An Uncertain Choice

By the time I made my way out of the last home, a slight drizzle had begun to fall. I fell into an easy step next to Sir Derrick as we retreated toward the town gate that would lead to the castle.

“I thank you, sir, for your kindness in accompanying me today.”

“’Twas my pleasure.” He swung the basket in a carefree manner.

“I suppose it wasn’t the most exciting afternoon you’ve ever had, especially compared to the tournaments and hunting and skirmishes you participate in.”

“Exciting isn’t the right word to describe the occasion,” he said, earnestness hardening his face. “There’s nothing exciting about seeing the suffering of others.”

I nodded in understanding.

“But it was an amazing afternoon,” he continued, observing me with an intensity that made me squirm. “You continue to surprise me. To feed the poor from your kitchen is one thing. But I hadn’t expected that someone like you would trouble herself with visiting among them.”

Even if his words weren’t high praise, I still basked under his half-admission that I’d finally done something he liked. “And why wouldn’t I visit among them, sir?”

“Because you certainly have more important things to do, like wear fancy gowns and enjoy dinner in the garden.” The mockery in his tone was barely concealed.

“Shall I don rags and roll in the dirt?” I retorted. “Will I meet with your approval then?”

He didn’t respond. Except for the slap of our steps, silence crept around us. And I couldn’t help thinking that even though the three knights were in a contest to win my approval, somehow things had gotten turned around so that now I hoped to win his.

I chanced a sideways peek to see if I’d offended him. He glanced at me at the same moment and gave me one of his cocked grins. “Don’t worry, my lady. If you want to roll in the dirt, there’s no need to don rags. You can do it in your current attire.” He glanced then at the dirt that caked the road and was now turning muddy in the mist.

“I’ll do it, but only if you’ll join me.”

His grin quirked higher and his eyes flashed with appreciation for my wit.

I tried to hold back a smile of my own but failed dismally. I was surprised by how much I liked him, and I could no longer pretend indifference.

He stopped suddenly and faced me, his smile fading and a new seriousness taking the place of his mirth. “You’ve shown yourself to be a kind ruler. I can see now why your people love you.”

“I only wish I could do more for them.”

“Yes, there’s a great deal more you can do.”

His blunt honesty took me aback and left me speechless for a moment. I was used to the abbot reminding me of how much I already did and how my people couldn’t possibly expect more.

The rain began to fall harder, and we resumed walking.

“The duke said that I’m a compassionate leader, that no one else could rule them better than I. Are you contradicting him?”

“No, my lady. Not in the least. They’re blessed by God to have so kind a ruler.”

“But you still think there’s more I can do for my people?”

The rain pattered against the dirt road and sent splatters of mud against my gown. The wimple covering my hair was beginning to grow damp.

“The kind acts you perform are very necessary. And they most certainly please God. But . . . you’ve been putting small bandages on a large, festering wound. Perhaps you must now consider how you might eliminate the wound altogether — ?or at the very least diminish it.”

Again, I was unprepared for his honesty, but I couldn’t fault him for it.

When the rain turned into a complete downpour, he lifted his face to the sky and let the drops pelt him. I could only watch him with wonder, trying to grasp the implications of all he’d spoken. Was there more I could be doing to help my people? If so, what?

As if realizing where he was and that I was garnering a soaking too, he reached for my hand and wrapped his fingers around mine in a strong, warm grip. “Come. We must make haste. I must deliver you back to the castle before you’re drenched.”

I didn’t resist as he tugged me along. I had to half-run to keep up with him, but for a reason I couldn’t explain, I was utterly happy. With my fingers against his and the loveliness of our time together warming my heart, I felt happy and free.

By the time we raced across the drawbridge, we were both breathless and laughing. We didn’t stop until we crossed into the gatehouse. Finally out of the deluge, we could only stand gasping for air. Sir Derrick’s brown hair was plastered to his head, and rivulets of rain ran down his face. His clothes were soaked and dripping. My gown was likewise, and strands of my hair stuck to my cheeks and neck.