chapter 24
(Deanna)
I fly home for a few days following Lora Rae’s big news. I need my mom. She loves Mikey like a son. I want to discuss the situation with her and get her advice.
“Sweetie, he’s been in love with you for as long as I can remember, but right now, he needs his space. Give him a chance to figure things out. There is no doubt how he feels about you, but this is no way to begin a relationship. It wouldn’t be fair to either one of you right now,” my mom says as we cuddle on the couch, sipping our morning coffee.
“It’s going to hurt watching her have his baby, but I don’t want to give him up because of it either. He pushed me away. He thinks by letting me go that he is sparing me from being involved in this mess.”
“It’s a trait that he and your brother share. They push the people they love away because they think they are protecting them. You think he would have learned his lesson by watching what Luke went through. Be patient Deanna. Like I said, give him his space. Give him time to work this out. He will do the right thing by you and his baby.”
“Mom, if it is his baby. He’s not even sure.”
“That’s what I’m saying, be patient. Give him a chance to find out exactly what he is dealing with. I have faith that he knows what he’s doing. Go back and focus on your school work and friends.”
“How do I act around him?”
“The same way you always have.”
***
Once back in Tampa, I try taking my mom’s advice and try to act as normal as possible around him, but he’s making it awkward. Every time we’re in the same place at the same time, he tenses up and leaves the room. He’s barely said anything to me since I’ve been back. It’s frustrating and upsetting. The one thing I’m most afraid of is losing the friendship we share.
About a week after I’m back, Lora Rae is spotted leaving a famous celebrity ob-gyn office. The tabloids jump all over the story and rumors of her pregnancy spread along with speculations of who the father is.
JJ tells me Lora Rae called him and asked him to fly out to LA to be with her because she’s worried about tarnishing her reputation. Sure she is. It was already reported that they had broken up. She’s hoping to do some damage control… I’ll bet, I think sarcastically.
***
(Mikey)
Feeling obligated, I decide to go, figuring it will be a good opportunity to keep an eye on her. If she is carrying my baby, I feel I have the right to know if she stopped her partying ways. I want to be sure she is taking care of herself properly.
As soon as we are spotted together, the speculation is pointed at me. As much as Lora Rae protests to me that she is upset that the information leaked out to the media, I can’t seem to shake the feeling that she is enjoying the attention. Her publicist refuses to confirm or deny the rumor.
While here, I don’t dare give her an ounce of false hope thinking there may be a chance for us. I try talking with her about getting a prenatal paternity test, but she refuses. She says there may be a chance it can harm the baby and she doesn’t want to take the chance. I have to respect her wishes. She has every right to refuse if that’s how she feels about it, but once the baby is born, I will force the issue.
I fly back home for the start of spring training, I’m due to report in less than a week. I stop by Lora Rae’s apartment to say good-bye before heading to the airport, telling her I’ll be back as soon as I can and if she needs anything to give me a call.
I rest my head on the backseat of the cab and close my eyes, trying to rid myself of the headache that is forming across my skull. How could I have gotten myself into this mess at this point in my life? I’ll admit I was reckless when I was younger; looking back, this could have happened to me back then. However, ever since I was given this opportunity, I’ve always tried to keep my head on straight. I’m definitely no Saint, but I’m always careful. My thoughts are interrupted by the annoying ring of my phone.
“Hello?” I ask, distracted by the noise that is swirling around my head.
***
(Deanna)
I’m tired of sitting around, feeling sorry for myself. Mikey has been in LA all week and he hasn’t contacted me. All I do is think of him, the least he can do is give me a call and check in, we’ve always done at least that.
I’ve been keeping busy with school and studying. I think I need to get out and have a good time. I also need to break loose from all of the happy couples surrounding me, not that I don’t love them, but in my spare time, I’m either hanging with Luke and JJ at their house, or hanging with Mya and Dan at our apartment. Yes, even my new roommate is in love. What are the chances of that? Mya has finally crossed to the dark side and entered the light. I don’t even have her to sit around and be miserable with. As I sit here wallowing in my self-pity, Mya and Dan have come home from their dinner date.
“Hi, De. We brought you some Chinese food if you’re hungry,” Mya greets me cheerfully.
