The Do Over

Dani and I had both taken some time off from work this week. The plan was to surprise my mom for Christmas. She had been begging me to visit her for months. Dani had already met her through an online video chat, but they were both excited to meet in person. I shook my head, thinking of some of their conversations. I never knew my mom was a reader. Everything would have worked out perfectly if she and my stepdad hadn't decided to break with tradition and plan a romantic getaway so our trip was postponed for a later date.

Secretly, I was relieved. I wanted to have Dani to myself for a few days, so everything had worked out perfectly. We were going to spend Christmas Eve, or Nochebuena, with her family, and then she would be all mine.

Unlike Thanksgiving, there was no interrogation. Her mother was momentarily satisfied with my devotion to her daughter, and her father treated me like the son he didn't have. We shared beers and roasted the pig as we told stories of times past. Her dad loved hearing about my rescue stories. Dani, on the other hand, cringed and unsuccessfully tried to change the subject. The rest of her family welcomed me with open arms, especially her grandmother. She apparently needed another picture for her Facebook friends.

The festivities were coming to an end, and it was almost midnight by the time we left. The roads were quiet as we made our way home. Home was my place. Dani had started staying there more often. She'd said she needed to feel close to me while I was on duty. She'd admitted that my place brought her comfort, and she didn't worry as much when she was there. I loved walking in, smelling her sweet perfume, and seeing her girlie things all over the place. Most of all, I adored finding her curled up under my covers. I'd slip in behind her and wrap my arms around her waist. What I hated was stressing her out.

I loved being a firefighter. It was who I was. Every shift offered an adventure. It was an opportunity to do something great and beat the challenge ahead of me. There was nothing more satisfying than saving someone's life, making a difference, and beating death at his merciless game. Some days, we would lose, and those would be hard times. Other days, we would sit and play cards, watch sports, or work out. They were my family, and that was my house.

After Natalie had died, work had become my coping mechanism. It had become my norm. I'd worked a lot. I'd needed to be around what made me feel alive.

It wasn't fair to Dani though. She didn't deserve to sleep alone. She'd wear my T-shirt and hug my pillow to feel close to me. Those things were f*cking sexy, but I preferred her in my arms, feeling safe and at ease.

I'd talked to Captain about making some schedule changes. Starting Friday, I'd be back to working a twenty-four hour shift with seventy-two hours off. I understood the need for downtime, but there was no way I could go cold turkey for seventy-two hours. So, just to wean myself off of the intense work schedule I had become used to, I'd be heading up some drills at the academy. I'd also do some boring administrative shit, like fire inspections, a couple of days a week for a few hours.

If it meant giving Dani a little more peace of mind, I was willing to compromise. I'd do anything for her.

As usual, our hands were laced together, but tonight, Dani was hugging my arm as well. She'd been a bit clingy throughout the day. I wouldn't have minded it, but I knew her better. Plus, my arm had fallen asleep and felt numb. Something was weighing on her my mind. She'd talk when she was ready. It took everything in me to give her the space she needed to process her stuff. After all, it was Christmas. The last thing I wanted to do was fight with her. Right now, the plan was to reassure her as much as possible.

I leaned over and kissed the top of head. "You're quiet tonight."

"I don't know what's wrong with me." She sighed. "I must've caught the bah humbug."

I laughed as I pulled into the parking spot. I swiveled toward her, releasing myself from her vice grip. I tipped up her chin. "Bah humbug? Oh, my little Scrooge. How could the woman who had me go to twenty lots to look for the perfect tree, decorated our living room to look like Santa's Enchanted Forest, and snuck around to try to find her presents have the bah humbug?"

"You're wrong. It was only three lots, and I haven't been peeking." She crossed her arms. She tried to hold back her smile, but her eyes twinkled, giving her away.

Busted. I shook my head and laughed. I knew she'd been peeking. I kept my drawers pretty neat, but when everything was perfect, I knew there were little fingers searching around.

As, I opened the front door and flipped the switch to turn on the Christmas tree lights, I was momentarily blinded. It was something like Chevy Chase's Christmas Vacation. Okay, I exaggerated. The tree was beautiful, and Dani had done an amazing job with decorating it and making it perfect. I breathed in deeply, taking in the refreshing scent. Our living room smelled like pine. Yes, this was our home, and I loved thinking of it like that. When the time was right, we'd make it official.

