Worth the Wait

chapter 18


Tasha dropped her purse in her hall and slumped against the front door. She pinched her nose and willed the stuffiness go to away. Usually she was long gone from the Rec Commission before the monthly pet adoption drive, but today she’d had to stick around and complete the budget. She’d been so wrapped up she’d forgotten today was the day the center would be overrun with shelter animals from the two county area. Even though the animals had been outside, she’d had to walk through the various penned dogs and cats, while being stopped by employees who wanted her to “ooh” and “ahh” over the cute puppies and kittens. The itching and sneezing had started in less than five minutes.

She slowly rolled her head toward the mirror in her entryway and shook her head at the reflection. Red rimmed eyes, swollen nose, and flushed skin. She stood closer to the mirror and groaned. The rash was starting. Sneezing, she turned away and dragged her feet across the floor to her bathroom. She frantically searched the medicine cabinet until she found the Benadryl. Cupping water from the sink, she swallowed two of the pills and prayed they worked fast.

Of course, everyone had understood when she’d sneezed and ran off, but the damage was done. She’d be good for nothing for the rest of the night as she waited for the reaction to pass. Hopefully she’d make it to work the next morning.

She dragged herself from the bathroom to her kitchen where she made a pot of green tea. It usually helped when she broke out. She took the pot and a warmer into the living room, poured a cup, wrapped up in a blanket, and turned the TV to ESPN. She was watching Pardon the Interruption when her phone rang.

Jared’s picture popped up on her touch screen and she smiled before answering. “Hello?” She flinched when she heard the scratchy sound of her voice.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, today was pet adoption day at the center and I’m allergic to dogs. I try to get out of there before they arrive, but got caught up in work.”

“Do you need anything?”

She smiled at his concern. “No. I’ve taken Benadryl, now I’m drinking green tea and watching ESPN. I should be fine.”

“So I guess you won’t be coming over tonight.” Disappointment clouded his voice.

“Not tonight.” Her voice mirrored his disappointment. In the two weeks since they’d agreed to whatever it was they were doing, she’d gone to his house every night. Except Wednesdays when he mentored and Sundays. She couldn’t go to church and eat dinner with her family, then go sleep with Jared. She knew she was sinning the rest of the week, but she wouldn’t include the day she pretended to be her father’s perfect virgin daughter.

It was risky to see him so much, but she couldn’t help it. She enjoyed sleeping with him, and since she knew the rules, she chose to take it for what it was. But she’d have to end it soon. She was becoming too attached.

The always flirty Dr. Kevis Flynn had shown up at the Rec Commission a few times for open court games of basketball. She was still wary, because of his connection to Charles, but it wouldn’t hurt to get to know him better.

Jared sighed into the phone. “Well, I guess I’ll talk with you later.”

“So you only called to see if I was coming over?” As soon as she asked, she realized she sounded like an irritated girlfriend.

“You know the rules, Tasha.”

She sneezed. “Forget I even asked, all right? I’ve got to go.” She hung up the phone and reached for a tissue on the coffee table to wipe her nose.

Stupid, stupid, stupid. Why else would he call? They were not together. Over the past two weeks he’d only called or texted to see if she was coming over. She’d insisted they not do anything to cause the other one to get more involved than necessary. So why was she upset that he only wanted to know if she was available for another booty call?

Throwing the tissue on the floor in disgust, Tasha took a gulp of her tea and gasped as it burned her tongue. With a curse, she put the cup back down and lay on the couch. She focused on every word spoken on the television so she wouldn’t think about Jared, or if her unavailability meant he was going to find someone else tonight.

After an hour of television, a slight calming of her sneezing but an increase in itching, Tasha was prepared to take two more Benadryl and will sleep to overtake her. No matter how hard she tried, she still imagined Jared wrapped up in some other woman’s arms. And each time the picture filled her mind she got mad at herself for even caring. She knew who Jared was and he wasn’t monogamous. Especially after she’d insisted she couldn’t possibly care about him.

She got up from the couch with the blanket still wrapped around her and was heading for the kitchen when her doorbell rang. She pulled the blanket tighter as she shuffled to the door and jerked it open.

Her heart thumped double time. Jared stood there with a plastic grocery bag in his hand. Relief swept through her like the winds of a hurricane. He wasn’t sleeping with someone else.

He held up the bag while she continued to stare at him dumfounded. “I know nothing about allergies, but thought since soup worked for a cold it had to be good for allergies.”

Tasha chuckled and shook her head. “Yes, soup is useful for a lot of things.”

He looked over his shoulder then back at her. “So can I come in, or are you going to just take my soup and shut the door?”