“Thanks, sure,” I say, dragging my feet to the kitchen. I tear off the paper of the chopsticks and dig into the container of vegetable lo mien, watching Dan and Mya as they playfully dance around the kitchen.
Mya takes notice of my gloomy mood. “Have you heard from Mr. MVP?” she asks gently, aware of the situation.
“No. He hasn’t called. He’s still in LA with her.”
“Alright, girlfriend, you need a night out. Forget him,” she says as if she’s reading my mind. She begins to take out the fixings to make some martinis. “Dan, we’re going to take De out for the night. She needs to get out of here and have a good time.”
I laugh, appreciating the offer. “Mya, no, you just got home from dinner. You don’t have to do that.”
“We want to, right?” she asks Dan. He obediently nods his head, agreeing with her. “Besides, it’s been awhile since we’ve all been out and got really blasted. We can all use a night like that every once in a while!”
Mya cranks up the music while we down a few drinks at the apartment, I call JJ and tell her and Luke to meet us at the Green Iguana.
I carry my martini into the bathroom as I shower and change. I leave my hair long and wavy and shake it out wildly. I apply my make-up carefully, finishing it off with my deep red lipstick. I slip on black leggings underneath a pair of black short-shorts and grab my new, silver, off the shoulder sweater that I bought last week. I throw on my high, black boots and head back to the kitchen with my empty martini glass. I’m going to have fun, even if it kills me.
“Ready!” I say cheerily, entering the kitchen and tipping my glass.
“Yes, you are,” Mya gives me her approval.
***
(Jesse)
Hearing the blaring music in the background of my old apartment and the sound of Deanna’s voice, I can tell that she’s been drinking. I figure it’s a good idea to head over to the Green Iguana just in case she gets herself into trouble. Mya isn’t good at babysitting, but she’s great at drowning your sorrows away.
Luke and I make our way to the second level of the Green Iguana. Usually we hang out on the first level, where the atmosphere is low key, with numerous TV’s viewing sports and a decent menu to order from. The second floor is more of a club scene, with occasional bands and DJ’s, though, and De is in the mood for loud music along with dancing.
When we arrive we find her out on the dance floor dancing with some guy.
“Who’s that?” Luke asks protectively as we meet up with Dan and Mya at the table.
“Relax, Prince Charming, she’s just having a little fun. I’m keeping an eye on her.”
“Great. That makes me feel better,” Luke responds sarcastically.
Mya laughs and playfully punches him in the arm. I watch De dancing on the lighted floor with some pretty-boy-looking guy that’s practically drooling all over her.
“How much has she had?” I ask. Mya holds up three fingers while Luke places an order for another round of drinks for everyone.
I see Luke’s phone light up on the counter. He picks it up and texts.
“Look who’s back.” He holds out his phone for me to read.
A text from Mikey reads, wer ru?
green iguana, u?
home, gotta talk to u.
I raise my eyebrow, surprised to see him home. “Tell him to meet us here,” I tell Luke. He sends the text and Mikey agrees.
***
(Mikey)
It’s a long flight home. My mind is mentally drained; not just from the trip, but from all of the drama of the last couple of weeks. I need to talk to Luke about the call I received while heading to the airport. I send him a text, telling him I need to talk to him. He tells me to meet him at the Green Iguana. Even though I’m tired, I’m anxious to see everyone, especially De.
Being apart from her is making me crazy. I don’t like the way I left her hanging, I should have called her and kept her in the loop as to what was going on. I miss her terribly and, for the first time since finding out about Lora Rae, I have a little bit of hope from the phone call I received. That’s why I need to talk to Luke, I need his opinion. I don’t want to get my hopes up or hers until I have a chance to investigate.
One thing I am certain about is that I want to be with De. I’ll do whatever I have to do to protect her from Lora Rae, but I need to be with her. I realize there is no denying how I feel. We’ll have to work it out together because she is it for me and always will be. We want the same things, we’re comfortable with each other and we know all of each other’s secrets, good and bad. She’s the only girl I’ll ever trust completely.