For now, I was letting her take the lead. I knew where we were headed. I'd always known, but Dani needed to do things in her own timing. When she was ready, I knew she would dive right in with no regrets and no looking back. Until then, she would just dip her toes in the water, contemplating every single obstacle—which was usually her fears and insecurities—standing between her and what she wanted.

I tossed the keys on the counter. Laying my phone down, I saw the time. When I turned around, Dani wrapped her arms around my waist and put her head on my chest.

Pulling her in tighter, I whispered in her ear, "Merry Christmas, baby."

She looked up at me with her eyes sparkling, and I could feel her heart racing. Her face brightened. There it was, the smile that had stolen my heart and kept it captive.

"Merry Christmas," she said softly. "This is my favorite place in the world."

"The living room is your favorite place? And here I thought we could travel to exotic places," I teased, stroking her hair.

"Well, actually, I do love this room with all its dude decor. Give me another month, and I'll have it chickified." She squeezed me. "Seriously, being with you is my favorite place. Anywhere. It doesn't matter. Nothing else matters. Don't take that as a discouragement to travel to exotic places. I'm up for that also as long as I'm with you."

She had me wrapped around her little finger. I looked at her with adoration. "That's because this right here, wherever we are, is home." I swayed with her in my arms, rocking to the melody in my heart. "I think you need to look up." I pointed. "It seems a little bah-humbug elf strategically placed mistletoe right above your head."

She looked up, crinkling the cutest bunny nose. "The nerve of that little elf. I think you paid her off. This must be the only way you can get a kiss."

I could tell my playful girl felt safe. She ran her hands up my chest, wrapping them around my neck, as she pulled my mouth down over hers. Her tongue toyed with my lower lip. I brought my hands to her face, gently stroking her cheeks with my thumbs. Her lips parted, and I slipped my tongue in her mouth and kissed her with everything I had in me to give. She met me stroke for stroke. The heat between us was combustible, and the passion was intense. I needed to start shedding some of my clothes fast. As sappy as it sounded, the love between us was powerful.

When I pulled back from her, my lips missed her. My dick was aching for her, and I wanted to make love to her. I was out of breath as my heart pounded in my chest. She owned me.

"Best Christmas present ever," I panted.

"Wow, you're cheap," she said, trying to catch her breath. "I should return the gifts I bought you." She giggled as she weaved her fingers inside my shirt.

At this rate, we would never exchange our gifts. I was about twenty seconds away from throwing her on the couch and having my way with her.

"Cheap? Not even close. That kiss was priceless. The passion, the heart, the woman. I'd give my life for you." Now, I was about fifteen seconds away from putting her up on the counter. It was the closest surface.

Then she looked at me with those big brown eyes that said, "F*ck me." They might have been saying, "I love you, please make mad passionate love to me." All I knew was that my dick was on high alert. The alarms were sounding, and I needed her.

I kissed her like a man starved for his next meal. My hands were in her hair while hers were in my shirt. All my blood went south.

She pulled back and led me to the Christmas tree. "This way, Romeo."

I had no problem making love to her on the floor in front of the tree. I pictured her naked with the tiny lights reflecting off of her body. I'd lick every spot that flickered.

She grabbed the remote and quickly turned on Christmas mood music. It was nice but unnecessary. I was already in the mood. I wrapped my arm around her waist and dragged her back into me. She fell into my chest, giggling, as she tossed her head to the side.

I was like one of those vampires, zeroing in on my source of life. I licked, sucked, and nipped her neck. She whimpered, and her body trembled. My pants were about to tear apart like the Incredible Hulk.

She turned around, hooking her hand on my neck.

I cradled her in my arms. "I love you, baby." I leaned my forehead against hers. "We're going to open gifts later, right?"

She drove me insane. It wasn't the way Mr. Hurst had explained it in sixth-grade health class. Well, it was, but it was more than that. My dick and heart would collide, and my desire for her would become more than just a physical ache and throb. When I would look into her eyes, she'd reach in and grab hold of me. I would crave her lips like someone would need a tall glass of water in the desert. But the most out-of-this-world amazing moment would be when I was inside of her. We literally would become one. I didn't know that I wasn't a whole person until I was with her.

She placed a feather-light kiss on my lips. "Nope. Opening gifts now."

My brain failed to compute. My hands reached down and played with the hem of her dress as I caressed her thigh. My lips grazed her jaw while her trembling hands held my face.

Breathing heavily, she said, "Liam, look at me." Her eyes were wild. "Presents now."