She stepped back and he walked in. Her entryway seemed ten times smaller as his large frame filled the space. He didn’t wear cologne, but the now familiar scent of his body wash invaded her senses, reminding her of what it was like to have his body pressed against hers. Swallowing hard she closed the door and took a few calming breaths. When she turned around, he was still standing behind her and examined her face.

“You look awful,” he said.

She hit his shoulder. “That’s a messed up thing to say.”

He laughed. “I’m sorry, Tasha, but you don’t look good. Are you sure you’ll be okay?”

She nodded while checking her reflection in the mirror. There was a definite rash along her skin now. Damn dogs. “I was going to take two more Benadryl. I’ll be fine.”

He cocked his head to the side. “Are you sure that’s smart? You don’t need to overdose on over-the-counter meds.”

It was her turn to laugh. “I’m not going to overdose. I’ve done it before.”

He frowned. “I’m serious, Tasha, don’t take anything else. If you’re still feeling bad tomorrow, I’ll take you to the doctor.”

“You can’t be serious.”

He gave her a hard stare. “Do I look like I’m playing?”

Unnerved by his show of concern, Tasha cleared her throat and scratched her chin. “What are you doing here anyway? Did you come to boss me around?”

Jared took her arm and led her into the living room. “No, you didn’t sound good on the phone so I came to check on you.”

“Oh.”

What else was there to say? She should say he didn’t have to because it was beyond the boundaries of their arrangement. But she welcomed the warming around her heart because he wanted check on her.

He sat her on the couch and touched her forehead. Tasha laughed and pushed his hand away. “It’s an allergic reaction, not a fever.”

He smiled. “Look, it’s my first time playing nursemaid, all right? So just sit down and let me figure this out.”

She shook her head but agreed. “Okay, boss.”

Jared winked at her and went into the kitchen. Tasha curled back up on the couch and flipped the TV to the basketball game. She watched the game while Jared heated the soup in the kitchen. She’d eaten a few crackers with her tea earlier, but that was all. Whenever she had an allergic reaction, she wasn’t very hungry, but as the smell of chicken noodle soup filled her house her stomach grumbled.

A few minutes later, Jared came out of the kitchen carrying two bowls of soup. He handed one to Tasha and sat beside her with the other.

Tasha breathed in the smell of the soup and sighed. “This smells great. Did it come from a can?”

He scowled. “I don’t eat out of a can. It’s a soup that I made and froze. Try it and you’ll stop eating canned soup.”

Tasha took a spoonful and blew it off before tasting. “Oh my, this is good.”

He smiled at her. “I know. Now eat.”

They watched the game while they ate. Miami was playing Boston. They both cheered for Miami, although Tasha wasn’t too upset whenever Boston scored. She’d always had a crush on Kevin Garnett.

She put her bowl down and scratched her arm. Jared watched her with a frown. He’d frowned every time she scratched or sneezed. She must look like a freak, scratching and sneezing every five seconds, but she’d been through this before.

Jared reached over and took her hand. He stretched her arm out and ran his hand over her irritated skin. Tasha sighed as his gentle touch relieved the itch, if only temporarily.

“Do you have something to put on this?” he asked.

“There’s hydrocortisone in my medicine cabinet, but it’s not that bad.”

He jumped up from the sofa. “I’ll get it.” He went into her bathroom and came back a few seconds later with the cream. He took her arm and smoothed the medicine on the rough patches.

When he finished with her arms, he slid closer and put some on her face. It was impossible to ignore the lighting flashes of desire running through her with each rub of his fingers against her face. The muscles in his arms, exposed by the sleeveless t-shirt he wore, flexed with each movement and Tasha watched as the eagle tattoo on his arm stirred with each play of muscle.

Her breathing hitched and she prayed she didn’t sneeze in his face. When he finished he looked in her eyes and cupped her face with his hand. “You don’t look awful.”

“No, I don’t.”

He smiled. “I like you, Tasha.”

There her heart went, doing a silly flip flop. But Jared was not the guy for her. “Jared … ”

“Don’t tell me not to say that. I’ve always liked you, even when we were just starting out at the Rec Commission. You say what you feel, but you’re also compassionate. I respect you for that. I’m not trying to blur the lines of what we’re doing, we both know this will end soon, but don’t ever forget that I like you.”

Tasha nodded. “I like you too, Jared.”

“Good.” He leaned over and kissed her quickly before sitting back. “Feel better?”

“Yes, the itching is getting better.”

He pulled her against his side and they watched the game. Although he pretended to be relaxed, tension radiated off him. He wanted to talk. It was one of the things she’d picked up on in Charleston and in the weeks they’d been together. He often worked harder to appear calm when something bothered him, but his body would be hard with tension. Eventually he’d blurt out whatever bothered him: a new client, his deal with the Farmers Market, or something at the production facility. He hadn’t talked about his mother since the last time she’d brought it up.

