Chapter FORTY-SEVEN
When the door to her bedchamber flew open the next afternoon, Lucy blinked in surprise. She’d been sitting at her desk, writing her obligatory weekly letter to her mother. She assured her mother that she was in good health—not that her mother cared—well chaperoned—not that her mother cared—and still entirely without the prospect of a husband—not that her mother cared, much. But still, Lucy wrote. Hoping one day her mother might show some interest.
At the loud crack of the door against the wall, Lucy dropped the quill and snapped up her head.
“There you are!” Cass stood in the doorway with her hands on her hips looking like a beautiful, angry, blond virago.
Lucy half rose from her writing desk. “Why … What? Cass, what are you doing here?”
Cass’s breath came in deep pants, and she pressed her hands against her belly. “As usual, the butler tried to tell me that you were indisposed but I raced up here. He tried to chase me, poor fellow. I find I’m actually quite fast. I had no idea.” She proudly lifted her chin in the air.
As if on cue, the butler arrived just then in the doorway. He was panting as well, and he looked to Lucy with a guilty countenance. “My lady, I do apologize, but…”
“It’s all right, Milhaven,” Lucy said. “It seems Lady Cassandra has found me.”
Cass aimed a triumphant smile at the butler. Milhaven bowed to them both and took his leave.
“That’ll teach him to try to outrun me again.” Cass trotted over, pulled off her gloves, and took a seat next to the window. “I must say, I believe Shakespierre would have caught me, however.”
Lucy couldn’t help but laugh at that. “Oh, no, I wouldn’t try to outrun Shakespierre. Not on a dare. But I cannot help but think your association with me has taught you bad manners, Cass. Outrunning the butler? That’s more like something I would do.”
Cass slapped her gloves onto the writing desk and braced her elbows atop it, still working her breathing back to rights. “Enough about running from the butler. Now do you deny hiding from me the last three sennights?”
Wincing, Lucy twirled the quill around the parchment and forced herself to look at her friend. “No. I’ve been awful. Can you forgive me? I have no excuse.”
Cass smiled. “Thank you for that. I do forgive you. Though you left me no choice but to hunt you down like a fox because I have some news for you.”
Lucy furrowed her brow. “News?”
“Yes.” There was no hint in the tone of Cass’s voice.
Lucy’s heart jumped to her throat. Her fingers rhythmically clenched and unclenched the quill. “You and Derek are betrothed.” The words didn’t hurt as much leaving her lips as she’d expected them to. She was numb. She raised her gaze to meet Cass’s face.
Cass shook her head. “What? No.”
Lucy widened her eyes. “You’re not?”
“No.”
“If that’s not your news, then what—?” She pressed both hands to her cheeks. “Oh, God. Cass, it’s not. Is it Julian? I’ll never forgive myself if he died while I was being such an awful friend. It’s just that—”
“No. No. Julian’s not dead.”
Lucy closed her eyes and breathed a deep sigh of relief. “Oh, I’m so glad. Have you heard from him? How is he?”
“My news is about Derek and Julian actually.” A small smile rested on Cass’s lips. And if she had a smile on her face when mentioning Julian …
Lucy grabbed her hand and squeezed it. “What is it, Cass? Tell me.”
Cass couldn’t control her laughter. “He’s coming home, Lucy! Julian is coming home!”
Lucy raised herself halfway from the writing desk then fell to her knees in front of Cass, clasping both her hands. “Oh, Cass, that’s wonderful news. He’s recovered?”
Tears of joy shone in Cass’s eyes. “Yes. He began to take a turn for the better a fortnight ago and he’s healing nicely according to his doctors in Brussels.”
Tears sprang to Lucy’s eyes, too. “I cannot imagine how happy you must be. This is wonderful news.”
“It is, isn’t it? I’m so happy, Lucy. I cannot wait to see him.”
A shadow crossed over Lucy’s mind. “But what about Penelope? Does he still intend to marry Penelope?”
Cass nodded. “Nothing has changed. But that’s what I wanted to say about Derek.”
Lucy’s spine went straight. She let go of her friend’s hands. She couldn’t stand to hear anything about Derek. She pulled herself back into her chair. “I don’t think—”
“I wanted to tell you that I ended things with His Grace. I told him I could not marry him.”
Lucy blinked. “You did?”
“Yes. I did.
“When?”
“Before we left Bath, actually. And to his credit, he’s made it exceedingly easy for me. Until yesterday, I hadn’t seen him since we returned to London.”
Lucy’s mouth fell open. “Truly?”
“Yes, truly. And you’d know that already if you hadn’t been hiding from me.”
Lucy bit her lip. “I’m so sorry.”
Cass continued in the happiest voice Lucy had heard out of her friend in weeks. “The duke and I went to the theater with Mother last night. We had a lovely time, but you know what I think?” Her small smile was back.