Holding her in a tight embrace, I kissed the top of her head. I wanted to kiss other parts of her body, mainly between her legs, but I loved my girl more than I loved my dick. My dick was taking one for the team. I closed my eyes and slowed my own breathing. I willed myself to think of other things. ESPN. Her eyes on fire. NFL playoffs. Her panting. SportsCenter. I love her more than my dick.

"Okay, we'll do gifts now, but I don't guarantee your safety after gifts."

"Who said I wanted to be safe?" Her eyes danced playfully. "Danger's my middle name," she sassed. "But first, I do want to give you my gifts, so sit down."

As the music played softly in the background, the glimmer from the Christmas lights almost made her look angelic. Pulling her hair to one side, Dani kneeled by the tree and picked up a large box.

"I don't think I've ever seen you look so beautiful before."

"More beautiful than I was in CPR class?" she asked, coyly.

I smiled, nodding. She was breathtaking. Her eyes caught my gaze.

"Love ya," she said as a sweet smile touched her eyes.

In that instant, I fell in love with her all over again.





As morning came, I slipped out of bed, leaving Dani fast asleep. The living room floor was covered in wrapping paper. We hadn't had time to clean up. I had been busy enjoying my favorite gift of all—loving her. The courtside Heat versus Lakers tickets were a close second, but nothing compared to the feeling of being one with her. When I found what I was looking for, I slipped back into bed.

Whatever had been on her mind yesterday had vanished after we had gotten home. While she slept peacefully, I bent my elbow, resting my head on my hand, as I watched her back rise up and down slowly. I gently pulled her hair off of her face and stared. Today, I wasn't just being a sap. I wanted to see her reaction when she saw it.

After patiently waiting a good twenty minutes, I felt justified in waking her up. I nuzzled my face against her neck. "Good morning, baby." I kissed her softly, my tongue traveling along her chin.

Her body leaned back into my chest. "Five more minutes," she whispered.

She snooze-buttoned me! I threw my head back in disbelief. I wouldn't accept defeat. It was Christmas morning, and she still had one gift she hadn't opened. As I nibbled on her ear, I brought my hand around her waist. My fingers traced designs on her belly and then moved up between her tits. She squirmed under my touch, rubbing up against me.

"Merry Christmas, Sleeping Beauty. Time to wake up," I whispered into her ear.

"Good morning," she mumbled, stretching.

As her eyes fluttered opened, she focused on the gold ribbon on top of the red box. She rubbed her eyes, and a wide grin spread across her face. Grabbing it, she rolled over, and I looked into her beautiful brown eyes.

"Hmmm, what could this be?" Biting her lower lip, she struggled to suppress the excitement that danced in her eyes.

"It seems that Santa thought you were really good this year." I kissed the top of her head.

Like a little girl, she started shaking the box, bringing it to her ear. She watched my eyes for a reaction.

"Open it."

She pulled and tugged on the ribbon. Frustrated, she ripped off the paper and released the box from its confinement. When her delicate fingers opened it, her mouth dropped, and her eyes filled with tears. She squealed, "Oh my god, this is beautiful, Liam. Oh my god." Her arms came around my neck, and she kissed me frantically. "Thank you. Oh my god."

"Remember how you asked me if the key I gave you was the key to my heart?" I couldn't take my eyes off of her.

She was grinning from ear to ear. "Yeah." She nodded. Her big brown eyes glued to mine. "That was an incredible night."

As her cheeks turned a nice shade of red, I placed a soft kiss on her lips.

"I love you, baby. You don't need a key because you own my heart." I ran my fingers over the diamond heart-shaped pendant. "I want you to wear it, so you'll always know that my heart belongs next to yours."

A tear escaped her eye. "Why are you so good to me?"

I brought my lips to her face and kissed her tear away. "Why do you even have to ask?" I shook my head.

I knew Dani had been hurt. We'd since moved from her thinking that I was going to be a douchebag to her feeling undeserving. Moments like these made me want to kick that a*shole from here to kingdom come. Damn him for doing this to her.

"I could ask you the same thing," I said.

When she sat up, I took the necklace from her hands as she pulled her hair to the side.

"You're kidding me, right? You're the most amazing man I've ever known. No one has ever loved me the way you do. There's no doubt about that." She turned to face me, cupping my face with her hands. "I've never loved anyone the way I love you. You need to know that. I love you."

"I know you do." I gave her a quick peck on the lips. "I'm not going anywhere." I clasped the necklace, and the heart fell perfectly on her chest. My fingers played with the pendant. "This is the proof. Whenever you worry, just remember that what's laying right here next to your heart is mine."