When I finally arrive at the Iguana, I’m happy to see Luke is alone at the table. The girls are busy dancing, and Dan is making his way to the men’s room. I don’t waste any time filling him in. “So, I’m on the way to the airport and my phone rings. I’m not sure how he gets my number, but anyway, he goes on to tell me that he was involved with Lora Rae in high school. They were together for awhile until he ended up meeting someone else and breaking things off with her… What do you think happens next?”
“She’s pregnant,” Luke responds.
“Exactly. So this guy is freakin’ out because one, he’s only in high school and he’s thinking, oh shit, now I’m gonna be a dad; and two, he cares about Lora Rae because they were together for a while and he didn’t want her to go through it alone. She insists on having the baby. So, he breaks things off with the other girl and goes back to Lora Rae. He’s with her for like four months or so, and finally he realizes she’s not getting any bigger…”
I stop mid-sentence when I spot Mya and JJ walking towards our table. I look past them and spot Deanna dancing with some guy who’s all over her in the middle of the dance floor.
Luke interrupts. “And…”
I break my gaze away from Deanna momentarily, obviously now I’m distracted, but I manage to wrap up my story quickly. “Turns out she was lying the whole time.” I turn my attention back to the dance floor where she seems to be really enjoying this a*shole’s company.
“So what do you think?” Luke asks, interrupting my crazy thoughts again.
“I’m gonna check it out.” I’m no longer able to concentrate on the conversation because I’m being consumed with jealousy. I glare at the dance floor in her direction. “Who the hell is that?” I ask, pointing out the guy.
Luke laughs while JJ tries to brush it off casually. “She’s just having fun. It’s just some random guy that started dancing with her, it’s innocent, she…” Before she can finish the sentence, I’m already walking briskly out to the dance floor.
I walk up behind her and tap her on the shoulder. De turns in my direction, obviously unaware that I am here, I catch her by surprise. I fiercely glare at the guy who is dancing with her and my presence alone is enough to make the poor guy scurry away, leaving us standing in the middle of the dance floor.
“What are you doing here?” Deanna asks, full of fury.
“I just got back. Who was that?” I ask with total attitude, nodding in the direction of the a*shole who hurried off.
“None of your business,” she replies, practically breathing fire.
“Really?” I ask, smirking at her.
“Really,” she answers angrily.
“You’re drunk.”
“So what? Your friends in LA don’t drink?”
“We’re outta here,” I respond, ignoring her sarcastic question.
“I’m not going anywhere. I was having a great time till you showed up.”
“Uh huh, I see that. Let’s go,” I say as I throw her over my shoulder and she yells at me to put her down. I pass by our table on our way to the exit. “We’ll catch up with you guys later.” I wave goodbye as De continues to rant and rave at my back.
“Oh shit, is this what we are going to have to deal with?” I hear Luke ask JJ while they both laugh.
“Put me down, you big idiot!” DeDe demands as we get to the bottom of the steps and I push open the exit door. I think about how happy I am to have my girl back in my arms as I slip into the alley next to the bar.
“Not until you tell me who the goon was that was all over you?”
“First of all, we were just dancing. Second, why do you care? And third, I hate you.”
I slide her gently off my shoulder, pinning her against the wall with my body so that she has no way to escape. “You hate me?” I tease, raising her chin so her mouth meets mine. I kiss her passionately and she responds to my kiss as if she doesn’t hate me at all. “That’s too bad, ‘cause I love you,” I whisper in her ear as my tongue plays along the lobe before trailing softly down her neck. The taste of her sends fire through my body. I can’t resist her any longer.
“You didn’t call,” she says breathlessly, trying to fight her desire.
“I know. I’m an idiot. Forgive me?” I ask, my mouth still softly kissing her neck, her ear, and then trailing back to her lips.
“That depends,” she says, hardly able to keep her composure. I feel the goose bumps forming on her body where my mouth is making its trail. “What changed? Why are you here?”
I stop playing with her and look into her eyes so that she knows I am sincere. “As of right now, nothing has changed. I’m here because it doesn’t matter if there is a baby or not, or if it’s mine or not, I’ll always love you. Pushing you away isn’t going to change that. I know you. You love me and you’ll love that baby if it is mine because that’s who you are. I can’t change what happened, I made a mistake, but whatever comes of this I want you with me.”
