Where I Belong

“I mean, it’s not like he was sweet and playful with you or anything.”

“Nope. Not at all.”

“And it’s not like he gave you this beautiful experience to treasure for the rest of your life. That so wasn’t Ben.”

“It so wasn’t.”

“And he’s definitely not the guy that as you so sweetly put it, worked your p-ssy until you hummed between your legs for hours afterwards.” I hear her smile through her words, but I don’t turn away from the TV. I don’t want to crack.

“Definitely not him.” I’m struggling, really struggling not to break. I feel keyed up all of a sudden, like my body is fully charged and ready to go. I’m beginning to fidget and it doesn’t go unnoticed.

“Quick question. What did Ben call you when he f*cked you, since he didn’t know your name?”

“Baby. Angel. Pretty girl,” I blurt out in the most crushing on a boy sort of way. Even my voice raises an octave. F*ck. I turn toward her then. She won and she knows it, and the smile on her face only adds to my irritation. “I hate you.”

“You put up an impressive fight, I’ll give you that.” She chucks a pillow at me, hitting me square in the face. “Just admit that you kind of like the idea of my brother knowing all the intimate details of your body.”

“Never.” I tuck the pillow she hit me with behind my head, taking a giant spoonful of ice cream into my mouth. I need a gag at the rate she’s going with this conversation. I know the more we talk about this; the greater chance of me slipping up and saying something I don’t want to reveal.

“This might seem borderline inappropriate.”

“Oh, God. Please spare me.” I’m shoveling ice cream into my mouth at an impressive rate now. Borderline inappropriate for Tessa means cover your ears and please escort all children out of the state.

She turns her body, tucking her legs underneath her ass. “Is he like really big? Because I’ve heard rumors.” She holds her hands out in front of her, measuring a distance between the two. “Nine inch rumors.”

“Jesus Christ.” I shouldn’t be surprised. I really shouldn’t. This is Tessa Kelly we’re talking about. She is comfortable enough talking about sex with anybody. Confessional priests included. I’m sure the number of Hail Marys she’s been told to recite is in the hundreds. I drop my spoon into my empty container and sigh heavily. “Why would you want to know that about your brother? That’s incredibly weird.”

“So I can high five you. Losing your virginity to someone as massive as he may or may not be is worthy of a damn award.” She places her hand lovingly on my knee, but there is nothing tender about this chat. Her tactics are a ploy, a cover to make this conversation seem innocent. “And since your mouth was wrapped around his nine incher, I’m figuring you’d be able to vouch better than anyone.”

I push her dirty hand away. “For your information, my mouth was not wrapped around him. All of his nine inches stayed in between my legs the entire night.”

“Ah-ha! So I can believe everything I’ve heard.” She holds her hand up to me, and after several long seconds of debating her gesture, I oblige her with a high five. “F*cking right. I’m jealous. Eight’s my biggest number.”

“How unfortunate.” I grab the remote and turn up the volume. “Can we please watch the rest of the movie? I’m done discussing your brother’s anatomy with you.” His damn fine anatomy.

“Alright, alright. But answer me one last question before we finish this.” I look over hesitantly. Lord knows what she could hit me up with next. She smiles. “How are you, anally speaking? Still virginal?”

“Very.”

“Well, that’s probably wise considering what he’s working with.”

The pillow that she used to hit me with is now striking her against the face. “You really should come with a warning label. Please keep away from small children, the elderly, and anyone with a pacemaker.”

She chuckles, pulling her long auburn hair back into a pony. “As should you. Please keep all dicks less than nine inches away from this p-ssy, because the bar has been set.”

I feel my face heat up instantly. Is it weird to agree with her on that assessment? I mean, surely there aren’t many dicks out there that could compare to what Ben was so beautifully graced with. I’ve seen my fair share of pornos, and even those dicks couldn’t hold a candle to his. I slam my head back onto the sofa and stare at the TV. Damn it, Ben. Not only have you ruined my life, but you’ve also ruined all average dick sizes for me. Now I’m going to compare each and every appendage to yours. Thanks a lot, a*shole.

**

I should be sleeping.

But since I’m not sleeping, I should be reading a book, or watching TV, or doing anything besides what I am currently doing.

This is insane. I’ve never been pissed off and horny at the same time before but that’s exactly what I’m feeling right now. It’s an angry lust and I hate it. I want to punch Ben in the throat and I want to f*ck him all over the house. And I know for a fact, and I’m ashamed to admit, that I would thoroughly enjoy doing both.

It’s 3:15 a.m., and while the rest of the Alabama population sleeps, my mind and fingers are very busy as I get myself off for the second time tonight with thoughts of Ben. It doesn’t take me long because he was that good and he gave me a variety of memories to work with. Earlier I thought of him gripping my hips and slamming into me roughly from behind. He grabbed my hair and smacked my ass, and I came when I pictured his tongue licking up my spine and his teeth biting my back. But right now, he’s devouring my p-ssy with that expert mouth of his. That smart ass mouth that I’d like to smack and then f*ck. The one that he suggested I ride when we were out by the pool earlier. My legs are pinned against his head and I’m melting as if he were the sun and I was a popsicle. I come all over my hand, and I can’t push aside the feeling of irritation that pours over me as I let Ben Kelly rule my body for the second time in one hour. And I know without a doubt that he’ll be irritating me again tomorrow night.

**

The smell of bacon hits me like a Mack truck, pulling me out of the Ben dream that I was annoyingly enjoying. I’d usually be able to roll over and go back to sleep, but it’s bacon and I could eat my weight in that stuff so the dreams can wait. I am surprised though that Tessa is up and making breakfast. She liked her sleep even more than I did and was usually the last one awake when I used to spend the night with her. Maybe she’s just being a really good hostess. Either way, I’m all for getting woken up daily by this delicious smell.

I make my way down the hallway, pulling my wild bed head hair back out of my face. “Oh my Godddd, that smells amazing. I’m so hungry right now.” I stop dead in my tracks as the kitchen comes into view. Tessa is not the one cooking breakfast, and I suddenly want to hurl myself back into bed and go for round three with my favorite fingers. I bite back the shiver I feel run through me at the thought of doing just that.

Ben turns his head and hits me with a smile. “Good morning. What kind of eggs do you want?”

“What are you doing here?” I ask, crossing my arms over my chest and scowling in his direction. Damn it. Now I suddenly don’t just have a hankering for bacon. He’s way too inviting this early in the morning. Slight stubble. Check. Hair sticking up a bit. Check. Vagina awake and ready. Double check. He’s looking very f*ckable right now and it irritates me to no end.