She placed her hand over mine, bringing it closer to her heart. She gazed into my eyes. "Merry Christmas. Thank you, babe."

"This right here," I said, pressing my hand gently against her chest, "this is mine. Your heart's safe with me. You can trust me. I'll never let anyone, including me, break this again."

She brought her arms around my neck, her face mere inches from mine. "How is it possible…" She breathed softly. "That the man who let me leave without my phone number would say the most poetically beautiful things?"

"You inspire me." My lips grazed her smile. "Merry Christmas."





My head rested in the crook of Liam's arm. With my leg flung over his, my arm stretched across his chest as we lay in the darkened room. This was my favorite sleeping position. I could feel his heart beating as his warmth enveloped me. I slipped my other leg out from under the covers to find a cool spot on the bed. I heard the buzz of the alarm, but my body was in a complete state of relaxation. He gingerly peeled himself out from under me. I turned on my side and wrapped my arms around his pillow, inhaling his scent. Within minutes, I heard the shower running.

Liam and I had spent the last three days cocooned together. It was exactly what I'd needed. What we had wasn't an illusion.

My eyes were heavy with sleep, but my ears were tuned into everything around me. The shower stopped. I could hear Liam moving about, and my body felt his presence around me. The smell of coffee filled the room. I knew he'd be leaving soon. I'd sleep for five more minutes while he finished getting ready. As long as I was sleeping, we were still in our post-Christmas glory.

"Mmm," I hummed, feeling Liam's lips against my forehead. They brought me out of my morning haze. I opened my eyes. "Think you're getting out of here ninja-style?"

He sat down next to me. "I'm not slipping out. I'm just waking up my Sleeping Beauty with a kiss."

Wearing his gray standard-issued county polo and black cargo pants, he was ready for work. He looked down at me with eyes full of love. His lips curled into a smile as his fingers combed through my hair.

"So, that makes you Prince Charming, huh? I like that. It's much better than you using stealth skills to sneak out," I said, pulling myself up.

He wrapped his arms around me, dragging me into his body.

"Anyway, you would've failed. I always feel it when you're not next to me. It's one of my superpowers."

"Really? A bomb could go off in here, and you'd sleep through it."

He laughed as I straddled over him, causing my T-shirt to inch up.

"A bomb, I'd sleep through." I laced my arms around his neck. "You slipping out, I feel."

His eyes darkened with desire as his hands slid under my shirt, resting on my waist. "Are you sure those are superpowers? Or is it just the fact that you can't get enough of me?" he asked, his voice husky.

My heart fluttered at his touch and words. It was a potent concoction that rendered me helpless. "It's a combination," I whispered into his ear. "My superpowers are fueled by my insatiable hunger for you." My teeth gently nipped his lobe. "I'm going to miss you. You've spoiled me these last few days."

"Just these last few days? Shit, I'm slacking." He raised an eyebrow. "What are your plans for today?" His sparkling blue eyes captivated me while his hands slid up my shirt. His fingers began squeezing and pinching my nipples.

I whimpered softly as I felt the heat and throbbing between my legs. My hips were grinding against his growing erection. "I'm thinking of going to yoga in a little while, stopping by my townhouse to make sure my plants are alive, and then having my girls' night out," I panted, reaching my arms around his neck. "Promise me you'll be safe."

As he laid me on my back, he whispered, "I promise." After he lowered his pants, his tip teased me. "I'm all yours, baby. Always and forever, I'm yours." His lips grazed mine as he entered me.

"I like the sound of that." I kissed him, gingerly grazing my lips along the side of his face.

Sex with Liam—whether slow, passionate lovemaking, or hot-and-steamy f*cking, or the quickie before work—had one thing in common. We were connected and complete as we became one with each other.

We held on to each other for the few minutes we had left before he had to go.

"I feel bad that you're giving up so much because I'm neurotic. At the same time, I love it, but I don't want you to resent me for it," I admitted.

His tongue moistened his lower lip. "I'm not giving up anything. I'm gaining everything. I have the best of both worlds." He tilted his mouth toward mine and softly sucked on my lower lip. "I don't want you to worry about me. I'm not going anywhere."

"And you know this for a fact?" I said, half-teasing. I buried my face in his neck, so he couldn't see the concern in my eyes. I had to get over this nagging feeling I had in my gut.

"I have psychic abilities." His fingers traced the outline of my necklace. "What I see is you and me for a very long time. We're going to have a life filled with love, family, and half a dozen kids. The last thing I'm going to see before I leave this earth is your beautiful smile."