Lucy gulped. “What?”
“I think he only asked Mother and me to the theater so that he could inquire after you.”
Lucy couldn’t help the little smile that popped to her own lips. “I don’t believe that. He hasn’t been in contact with me since we left Bath.”
“What happened between the two of you there?” Cass asked carefully.
Lucy bit her lip. What a complicated question.
“Did you do anything? Say anything? To make him think you didn’t want to see him again,” Cass prodded.
Lucy nodded. “Yes. I’m afraid I did. But none of that matters. Tell me, why? Why did you break things off with Derek if Julian still plans to marry Penelope?”
Cass patted Lucy’s hand. “Oh, Lucy, everyone deserves to find love the way I love Julian. And just because I can’t have him, doesn’t mean the duke doesn’t deserve to find love with someone of his choosing. Derek doesn’t love me and I don’t love him. We both know that. He deserves to find someone with whom he can truly be happy.”
Lucy’s heart nearly beat out of her chest. “But what about you?”
Cass smoothed her hands over her skirts, but the hint of a smile still played around her lips. “I expect it will take a bit for me to become accustomed to Pen and Julian’s marriage. But eventually, I may find someone who loves me, who cannot live without me. Either that or I’ll run off to the convent.” She giggled. “I just need a bit of time.”
Cass nodded resolutely but Lucy didn’t believe it. This time she patted her friend’s hand. “You’re brave. Brave to make the decision and brave to face Penelope and Julian’s wedding. But I still think that we can—”
“No,” Cass said in the firmest voice Lucy had ever heard from her. “No more of your mischiefs. I refuse to attempt to break up my cousin’s engagement. I’m just happy Julian is recovering and that I shall see him again. Nothing else matters.” Tears shone in her blue eyes again.
Lucy blew out a deep breath. “Very well. I’ll let it be. For now.” She didn’t wait for Cass to protest that last bit. “It’s wonderful that Julian is coming home, but what about the letter you wrote to him? Did he mention it? Do you think that will make a difference in his feelings?”
Cass took a deep breath and looked her straight in the eye. “I never sent that letter.”
Lucy felt as if she were eight years old and had just fallen out of the apple tree. The breath had been completely knocked from her body. She’d been momentarily paralyzed. “You didn’t?”
“No. I didn’t.”
Lucy shook her head. “I don’t understand. I saw you write it. Watched you sand it. Waited while you heated the wax to seal it.”
“I know. I did all of that. But I never posted it, Lucy. I just”—Cass glanced down at her hands—“couldn’t. And now I realize it was the right thing to do.”
“The right thing to do,” Lucy echoed.
“Yes. Haven’t you been the one encouraging me to stand up for myself, not do everything I’m told? I’m relieved that I didn’t send that letter.”
Lucy grabbed her friend’s hand again and rested her forehead against it. “I’m sorry I tried to convince you to. I thought it was the right thing, at the time. Can you forgive me for that, too?”
Cass squeezed Lucy’s fingers. “Of course you thought it was the right thing. And I love you for it, Lucy, truly I do. There’s nothing to forgive.”
Pulling her hand from Lucy’s grasp, Cass clapped. “Now. Enough moping about things we cannot change. Let’s discuss something infinitely more delightful.”
Lucy stared at her with wide eyes. “Better than Julian coming home?”
“Well, perhaps not for me,” Cass replied with a small smile.
“What then?”
“When the duke accompanied Mama and me to the theater last night, all he could talk about was you.”
Lucy counted five. It was finally time to set things right with her friend. “There’s something I must tell you, Cass.”
She smiled at Lucy. “That you’re madly in love with the duke?”
Lucy looked twice. Cass’s face was perfectly serene. “How did you know?”
“Oh, Luce, it’s been obvious for ages.”
Lucy pressed her fingertips to her lips. “Ages? It has?”
“Yes. Janie and I have been waiting for you to finally admit it.”
Lucy slapped her hand to her forehead. “You have?”
“Absolutely. It’s been clear since we went to Bath that you and Derek were ever so much more suited to each other than he and I. In fact, I’d been pretending to be far more helpless than I really felt in an effort to allow you two to spend more time in each other’s company since the Chamberses’ ball.”
“The Chamberses’ ball!” Lucy’s mouth was a wide O. “But what about Lady Hoppington’s Venetian breakfast? You told Derek he could court you.”
Cass shook her head. “It wasn’t quite straightforward of me, I know, but I thought it was a way to keep you and Derek in proximity of each other. If I told him to leave, I think he would have then. And the two of you might never have seen each other again.”
Lucy covered her friend’s hand with her own and squeezed. “You did that for me?”
“I’d do anything for you, Lucy.” She went on, “I admit when I got the letter from Julian, it confused and upset me. I had no idea Julian felt so strongly about me marrying Derek.”
“It’s understandable, Cass.”
