the rain.”

Now that he mentioned it, I felt the cold dampness of my gown pressed against my fair skin, and I couldn’t hold back a shudder. I crossed my arms, hugging myself for the warmth I lacked.

Sir Derrick frowned. “I agree with your nursemaid, my lady. You must hurry along and change out of your wet clothing.”

As I allowed James to lead me away, I could feel Sir Derrick’s gaze following me, blazing a trail of heat through my insides, regardless of how cold I was on the outside.





Chapter

12




I peered out the open window of my chamber, trying to get a glimpse of the arrival of another set of guests. But the inner wall of the castle stood in my line of vision, preventing me from viewing the arrivals that had been ongoing since morning.

“I really wish you and Abbot Francis Michael would stop worrying about me so much.” I turned away from the window to Trudy, who had hovered at my side since I’d returned from town wet several days ago. I’d heeded her instructions to remain in bed, secluded from my guests, only because the abbot had insisted on it as well. When he’d discovered I’d gone near the infected area, he became concerned that I might fall ill. All it had taken was the mention of spreading disease among my guests for me to willingly seclude myself. The last thing I wanted was to bring the illness into the castle among the knights, and now the other nobles who were arriving for the festivities.

Trudy clucked her tongue as she finished pressing the last wrinkle from the gown I planned to wear to the dance that evening.

“We’re only worried because we love you so much and don’t want to see you hurt in any way by this whole grand scheme of the duke’s.”

I gave an exasperated sigh, just as I had done numerous times since I’d been confined to my room. Their protectiveness stemmed from love, just as my parents’ had. But still, I longed for them to treat me more like an adult. Like Sir Derrick did. Perhaps that was one of the reasons why I had been unable to stop thinking about him since our walk home from town. He was kind, but he didn’t treat me like I was fragile or breakable. Rather he seemed to push me to be better, to do more, and to rise higher. And I liked it.

Dare I say, I liked him?

“I only want what’s safest and best for you.” Trudy spread the pink gown out over the bed, its sheer layers and softness similar to so many of my gowns.

No one could deny that a life behind cloister walls would be the securest and most peaceful course for my life. “But what if what is safest and what is best for me require walking two divergent paths?”

Trudy shook her head, her flushed cheeks wobbling. “There you go again, speaking in a manner far above me.”