"I don't want to think of you leaving this earth now or then, and we really need to talk about your expectations. Half a dozen kids is not happening, bud."

I couldn't help myself from smiling though. He talked about a long life and a family. Both were things I wanted with him.





After I walked Liam to the door, wishing him a good and safe shift with a kiss, I looked around the living room. My stamp had been left all over the place. It was mostly subtle touches, like the arrangement of pillows on the couch or the throw draped over the corner of the arm. It was also my Kindle plugged into the outlet and magazines splayed across the coffee table. I realized I was playing house again. Although, this time, it was different. Now, I was home.

I had a busy day ahead, and I was excited to have some girlfriend time.





My first stop was yoga. Pulling into the parking lot, I saw Madison's car. I hadn't done yoga in almost a week, and I was actually looking forward to seeing her. Even though she was rough around the edges, there was something about her that I really liked.

I walked in and found an empty spot next to Madison's mat. After I set up, I began stretching. The class was intense. I marveled at Madison's flexibility and tone. She did amazing things with her body. Her movements were fluid, strong, and focused, but most of all, she was graceful. I tried to imitate her poses, but no matter how limber I'd become over the past several weeks, I still had a long way to go before I was at her level.

When the class ended, I thought I was going to pass out. I sat on the floor, staring into space, when a hand appeared before me. On her wrist was a beautiful bracelet I'd never seen her wear before. Madison smiled mildly. She looked uncharacteristically delicate. I took her small hand as she helped me up.

"Thank you. I feel like an old lady." I laughed.

"Come on, let's go get some wheatgrass. You'll feel young in no time." After she grabbed her bag, she tightened her ponytail. Adjusting the strap of her bag on her shoulder, she shook her wrist, causing the bracelet to slide down her arm a bit.

As we crossed the street, Madison's mood changed, and the delicate woman who had reached down to help me up was gone. She was now replaced with the tough badass who walked with her head up high, her eyes steeled, and her heart hidden behind a fortress. I looked around, wondering if there was something that had set her off, but there was nothing out of the ordinary.

We entered the familiar juice bar. I eyed our table that sat next to the plate-glass window.

"I love your bracelet. Is it new?" I asked, trying to strike up a conversation.

"It was a gift," she said, staring at the well-known menu on the bright green wall. "Just leave it alone." She was impassive and detached.

I'd never had to work so hard at making a friend, and I had to ask myself why I bothered. We could simply be acquaintances, discuss health and nutrition, and go on our merry ways. I was such a sucker for a project. She just seemed like she needed a friend.

I patted her on the shoulder. "Okay, I will."

After I ordered my wheatgrass with a mango chaser and a green smoothie, we made our way to the table. I set up my drinks, mentally preparing myself for them. When I looked up at her, I saw a tiny opening. She was sitting there with her eyes slightly downcast. She tilted her head ever so softly.

I offered my last ditch effort to welcome her into the sisterhood. "My friends and I are having a girls' night out. We're going to Breathe. I'd love for you to join us." I threw back the shot and winced. It never got easy. "Ugh, gross."

"Give it time." She shook her head and laughed. "I have to work tonight, but thanks for thinking of me," she answered politely.

With that, I admitted defeat. Madison was one tough cookie.

"Maybe some other time." I smiled flatly. "Um, you know, I've been mulling over something you said recently. Maybe you could lend some insight." I had played that conversation on an eternal loop in my head. I needed to get it out before I went crazy.

She sat back in her chair, sipping her green smoothie. "Is this going to lead to one of your tit for tats?"

"I'm not bartering for information. I simply want to understand what you meant."

"Sure, go ahead." She chewed her straw.

I leaned in with my elbows against the table. "You said that love was an illusion, and then you insinuated that I was in denial. What did you mean by that?"

Her eyes fluttered up to the ceiling. Then, she steadied them on me. "Why does it matter what I think?" She shrugged her shoulders and placed her smoothie on the table.

"I'm just curious as to why you said it. If it didn't mean anything, you wouldn't have mentioned it. You don't strike me as the type of person that says random things. You seem like you select your words very carefully, so I'm curious as to why you said those things to me."

"Yes, I said those words to you, but they weren't necessarily about you." She straightened. "Daniela, you're a smart, pretty, and very nice person. You also have two men who are vying for your affections. You're wearing a necklace that I assume is from Liam."

I nodded as I rubbed the pendant between my fingers.