Tasha leaned into him and rubbed his chest. She told herself it was to relax him, but really, it gave her an excuse to touch him. She loved feeling his abs and chest almost as much as she loved seeing him without his shirt on.

“I can’t go to my mom’s party,” he said after a few minutes.

Tasha’s hand froze for a second before she continued rubbing him. “Don’t go.”

He sighed. “Malcolm got pissed when I mentioned I might not make it.”

“Why was he mad?”

“He said it’s because he doesn’t want to embarrass or upset my mom on her birthday. I think he just wants me there when she announces she’s getting remarried. Malcolm doesn’t have a problem with Mr. Carter, but he’s not eager to see mom get married.”

“Why not?”

“He’s too much of a good guy to admit he would rather our mom mourn for our dad for the rest of her life. Dad died the day before Malcolm got back to Georgia. He never said goodbye, and that’s always bothered him. That’s why he always tries to visit our mom, or calls and checks on her. Now that she’s getting married, he’s going to have to truly say goodbye to our dad.”

“If you’re there it’s easier for him to wish her well.”

“Yeah. But I can’t go down there and smile and act happy. I hate her for what she did to my dad. To know she’s marrying Mr. Carter makes me sick. I’ll end up saying something and making a bad night worse.”

Tasha looked up at his profile. He stared unseeing at the television, his jaw clenched. “Jared, you need to talk to her and settle this. You can’t go through the rest of your life pretending as if everything is okay.”

He shook his head. “I don’t want to hear her lies.”

She reached over to lay her hand on his hand, which was clenched in a fist on his lap. “You still care about your mom, or you would have told Malcolm a long time ago what she did. You can’t love and hate someone at the same time.”

He scoffed. “Why not? I hate the fact that I still care when I know what she did.”

“Maybe it’s because you know what you saw, and yes it was messed up, but you also know your mother didn’t literally kill your father. You don’t have to be as close to your mom as Malcolm, but you need to clear the air.”

He was quiet as he continued to stare at the television. Tasha laid her head back on his shoulder and watched the game. He finally opened his hand and clasped hers. “Come to the party.”

She sat up slowly. She didn’t face him but could feel his gaze on her. She wanted to go. She wanted to be there for him during something she knew would be difficult. She wanted to hold his hand as he tried to be nonchalant but tension clenched his body. She wanted him to squeeze her hand like he did now when things were tough. She wanted to end the night wrapped in his arms while they talked about what happened. She wanted it so much it scared her.

This was going horribly wrong. She should have known. How many books and movies were made about people who thought they could sleep together and not fall in love, but did in the end. Only this wasn’t a love story. She’d fall in love, and Jared would move on to the next woman.

“I’m going to get something to drink.”

When she tried to get up, he held onto her hand. “Are you going to ignore me?”

She looked in his eyes. “Jared, we both know I don’t need to go. Do you want your family to think we’re together? If Malcolm’s there, then Kenyatta will be and she’ll tell my sister. Then before you know it, my dad is asking me to bring you to the next Sunday dinner. I can’t tell him it’s not proper to bring my lover to dinner.”

He studied her for a second before a small smile twisted his full lips. “It’s this whole friend, lover thing. The lines get blurry.” He pulled her back against him. “Forget I asked.”

“You can call me after the party,” she said.

He kissed the top of her head. “No need to worry about it until I’m sure I’m going.”

“You need to go.”

“Then go with me.” When she stiffened he laughed. “I’m joking, Tasha. Let’s change the subject, okay?”

“Yes, lets.”

“In Charleston, you said a guy had to be special for you to sleep with him. Now that your virginity’s gone, am I special to you?”

She sat up and groaned. “Why do you ask questions like that?”

“The hell if I know.”

“Maybe it’s time to stop this.”

“I think you’re right.”

They sat on the couch and stared at the television, ignoring the game. Just that quick, he was ready to end things. His agreement hurt more than it should have. She didn’t want to stop sleeping with him, but she needed to. What was supposed to be one night had lasted long past its expiration date. It was better to cut things off now, before she became too accustomed to being with him every night.

She opened her mouth to tell him but sneezed instead. Luckily, she was quick enough to sneeze into the crook of her elbow instead of on him. He jumped up and reached for a tissue. She took it and wiped her nose and he smiled.

“I never do the right thing,” he said. “We’ll stop next week.”

She lay back on the couch and he pulled her feet onto his lap. “That sounds good.”

He began to rub her feet and she snuggled into the cushions. Yes, they were blurring the lines of their relationship. Yes, she was beginning to care about him. But right now she was achy and tired and didn’t want to think about how minutes before she’d been lost at the thought of ending their arrangement. Right now, she just wanted to enjoy the fact he was there and was content to rub her feet and watch the game.