“I can’t believe that it’s you. It is you, isn’t it?” she teased.
I couldn’t answer that either. I wasn’t Riley Murphy. I was Morgan Kelley. I only smiled. “How are you?” I asked.
“Better now that we know that you’re okay. Do you have any idea what you’ve put me through?” she asked, cocking her hip and resting a fist on the side.
I laughed. “I’m sorry. How can I make it up to you?”
“Well, after you get settled back in, you could cook for me,” she joked.
“I would love to cook for you,” I admitted. I realized at that moment the simple things in life. I did miss her waking me up at the butt crack of dawn, and her coming over and raiding my refrigerator for leftovers.
Lauren didn’t stay long, knowing that I needed the time with Dawson. I told her I would call her later and gave her my Las Vegas number.
Dawson ran back to town and brought us Mexican while I showered. The refrigerator had been cleaned out, and there wasn’t much to cook there.
I pulled on my Riley jean shorts and a t-shirt. My cellphone rang while I towel dried my hair and I had a feeling that it was Drew. I didn’t think that Lauren would be calling already. It was Drew. I determined, looking down at the name.
“Hello,” I answered.
“Hi, I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”
“Yes. Drew. I’m fine.”
“Are you with him?” he asked. I could hear the hurt in his voice.
“Yes and no. He went to get us something to eat.
He should be back any minute.”
“Oh,” he replied.
“Drew, I don’t know what you expect from me.”
“I don’t know that either, Morgan. I guess I was just hoping that you would see things different.”
“How could I ever forgive you?”
“I don’t know that you could, but I sure would like for you to try,” he softly spoke.
I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose. Why did this have to be so difficult? I should hate him. I should throw him out on the streets. That’s what anyone else would have done. Why couldn’t I?
“I have to go, Drew,” I said hearing the car door from the driveway close.
“Because he is back?”
“Yes, and I have enough on my plate right now. He doesn’t understand why I would talk to you.”
“Did you tell him?” he asked. He didn’t have to say anymore. I knew what he was asking.
“Yes, Drew, but I will tell you about it later. I have to go.”
“I love you, Morgan.”
“Drew,” I said. I couldn’t say it back. How could I.
“You don’t have to say anything. Goodbye Morgan.”
“Bye, Drew.”
Dawson and I ate out on the deck. I loved my deck.
I missed my deck and the views of the endless ocean. I wasn’t as hungry as I had thought, and folded the wrapper over my half eaten burrito.
“Come here,” Dawson requested, moving to the glider.
I went with him, and he wrapped his arms around me. I loved his smell, his protective feel, and the security that only his arms could give.
“We need to talk, Ry,” He said tracing my fingers with his.
I didn’t feel right being called Riley anymore. I know that was what they all knew me by, but it seemed so superficial now, like a lie. It was a lie. That wasn’t who I was.
“What do you want to know, Daw?” I asked. I owed it to him to tell him anything that he wanted to know.
I just didn’t know if I was ready to disclose it.
“I mostly want to know if I am losing you. I don’t care about the rest. You have no idea how hard these last few months have been. All I could picture was you being hurt, and I couldn’t find you.”
“I don’t know where we stand right now,” I told him honestly. I was done with the lies, and I didn’t know. I didn’t know if we could go back to being Dawson and Riley. I wasn’t Riley.
“You’re not seriously thinking about going back to him, are you?”
I know that it shouldn’t have. He had a right, but it pissed me off. “No, but I’m not going to lie and tell you that the feelings aren’t there. They are Dawson, and I don’t expect you to understand. I know that it sounds absurd, but I can’t help it. He’s not the same Drew that I ran away from.”
“Why? What changed?”
“I don’t know, Dawson. He was different. He cared.”
“How can you say that, Ry? Six years. Six years he did horrendous things to you. You do remember that don’t you?”
“I’ll never forget, but people can change.”
“A leopard doesn’t change its spots,” he stated. I snorted. I had told Drew that exact same thing.
I thought about telling him the whole story, about how it came that I would end up married to Drew Kelley and that I had more money than ten people could spend in a life time. I didn’t. I’m not sure why. I guess I just didn’t feel like we were there yet.