"And then you have Rick, who just so happens to be on Lincoln Road every Saturday, romancing you with nostalgia and hope." She leaned against the table. "You need to decide who to hold on to and who to let go of. I don't think you're the type of person to have an affair. This isn't one of your romance novels. These are real people, so stop living in a fantasy and decide."

If it were possible, my eyes would've popped out of my head as my mouth dropped and hit the table. At least, that was how it felt. Instead, I stared at her, speechless. I blinked rapidly. "I can't believe I'm having this conversation. Why do I have to choose? There's nothing to choose. I'm with Liam, and that's how it's staying. Rick knows that. He and I are just friends. It's innocent."

She shook her head, laughing. "Are you really that naïve?" Her tone was harsh and condescending. "Or do you prefer to hide behind rationalization and denial? You mentioned that it was innocent. Do you think Liam would see it that way? How would you feel if Liam had multiple innocent rendezvous with an old lover? If what you have with Liam is real, then why are you living in the past with Rick? I doubt you love Liam as much as you say you do. He's just a placeholder until you have the guts to go with who you really want—Rick. See, love is an illusion."

The stray cat was out to play, and her claws were sharp. She scratched, gnawed, and tore through me. I stared at her, shell-shocked. I brought my trembling hands to my lap. I bit my quivering lip and batted my eyes to keep the tears from welling up. There was nothing I could do to dull the ache caused by my pounding heart.

"Are you done?" I asked, steadying my gaze. "You're so off base. You're wrong. It was a mistake to discuss this with you. You're obviously projecting your own hostilities on me. Maybe you need to stop denying what you're feeling and give in to what's going on with your goddamn cockblocking inconvenience. You can fool yourself, but you don't fool me."

She tilted her head to the side, running her hand across the base of her hairline. "I'm sorry if I upset you. You wanted to know. Daniela, you live in denial. Make up your mind." When her phone chirped, she glanced at it, rolling her eyes. She blew out a deep breath. "I have to go. Have fun with your friends. If I don't see you, have a very happy New Year." She picked up her bag. "For the record, I'm perfectly in touch with reality. He's in love with someone else." She walked away.

"Madison."

She stopped with her hand on the door, but she didn't turn around.

"I'm sorry for being a bitch."

She nodded, pushed the door open, and left.

One thing was certain. Madison would remain an enigma. I should've listened to Liam and not touched that with a ten-foot pole.

I buried my head in my hands. I felt like I'd been hit by a Mack truck. I replayed the conversation over and over. I was certain that it would stay on a loop. She's wrong. Of course, she was. What I had with Liam was real. What Rick and I had was innocent. I had everything under control. Why did she call me Daniela? No one called me that except for Rick.

I straightened up. I refused to allow Madison's words affect me. She was obviously bitter and angry. She was definitely not cut out for the sisterhood. No shit. She didn't do the girlfriend thing, and now, I understood why. I pulled out my phone and tapped on the screen because I did do the girlfriend thing.



Dani: Hey. What are you doing?



Macy: Sleeping.



Dani: Oh yeah. Wake up. I want to hang out with you.



Macy: I just got off a twelve-hour shift. Leave me alone.



Dani: Why are you working nights?



Macy: Shut up. Come over, but I'm sleeping.



I knew if I went home that I'd just obsess over the atrocities Madison spewed at me. The only solution was to spend the day with Macy. We would get mani/pedis, our hair blown out, and maybe add massages as well. We already had plans for dinner and girls' night out anyway. We could have a spa day and make it a full-day event. This would be the perfect distraction to erase Madison's words.

While driving to Macy's, I decided I needed to make one very important stop. I pulled into the gas station, went into the quick mart, opened the refrigerator, and pulled out a twenty-ounce bottle of diet soda. The condensation on the outside of the bottle felt glorious against my hand. I twisted off the cap. Tilting my head back, I closed my eyes as I brought the bottle to my mouth. I allowed the carbonation to flow smoothly down my throat as a wave of euphoria filled me.

"Ahhh, delicious." I let the carbonated and artificially sweetened nectar of the gods soothe my rattled nerves. "F*ck Madison and wheatgrass."





I quietly entered Macy's apartment, laying my purse and keys on the counter. I opened the refrigerator and put away the extra bottle of diet soda I bought for later. While Macy slept, I curled up on her couch. This gave me the perfect opportunity to kick back, pull out my Kindle, and catch up with my latest read. It was very reminiscent of the days when I'd lived with Macy during my post-Rick-break-up drama. Rightfully so, she would kill me if she knew I was talking to him now. That alone should be motivation to stop my silliness.