There was silence between us for a minute as I held her gaze to mine.
“I’ve made mistakes, too and you’ve always stood by me. You know me better than anyone. Anything that is a part of you is a part of me, but you can’t think you are protecting me by pushing me away; it’s not right.”
“I promise. I will never let you go. We do this together, whatever the outcome.”
“I love you so much, Mikey. It drove me crazy thinking that you believed we didn’t belong together.”
“I’m sorry.” I kiss her again. “Just so you know, I didn’t think for a second that we don’t belong together. That, I always knew. I thought I was protecting you from having to be a part of something you weren’t prepared for.” My lips softly brush against hers.
“Now that we cleared that up, can we get out of the alley before we get arrested?” I plant one more kiss before taking her by the hand and leading her to my bike. I hand her my jacket and helmet. She climbs on the back and wraps her arms tightly around my waist as we speed towards my condo.
As soon as I park, I climb off and then help her, immediately pulling her to me and kissing her. It’s all I thought about on the way home. We can barely keep our hands off one another. I can literally feel the blood pumping through my body as we clumsily make our way to the door. Our bodies are molded together, our mouths not giving up each other for air. I fumble with my keys with one hand while the other runs up and down her body, holding her tightly against me. De’s hands make their way to the waist of my jeans as she frantically reaches for the button.
We stumble through the door, laughing as I guide her to the bedroom. Once inside, we make our way to the bed. I reach for the top drawer in my nightstand, but she tells me she’s protected. I momentarily worry what she must think of me, given my current situation. She senses my uneasiness and tells me that she loves me as she takes my hand and pulls me down on the bed with her.
I begin to slow things down just a bit. I want to take my time with her. Savor every second. I’ve waited so long for this moment that I don’t want to rush through it.
I gently kiss her lips, while my eyes remain focused on hers. Slowly, I lift her sweater over her head and take the time to softly kiss her lips and travel slowly down her neck, her collarbone, finally stopping at the top of her breast. I return to her enticing full lips, while my fingers retrace the steps of my mouth. I take pleasure watching the way she responds to my touch. She pushes up my shirt, keeping her eyes on mine, and I help her by pulling it over my head. I slowly unbutton her shorts and carefully slide them down, along with her leggings. My hands gently caress her legs while only leaving her dressed in her black lacey bra and underwear. My eyes drift over her flawless body, admiring every inch of it. I want her so bad, but I’m enjoying watching her as I softly trace the outline of her body with my fingers. She trembles beneath my hands and holds her breath.
We never break eye contact as we continue to move slowly. The feel of her hands gently running along my back cause chills down my own hard body. She carefully unbuttons my jeans, pushing them past my hips, her hand brushes against me and she’s aware of how much I want her. She continues pushing them down my thighs and I once again help her by kicking them to the floor. I slide her body underneath mine while kissing her tenderly.
“Are you okay?” I whisper in her ear.
“I’m perfect,” she purrs, enjoying my touch. “I love you.”
“I love you, too. You know, you’re the only person I’ve ever said that to,” I admit, my voice raspy with desire.
***
(Deanna)
I shudder when he tells me I’m the only person he’s ever told that he loved. It arouses me more, knowing I’m the only one he has ever felt this way about. He kisses me gently, watching me take pleasure in his touch as his hands caress my body. My whole body tingles with passion and I can barely hold out any longer. He grinds his hard body against me and my hands travel along his muscular back, massaging his body into mine. He kisses me with more urgency as his tongue probes mine. He slides his hand down my neck, gently brushing along my bra, trailing down my stomach. I feel his fingers slide in the waistband of my panties. I arch my body towards him, wanting to feel his touch.
Abruptly, every part of him stops moving. I realize he is no longer kissing me or touching me. I want him now. My eyes fly open to meet his panic-stricken, frozen face staring at me.
***
(Mikey)
“What’s wrong?” she asks, looking at my terrified face.
I slightly roll off her. “DeDe, I’m freakin’ out right now.”
I feel as if I’m having a panic attack, not that I ever had one before, but if I did, I’m pretty sure this is how it would feel.
