‘He can’t dictate my wardrobe!’ Maddie fires across the kitchen, her chubby arms folding across her little chest. I look at my defiant temptress, noting she’s failing to hide that f**king beautiful grin.
Fucking hell! My hands fly to my hair and yank. I’ll have none of the f**king stuff left soon, especially when Ava gets her hands on it. I momentarily forget my turmoil and smile, mentally feeling her tugging at it while I slam into that beautiful body. But I’m soon back to reality with my little lady drilling displeased brown eyes into me.
I watch as Ava reasons with her before grasping her little shoulders and turning her towards me. ‘Maddie is ready to compromise.’ Ava tilts her head with a humour her look.
It doesn’t make me feel any better. I’ve humoured Maddie before, and it resulted in me carting her out of Waitrose over my shoulder while she screamed the place down and kicked me to death. I look back to Ava with pleading eyes, pouting like an idiot, but she just shakes her head and gently urges my wilful little lady towards me.
She’s smiling at me now, her arms reaching up for me to take her. She melts my f**king heart but Jesus Christ, what the hell am I facing in the years to come? I’ll be bald or maybe even dead. Or I could be in prison because if any little f**ker lays his hands on her, I’ll rip their f**king heart out. I scoop her up and leave Ava to help my easy going boy put his converse on.
‘Dad, you need to calm down. You’ll give yourself a heart attack.’ She snuggles into my neck and my raging, crazy love for my defiant little lady is fully restored. But my wife gets her forth retribution f**k of the day.
‘It’s daddy. And you need to stop listening to your mother.’ I take the stairs fast and burst into her room, throwing her on the bed. My heart bursts, listening to her squeal in delight before she jumps straight up and starts bouncing up and down, her long, chocolate locks flying all over the place. ‘Right,’ I rub my hands together in an attempt to make what I’m about to suggest exciting. Where will I find her jeans and jumpers? I pull her pink wardrobe doors open and start skimming through the rails, immediately laying my hands on something full and frilly. I pull it out and hold the hideous thing up. She mirrors my look of disgust. ‘Your nana needs to stop buying you dresses.’
‘I know.’ She sits down and crosses her legs. ‘Will you trample her today, dad?’
‘Daddy,’ I retort, shoving the dress on the top shelf, out of sight. ‘I might do.’
‘It’s funny.’ she giggles.
‘I know.’ I pull out a cute little sailor dress. There are no sleeves, but I’ll find a cardigan. ‘How about this?’
‘No, dad.’
‘Daddy. What about this?’ I present her with a lemon, shin length brocade thing, but she shakes her defiant little head. ‘Maddie,’ I sigh. ‘You are not wearing that.’ God give me f**king strength quick before I wring her stubborn little neck.
‘I’ll wear tights.’ She jumps up and pulls the draw of her pink chest open. ‘These ones.’ she says, holding up some candy striped things.
I tilt my head on an agreeable nod. I can work with that. ‘What about the t-shirt?’
She looks down and strokes her little belly. ‘I like this one.’
‘Then how about we buy it in a bigger size?’ I’m compromising. I pull down a long sleeved, mint green t-shirt covered in love hearts and hold it up, all keen and smiley. ‘I love this one. Make daddy happy.’ I’m f**king pouting like a sad, desperate twat, and I can tell her five year old mind thinks I’m a twat, too.
‘Okay,’ she sighs heavily. This is stupid. She’s the one humouring me.
‘Good girl,’ I pick her up and stand her on the bed. ‘Lift.’ She throws her arms in the air and lets me rid her torso of the half t-shirt before replacing it with the green one that I love so much, then I get her out of the shorts and cover her little legs with the delightful candy striped tights before replacing the little denim things. ‘Perfect.’ I stand back and nod my approval, then collect her silver converse hi-tops from the wardrobe. ‘These?’ I don’t know why I’m asking, she refuses to wear anything else.
‘Yep.’ She falls to her cute little butt and holds her foot up for me to slip them on. ‘Daddy?’
I tense from head to toe at the sound of the name I’m constantly demanding she call me. She wants something. ‘Maddie,’ I reply slowly, cautiously.
‘I’d like a little sister.’
I nearly fall on my arse with laughter. Another girl? Fuck me, you’d have to drug me and string me up to extract my seed. Not a f**king chance, no way in hell, never, no way.
‘What’s so funny?’ She looks at my laughing face, all puzzled.