Madison's words haunted me as images of my time with Rick played in my head. There was nothing wrong with what we were doing. It was all a coincidence. No one was getting hurt. No lines were being crossed. We just had some stolen moments. Rick would get bored eventually. There was no guarantee he'd be there next Saturday. Who am I kidding? He would be there, just like he'd been there every Saturday for the past six weeks. He had to be with someone. There was no way he wasn't. He didn't do alone. I didn't want to think about him with anyone.

I decided I wasn't going to see him anymore, even though I wanted to. Maybe just one more time. I wanted that time with Rick. It made the hurt go away. I have it all under control. I knew he wanted more. I could see it in his eyes, and I could feel it in his touch. No, he's fine with what we have. It's all fine.

I loved Liam. I knew he wouldn't like any of this. Is that why I conveniently forgot to tell him? He would hate it. It wouldn't be Madison telling me to make a choice. It would be him.

I felt myself being pulled in two directions—the past and the present. Why did I tell Madison that I might always love Rick? I was in love with Liam.

I was snapped out of my cycle of destructive thinking when Macy tapped me on the shoulder. I turned, looking up.

She stood over me with her arms crossed, wrinkling her brow. "Earth to Dani."

"You're such a dork." I straightened up, shaking my troubling thoughts from my head. "I was caught up in my book." As I closed my Kindle, I was unsure if I had even opened a book. "Now that you're up, let's get mani/pedis and maybe a massage." I spoke her language.

Macy's countenance brightened. "You must want something if you are wooing me with a spa day, not that I'd turn it down." She picked up her phone and started making appointments.

I stared at my hands. I desperately needed a manicure. "Shoot me for wanting to spend time with my best friend in the whole wide world when I'm having a staycation. It's back to work on Monday, so take it or leave it."

"Yeah, try again. I'm your best friend in the whole wide world who's on probation." She rolled her eyes, pursing her lips.

"Fine, you're off probation, but you'll be very disappointed. There's nothing to tell," I lied. I had plenty I needed to talk about, like the flood of thoughts that were drowning me.

Everything played through my head one more time. I stared at a clueless Macy, knowing exactly what I had to do.





After a day of primping while avoiding Macy's probing questions, I stood in front of the bathroom mirror. We were both applying our makeup.

"I can't believe you invited that skank to our girls' night out," Macy huffed. She placed the mascara down on the counter. "Look, I know you have this savior complex, and you like your stray cats. But did you even consider that we might not want to hang out with her?"

I rolled my eyes. "Mace, chill out. She said she couldn't make it. You're not letting me finish the story. By the way, you should see the bracelet she got for Christmas. When I asked her about it, her walls went up. That woman could work for the CIA. I don't think anyone could break her in an interrogation."

"Whatever. I'm sure one of her sugar daddies got it for her." Macy stared into the mirror, lining her lips.

"I have no idea, but that's not the point. You're not going to believe what she said to me." I put down my makeup on the counter and turned toward Macy. "Okay, so since you're officially off probation, I need to ask you a question. I really don't care if you talk to Chris about it…well, I'd rather you didn't, but here it goes. Do you think I'm playing house with Liam?"

"Yes," she responded quickly. She pulled out a very nice pale shade of pink lip gloss to offset her smoky eyes. "Did that bitch say you were playing house with Liam?"

"No, it was worse. She said that I didn't love him, that what we had wasn't real, and that I was living in a fantasy world." I leaned against the counter, bracing myself for Macy's response.

She stared at me through the mirror. "You talk to her about your relationship with Liam, but I'm on probation?"

"Focus, Macy. I didn't talk to her about my relationship per se. I mentioned something when I was trying to get information out of her, and she totally assumed wrong. Anyhow, now she says that I'm just using him and that I don't love him. You even—quickly, I might add—said that I was playing house. The last time I did that, it didn't turn out well."

"Dani, we have so many things going on here. Thank God I'm off probation, but I still can't believe you talked to that whore," she huffed, looking at my reflection in the mirror. "First of all, the most important thing for you to get through that thick head of yours is that Liam is not Rick. How many times do I have to tell you that?" She crossed her arms, tilting her head to the side. "That she-devil is wrong about you guys. And you're only playing house because you're scared to death that he'll hurt you, which I think is stupid since the man would walk through fire for you. He took care of your re-V card, passed the inquisition with flying colors, and gave you bling for Christmas."

