Worth the Wait

chapter 22


Tasha groaned with a mixture of desire and self-loathing when Jared leaned down to kiss the side of her neck. The satin sheets were strewn across his bed from where he’d thoroughly explored every inch of her body. For the second time in two days, she regretted her actions. The night before he’d tasted her so meticulously she’d practically begged him to f*ck her on the wall of her office. There was no other word to describe what she’d wanted him to do. Instead, he’d left her panting, soaking wet, and horny as a teenager, while he walked out with a cocky look in his eye. She was too embarrassed to go back to the game, so she’d briskly given the maintenance crew instructions for closing up.

It wasn’t hard to figure out why he’d left. Even though he’d been just as turned on as she, he’d wanted to leave her wanting more. More from him and no one else. And dammit, like a junkie she’d run over after work today so he could finish what he started. It was crazy, reckless, stupid, and every other adjective out there used for bad judgment.

She tried to push him off. Instead, he slowly slid out of her and she gasped at the pleasure and loss.

He rubbed his cheek against hers. “I could do this every day.”

Her heart thumped repeatedly. She pulled his head up so she could look into his eyes. “Do you mean that?”

He froze. His mouth opened and closed regret clear in his eyes. He hadn’t meant those words the way she’d taken them.

She tried to smile, but it was more of a grimace. “Of course you do. What man wouldn’t want to have great sex every day?”

He didn’t stop her when she slid away from him and sat on the edge of his bed. She pushed her thick hair out of her face and stared at the wall. If he didn’t want to commit to her now, why would he if her fears were confirmed? Even after he’d left her wanting him, her last thought and prayer the night before was for her period to come in the morning. It hadn’t. Jared’s expression confirmed what she’d already known. He was content to sleep with her every day, but that was all. What would he say if she was pregnant? What would she say? She couldn’t imagine facing her parents, her father’s church members, or even herself in the mirror. Jared was always clear he didn’t want marriage or kids. She had only herself to call a fool if she was pregnant.

Jared’s hand brushed her back and she jumped. “What’s wrong, Tasha?”

As if he didn’t know. She wanted to yell at him for being so callous. For not caring about her the way she cared about him. Instead, she shook her head. “Nothing.” She hopped off the bed. She pulled the sheet with her and wrapped it around body. “I’ve got to go.”

“You don’t have to go.”

She whipped around to face him. “I can’t stay here.”

“Why not? You can’t possibly tell me you feel like driving after what we just did.” He smiled.

“No, you don’t understand. I can’t stay here.”

He frowned and reached for her but she took a step back and held up her hand. “Stop, Jared. Just stop it. Stop acting like you want me here. Stop telling me you like me, and calling and texting me when you want me. I know you think nothing is wrong with doing those things, but it is.”

His thick arms flexed as he crossed them and leaned against the headboard. “Why don’t you tell me why letting you know that I want you is wrong?”

She glared in response to his calm voice. “You’re acting like we’re together, when we’re not.”

“I’m giving you what you want. You asked me to treat you differently from my usual women. That’s what I’m doing.”

“That’s the problem.”

He rolled his eyes. “You’re making no sense.”

“I know.” She paused and took a deep breath. “Look, I’m not cut out to do this. I ignored the consequences.”

His eyes narrowed. “What consequences?”

She looked away. “I have to think about the future and what I want.” Her gaze returned to his. “Right now all I want is you.”

He jumped off the bed so quickly she jumped. He reached for her hands and pulled her close. “You’ve got me. We can do this for as long as you want.”

“Will you marry me?”

He dropped her hands and stepped back. “I’m not talking about marriage, Tasha.”

“Well, I am. I want a husband and kids. I don’t want to be someone’s jump off or baby momma.”

He screwed up his face. “You’re not my jump off, and you’re damn sure not going to be a baby momma. We protect ourselves from that.”

“It’s not one hundred percent,” she whispered.

He shook his head. “It’s been foolproof for me so far. Besides, if we ever had an accident I’d take care of it.” She flinched and he cursed. “Tasha … ”

She held up her hand. “No, I needed to hear that. I’ve never asked you to hide who you are. Just like I can’t hide who I am. I can’t do this anymore. I’m caught up, Jared. I’m falling so damn hard for you and I can’t afford to stay.”

He rubbed the back of his head and looked away. That simple movement broke her heart. He didn’t feel the same. She was even more naïve than she’d thought.

“I’m gonna get my stuff and go,” she said.

“Look, why don’t I call you tomorrow and we’ll talk?”

“There’s nothing to talk about.” She turned and snatched her clothes from the floor. When she had everything, she headed for his bathroom. She dressed slowly. Her eyes trailing to the door as she waited for the knock, for him to tell her he still wanted her to stay. If he said he felt a smidgeon of what she felt for him then she’d keep this up. She would even tell him about her fears. If he cared, he couldn’t possibly hurt her by “taking care of an accident.”

The knock never came. Her feet were like lead as she left the bathroom. He looked at her before getting off the bed and sliding into a pair of basketball shorts. He walked over and kissed her cheek. “I’ll call you tomorrow. We’ll talk.”

Tasha stiffened. He expected her to come running back to his bed. And she’d been the stupid fool who gave him that impression. She’d been running to his bed for weeks. Every time she said she was through she came back. There was no reason for him to believe she was done.

She looked into his eyes. “Don’t bother calling. Tomorrow’s Friday. I have a date.” His eyes turned cold and she walked out.