“Wait, what?” she asks as if she misheard what I said.
“I’m frea—”
“I heard what you said… WHY?” she asks in disbelief.
“I can’t,” I say, my eyes pleading for her forgiveness. “Aren’t you freakin’ out right now?” I ask with a grin starting to form on my face.
“What do you mean, you can’t? she demands. “I wasn’t freaking out, ‘cause I was too busy being into the moment, but now I am! What is going on with you?”
“I don’t know. It just freaked me out all of the sudden.” I sit up and start to laugh.
“What did?” she demands.
“This.” I wave my finger over her body. “You. Me. Like this. I feel like we’re doing something bad, like we’re gonna get caught or something.”
“Oh my God, you’ve got to be kidding me!” she says dramatically as she sits up beside me, covering herself with my shirt. “I cannot believe you, really I can’t.” She’s frustrated and embarrassed as she begins to reach for her clothes.
Now I really start to laugh. I grab her hand and hold it tightly in mine. “No, don’t get dressed… please,” I plead, trying to stop my laughter. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me. This is awesome. I love you so much. Don’t be pissed, but it just got really weird, I couldn’t go through with it.” She’s glaring at me, clearly not amused. I know she’s fuming and embarrassed, and I want to make it up to her. I take a deep breath, trying to regain my composure. “Okay, I’m better. I think I got it out of my system.” I lay her back down while I slide my body over hers. She’s hesitant, but gives in. My body instantly stimulates the second she is beneath me.
I begin to kiss her again, my hands caress her body. I feel her start to relax beneath me when she wraps her arms around me and runs her hands through my hair. When she arches her body towards mine, our breathing becomes erratic. My mouth hungrily tastes hers and things begin to heat up quickly. I undo the clasp on her bra and my mouth trails down her neck towards her breast. I don’t know what the hell is going on, but I start to break out into nervous laughter once again.
“Get off me! I cannot believe this is happening right now. You are such an a*shole!” She pushes me off her with great force.
I try not to laugh, but she’s so pissed off that it’s making me laugh even more.
“I know. I can’t help it. I swear. Aren’t you just a little freaked out? I mean, we’ve practically lived with each other since we were nine and ten. I mean, how many times did we sleep in the same room or sleep together on the couch? How many times have we fought over who was getting in the shower first? And not once, out of all of the nights we were alone together, did we even consider this ever happening.”
“Okay, now you’re freaking me out,” she says, starting to laugh herself. “Remember when you first met Luke and you used to come over and play, I used to follow you around and tell everyone you were my boyfriend and we were getting married… and you used to get all embarrassed. You were so shy back then.”
“Yeah, you scared the shit out of me. You were a brazen little seven-year-old.”
We both start cracking each other up, taking a trip down memory lane, remembering all of the times we shared growing up. She lays wrapped tightly in my arms with her head resting on my chest. It feels good and we stay like this for a while.
“Alright, Michael Vaughn, what are we going to do about this little problem you are having with feeling like you are sleeping with your little sister?” she asks, teasing me.
“Now who’s being an a*shole? Don’t even say that. Now you’re really going to mess me up.”
“I’m kidding. Relax.” She seductively strokes her fingers softly across my stomach, igniting the fire inside of me once again. She takes the initiative and positions her body on top of mine, enticing me as her hand slides up the inside of my thigh. She kisses me in a way that is so sensual, my body is inflamed with carnal desire.
“Trust me. I stopped thinking of you as my little sister when I reached the tenth grade. You don’t want to know what was going through my mind all of the times I bumped into you when you were coming out of the shower, wrapped in a towel,” I say huskily, giving her a sly smile. I’m barely able to control my hunger for her as I roll her onto her back, straddling over her, gently pinning her hands over her head as I entangle my fingers with hers.
She arches her body into mine. My hand softly strokes the side of her face. She wraps her free hand around the back of my neck, pulling me towards her as she whispers in my ear, “You’re right. I don’t want you to tell me, I want you to show me what was on your mind.”
And just like that, our little problem goes away. We spend the remainder of the evening and into the early morning with our bodies intertwined, romantically and playfully quenching our desire for each other.