“I honestly don’t know.” I didn’t feel like I deserved to be happy. I felt like I cheated on Dawson, but then again, I felt like I cheated on Drew.
Star and I talked for over an hour until her new annoying help got busy and needed help with the lunch crowd. We talked about the shop, and the new girl, who I was sure, was fine. I guess I just felt a little replaced. I wasn’t sure that I was going to come back anyway, although Star told me that I always had a job there. She really did appreciate all that I had done there, and the business that was established and making a good profit, thanks to me.
I walked out with her and said hello to a few of the locals. My friend, John, from the beach was there, and I visited with him for a while before heading out.
I walked across the street and the two blocks to the police department. I hesitated at the door.
What the hell are you doing, Morgan?
I quickly pushed open the glass door, before I turned and ran down the sidewalk like the maniac that I was. Matt the deputy was sitting across from Dawson’s desk with his feet propped. He was laughing and telling Dawson a story about his son. Dawson stood up when he saw me. It freaking broke my heart. He looked at me like I was the only thing in his life that mattered.
“Go write some parking tickets or something, Matt,” Dawson demanded.
Matt said hi. “It’s good to see you, Riley I’ll just go bug Starlight for a while and eat some doughnuts. I’m too nice of a guy to write tickets,” he teased, dismissing himself.
“Hi,” Dawson said with a smile.
“Hey, sheriff, I smiled back.
“You hungry, want me to order some lunch?” he asked, always thinking about me.
“No, I had a pastry at Star’s.”
“Then how about supper?” He asked with that damned grin that melted my heart.
“You can come for supper, but I’ll cook. I am going to the grocery store before I head back. I couldn’t say home. What the hell?
“Normally if you showed up here I would kiss you about five times,” Dawson grinned.
“You can kiss me five times.”
Dawson did just that. He kissed me with four quick pecks. I counted. His fifth contact to my lips wasn’t just a peck. He rested his lips on mine and ran his tongue around the opening of my closed lips. I parted my lips, and he accepted the invitation. Damn, was he ever a good kisser, of course my lady parts had to agree.
We kissed for, I don’t know, two maybe three minutes before he left my lips and trailed my jaw line with his lips. His spellbinding hands found their way to the bare skin beneath my shirt as my head dropped back on its own accord. My breathing became shallow, my heart felt full, and my panties dampened.
“Jesus, Daw.” I finally said pulling away. I was about ready to bend over his desk.
He snorted and kissed me one more time. “I’m sorry. I just can’t get enough of you.”
“I’m going to get out of here before I start taking my clothes off,” I teased, stepping away from him. “I’ll see you when you get off.”
Lauren showed up while I was putting away my groceries. She pulled one of the bananas loose and sat at the table. I sat with her, and we talked about more than I had planned on talking to her about. She too knew that I was in love with two men, maybe I was just fishing for someone to make sense of all of it for me. I needed someone to tell me what to do. Unfortunately, she couldn’t give me the magic answer either.
“Does Dawson know about Drew?” she asked.
“Yes, he knows. We don’t really talk about it though. I think he is afraid of me not choosing him.”
“You can’t keep them both, Ry.”
“I know, and Dawson makes the most sense, and I do love him.”
“But?” Lauren said, knowing that there was a but.
“But, I don’t know, Lauren. Drew and I are just different. It’s so… I don’t even know how to describe what we have.”
“Intense?”
My eyebrows rose. “Yeah, that undeniably fits.”
“Are you staying in Misty Bay?”
“I don’t know that yet either. I want to find my mom and visit her, maybe just get away from everything for a few days.”
Lauren was so easy to talk to, and I knew that what I said to her would go no further than that table. I didn’t tell her everything. She knew that Drew was abusive to me before, she knew that my mother left us, and I told her about how I was raised in poverty, but I didn’t tell her about the money. I still didn’t know how to process that one.
Lauren abruptly had to go when Dawson got there dressed in jeans looking way too fine for someone who hadn’t had sex in almost two weeks. I wasn’t sure about the look the two of them exchanged. Was it pity? Was it relief? I wasn’t sure. I assumed that the two of them had spent a lot of time trying to find me.
Dawson grilled burgers outside, and I made roasted and garlic potatoes and corn on the cob. We sat on the back deck overlooking the immense ocean. We didn’t talk about anything serious. I think he was avoiding it as much as I was, and we both spoke of nothing but trivial day to day events.