"Yes, I'm a bit cautious, but hello? I've opened up to him. I'm practically living with him, gave him a key to my house, and as you so eloquently put it, gave him my re-V card." I wondered if that was enough. Why haven't I officially moved in? Maybe I was holding back. Do I have some subconscious doubts? Am I secretly pining away for Rick? That was absurd.

"Geez, you pick the most bizarre time to have a Dr. Phil therapy session, which I'm so excited about since you only trust Candace with these moments. I knew my time would come eventually, and here it is." She grabbed my hands. "Yes, not only am I off probation, but I've been promoted."

"Macy, you're about to get fired. Candace is back, so I might just have this conversation with her. I'll save my sex talk for you." I stepped back, leaning against the sink.

"I'm going to ignore that." She meticulously put away her makeup. "Let me ask you a probing question." She brought her finger to her chin, raising her eyebrow.

I almost laughed. She looked ridiculous.

"If Liam asked you to marry him, what would your answer be?"

"Yes," I blurted out, smiling. I would marry Liam and have his babies. Then again, it didn't feel that long ago when I thought I was going to marry Rick. Why am I suddenly confused?

"So, tell me, is this what's been eating away at you? Or is there something else? I won't tell Chris." She narrowed her eyes, looking at me suspiciously.

"You don't think this is enough?" I asked, shaking my head.

I wanted to scream, Yes, there's more! But there was no way I was going to tell her. For now, this was more than enough.

"If there's more, then the answer is no." She stared at me, imploring me to open up.

I stared back, shrugging my shoulders.

"Well then, now that I'm officially off probation, tell me…is he any good in bed?"

"Macy, you're impossible, but fine." I looked up, remembering every time Liam and I had made love. "He's great in bed, in the car, on the floor, under the Christmas tree, on the couch, on the counter, in the chair, in the shower, against the wall, and on the boat." I smiled, thinking of him touching me, kissing me, and holding me. I couldn't deny what I felt for him.

"Wow," she said, fanning herself. "That's more than I can handle. I was on a famine, and now, you're throwing all of this at me. I'm on information and visual overload."

Leave it to Macy and her theatrics to make me laugh when I was on the verge of a breakdown.

I patted her on the back, laughing and walked into her closet, which was almost like walking into a department store. The woman knew how to shop. I rummaged through her dresses, looking for the perfect dress for the evening. "Macy, what do you think I should wear? Liam nixed the dress I wore last time." I pulled out a few dresses and laid them on the bed.

"I say no to the dress you wore last time but for different reasons. Liam needs to relax. You looked hot," Macy called out from the bathroom.

"I think I'm just going to go with this simple one-sleeved black dress. Liam's just protective. Leave him alone. I like his caveman ways," I said, holding the dress in front of me. "You can't go wrong with a little black dress."

"Remember the last time we got ready to go out?" Macy asked, coming into the bedroom. She grabbed a slinky little dress and slipped into it. "You were hyperventilating, thinking about a hot firefighter that wanted to perform CPR on you."

I felt the heat rise to my face as my smile widened across my face. "Oh, yes, I wanted to feel that slow, steady, and deep movement." I brought my hand over my necklace and played with the heart. "It was the day Liam touched my heart and brought me back to life."

Macy placed her arms on my shoulders. Putting her head next to mine, she whispered, "No one deserves this more than you." She squeezed my shoulders. "He's the real deal. I think the two of you clicked the way you did because the timing was perfect. You guys are meant to be."

"Mace, that was beautiful. Thank you." I was choked up with emotion. "I honestly love him."

"Well, I have my moments. Now, get your ass in gear. I need to get my Chris fix." She smacked my ass and grabbed her phone. "I'll text Candace and let her know we're ready to go."

I pulled my phone out of my purse.



Dani: Hey, good-looking.



Liam: I was just thinking about you.



Dani: That line's getting old.



Liam: Can't go wrong with the truth.



Dani: Won't argue with that. Getting ready to leave.



Liam: Send me a picture.



Dani: Don't trust me?



Liam: Trust you. I just want to see you.



I stretched out my arm and smiled into my phone. When I pressed the button, the flash went off. I sent him the picture.



Dani: What do you think?



Liam: Breathtaking.



Dani: You're making me blush.



Liam: I'm going to make you do more than that when I get home.



Dani: Getting a visual.



Liam: I'll make it better than you can imagine.



Dani: Are we getting a little cocky?



Liam: There's nothing little about my cock.



Dani: That's for damn sure.



Liam: Ten hours.



Dani: I love you.



Liam: XOXO.