Cass nodded. “But if Julian were here, and he could see the two of you, he’d know it was for the best. He’d want his friend to be happy. As I do you.”
“Oh, Cass, you’re so lovely. I’m so proud to call you my friend,” Lucy said.
“The feeling is entirely mutual,” Cass replied with a smile.
Lucy sighed. “How will I tell everyone else? Does Garrett know?”
Cass shook her head. “About you and the duke? I don’t think so.”
“But you and Janie do?”
“Of course. Why do you think I faked a head cold and asked you to spend time with him? Not to mention acting like such a spineless ninny the entire time he was attempting to court me. I am a ninny. But I hope I am not quite so spineless.”
Lucy’s mouth fell open. “You are not a ninny, Cass.” She plunked her hands on her hips. “You faked your head cold?”
“I absolutely did. Janie helped me put rouge on my nose, but the false sneezing was all me. I did an admirable job of it, did I not? And I can tell you, it wasn’t much fun having to be cooped up in bed all those days in a row whenever you were about.”
Lucy snorted. “I cannot believe it. You detest lying.”
“Oh, it was lying for the very best reason, though, wasn’t it? That’s why Janie was hiding from you. She thought if she got alone with you to talk, you’d ask her too many questions and she’d be forced to admit to her duplicity.”
Lucy shook her head. “You two. I should have known you were up to something, especially when I overheard you saying what a ninny you were being. But I truly believed you needed my help dissuading Derek.”
Cass smiled back. “I know how stubborn you are, Lucy. You’d never have discovered what a match you were without a little nudge from me.”
Lucy shook her head. “I cannot believe it. And Janie knew about this?”
Cass nodded. “Can you ever forgive us?”
Lucy gave her a sidewise glance accompanied by a wide grin. “I think perhaps I can.”
“If you truly have feelings for the duke, I’m happy for you.” Cass leaned forward and whispered conspiratorially. “And do you know what I think you should do?”
“No. What?”
“I think you should go to him and tell him how you feel.”
Lucy winced. “I don’t know that that’s such a good idea. I’m not certain how he’ll react.”
“Why?”
Lucy rubbed her hand across her forehead. “When we were in Bath, I told Derek to marry you. I also told him I didn’t want to see him again.”
“What? How does that make any sense?” Cass asked with a laugh. “If we’d married, you’d be certain to see him again.”
Lucy shook her head. “I wasn’t exactly thinking clearly. I only knew I had to get away from him. I felt so guilty knowing how my feelings for him were growing when he was meant for you. I told him I’d forsake my friendship with you to allow you two to marry happily.”
Cass’s hand dropped to the desktop. “Oh, Lucy. That’s the most ludicrous thing I’ve ever heard. Is that why you’ve been hiding from me? How could I ever be happily married if I lost my closest friend as a result?”
The two women leaned over the desk and hugged, tears streaming down both of their faces. “I love you, Cass.”
“I love you, too, Luce.”
They finally let go and wiped their tears away with their handkerchiefs. Dabbing away the remaining wetness from her eyes, Lucy allowed an enormous smile to cover her face. “You know, I think I may do just what you suggested, tell Derek how I feel.”
Cass’s face turned somber. “Wait, Lucy, there’s one more thing I must tell you first.”
Lucy searched her friend’s face. “What is it?”
“Mama seems convinced that Derek still intends to offer for me. She and Papa have been discussing it. I told her not to hold out hope. I told her that I’d informed the duke I wouldn’t marry him. But she won’t listen.”
Lucy furrowed her brow. “What do you mean she won’t listen?”
“Apparently your aunt Mary wrote to her and told her how pleased she was that the duke had been courting me in Bath.”
Lucy winced. “Oh, no.”
Cass bit her lip. “Yes. And after the duke escorted Mama and me to the theater last night, she’s even more convinced he intends to offer for me. I’m quite worried that she and Papa won’t let it go. They’ve even written to Owen.”
Lucy stood up and paced over to the window to look outside. “What do you think your mother intends to do?”
“I don’t know. But I think I should warn the duke. I don’t want him to be caught off-guard if Papa attempts to speak with him.”
Lucy bit the end of her fingernail and turned back to look at her friend. “Do you think he’ll do that?”
Cass shook her head. “I don’t know. I wrote Derek a letter.” She pulled an envelope from her reticule and laid it onto Lucy’s writing desk. “I intend to have a maid bring it around in the morning. Other than that I’m not certain what else I can do. Besides trying to reason with Mama and Papa again.”
Lucy crossed her arms over her chest but forced a smile to her lips. No sense worrying about something that may not happen. Was there? “Let’s just hope it doesn’t come to that.”
Cass returned her smile. “Yes. Let’s.”
Lucy scooped up the letter. She gave her friend a sly smile. “You know. I could bring the letter around to Derek tonight if you’d like.”