chapter Fifteen
Avoiding one person is hard. Avoiding two is even harder. I wasn’t ready to give Colt an answer, and I definitely wasn’t ready to tell Tanner I didn’t want to see him again. I took my time getting ready Monday morning. My goal was to make it to class right on time. The less time for conversation with Colt the better. If I was confused before seeing Dad, now I was completely baffled. I was beginning to wonder if my determination to stay away from Gasden boys was silly, but Dad was of the same belief. I refused to get pulled back into that place. Fooling around with Colt was one thing, but getting serious? That was something else altogether. Could I separate the two? And then there was Jack. Even if he was completely over me, how could I ever face his family as Colt’s girlfriend?
Cara and I walked out the front door, and we’d barely made it five steps from the porch before running into Tanner.
“Tanner, hi.” I choked back my surprise.
“Hey, Tanner.” Cara gave me a knowing smile. It was her version of a wink. I fought back guilt. I was doing that a lot lately. I still hadn’t told my friends how little I was into him. I knew how much they wanted things to work out.
He turned to me, flashing me his brightest smile. “I remembered you saying you had a nine o’clock. I figured we might as well walk together.”
“Oh. Great.” Fantastic. Now I had to face him and Colt in a matter of minutes? I breathed in and out. I could handle this.
“You know what, I need to run ahead. Catch you guys later.” Cara smiled and ran off without giving me a chance to reply.
“We kept missing each other yesterday.” Tanner walked down the steps to the sidewalk. He’d called me a handful of times, and I’d avoided the calls. I timed my one response for when I knew he had a frat meeting.
“Yeah.” I followed behind.
“What’s your day look like today?”
I adjusted my bag on my shoulder. “Just class.”
“How many do you have?”
“Three. I have this one, econ right after with Reed, and a sociology class this afternoon.”
“Great. Let’s do an early lunch then. I’ve been craving Thai since I got back.”
I gratefully used the same excuse I’d used on Colt the week before. “Sorry. I meet my friends for lunch on these days.” I wasn’t ready to have the talk yet. I was still planning my speech.
“Just call them. It’s not like they’re going to mind giving up your lunch company for one day.”
He was right. They’d be thrilled Tanner and I were hanging out again. But lunch with Tanner didn’t appeal to me at all. Especially since he’d probably try to kiss me or something afterward. “Maybe another time.”
He looked at me funny. “Wednesday. You’ll have plenty of time to tell your friends before then. That is unless you want to do dinner instead. Maybe tonight at seven?”
“Lunch on Wednesday works.” I groaned internally. He’d backed me into a corner.
“Great. I look forward to it.”
I was never happier to reach my anthro building. I smiled. “This is me.” Colt was waiting for me outside with my coffee. He noticed my company and shook his head before Tanner noticed him.
“Hi, Colton. Waiting for someone?” Tanner put an arm around my waist, and I wanted to scream. This was bad, so bad on too many levels.
“Yes. Mallory.” He held out my coffee. “Here you go, babe.”
“You bought her coffee?”
“Yeah. She usually forgets to grab some before class.”
Tanner turned. “We could have stopped for some on our way here. Next time just tell me you need some when we leave in the morning.”
It hit me. He was trying to make it sound like I’d spent the night at his place.
“It’s not a big deal.” I stepped away, glad I had the class excuse to get out of the awkward situation.
“All right. Give me a call later.”
I gave a noncommittal nod and headed toward the door. Colt caught up with me. “Either he takes rejection well, or you didn’t tell him anything yet.”
“He ambushed me when I stepped off my porch. I wasn’t expecting to see him.”
“Nope just me.” He held open the door to the classroom.
“Yes, and I’m wearing a bra,” I said quietly.
“I might have to see that for myself.” He wriggled an eyebrow before pulling out both of our chairs.
“Yeah, not going to happen.” What I really wanted to say was yes please. God, what was wrong with me? Maybe I just needed to get him out of my system. Sleep with him again and realize I’d totally glorified it in my head. Maybe without the alcohol it would be awful. Of course, I’d been completely sober the last time we’d made out, and it was anything but awful.
“What are you thinking about?” Colt brushed his arm against mine. He made it look like an accident, but I highly doubted it was.
“Nothing.”
“Likely story.”
“We’re in class. Let’s focus.”
“I’d focus better if I knew what decision you’d come to.” He scooted his chair closer to mine.
“What decision do you think I made?”
“The right one.”
“If you’re so confident, why are you even asking?”
He leaned over. “Because I want to hear you say it.”
I groaned. “Let’s just get through class.”
“Fine.” He leaned over to whisper in my ear. “But I know what you’ll be thinking about.”
I refused to look at Colton at all during class. I wasn’t sure what answer I was going to give him, but I knew what I had to tell Tanner. I was out of time. I couldn’t put it off much longer.
Class crawled by as Cains lectured on the significance of the Lascaux cave paintings as a reflection of life in the upper Paleolithic period. I couldn’t concentrate. My thoughts kept drifting to Colt.
“Have a great day, pumpkin.” He kissed my cheek before I’d even packed up my books. He wasn’t even waiting for me? I refused to get annoyed. I was the one holding him at bay, right?
I got through econ and changed out my books before meeting the girls at the student center. I bought a sandwich and took a seat across from Juliet and Cara at a window table.
“Do you girls want to get away next weekend?” Juliet asked with some excitement.
I answered immediately. “Yes.” I definitely wanted to get away.
“Reed and I have been talking about going out to my grandparents’ beach house. Want to come with?” Juliet wasn’t super wealthy or anything, but her grandparents had a place on an exclusive island about a half hour outside the city.
“Sure! I’ll ask Aaron.” The expression on Cara’s face said it all. She was already picturing herself on the beach with her other half.
“Oh. I don’t want to be the fifth wheel.”
“You won’t be. Tanner would come.” Juliet smiled. “You don’t have to share a room if you don’t want. He can sleep on the couch or something.”
“Oh. Tanner?”
“Bingo!” Juliet yelled out.
“What?”
“I caught you.”
“Caught me?”
“If you were into Tanner, you’d be excited. And it’s not about sex, because I gave you an out there. You don’t want Tanner, you want someone else.”
I shook my head. “No. I just don’t want to spend a weekend with any guy, okay?”
“Just answer the question. Are you into Tanner or Colt?”
“Neither.” I was tired of lying to them, but I wasn’t ready to admit what had happened at the practice field.
“Okay, then let’s take care of part of this. Tell Tanner that.”
“I will.”
“Do it now.”
“No. We’re having lunch.”
“And he’s walking this way right now.” Juliet nodded toward the door behind me.
I groaned. “No way.”
“Hey, ladies.” Tanner slipped into the empty seat next to me. Mental note. Always sit next to someone.
“Hey, Tanner,” Cara said. I said nothing.
“Don’t I get a hello?” He turned his attention to me. “I didn’t know you girls ate lunch here.”
“Where did you think we ate?” I couldn’t keep the bitterness out of my voice. This meeting was as far from random as Gasden was from being a major bustling metropolis.
“I don’t know. There are plenty of eating establishments in the area.” He grinned.
“Well, aren’t you going to get food?”
“Maybe later.” He put an arm behind my chair.
Juliet gave me a look. She was challenging me and trying to get me to do the right thing. The problem is, I didn’t know what that was. Breaking up with Tanner was necessary, but how I did it was important too.
“Mallory?” Tanner said my name and I realized I’d just missed what he’d been saying.
“Sorry, what was that?”
Cara and Juliet laughed in a forced ‘this is awkward’ sort of way.
“I was asking what you were up to this weekend.”
“I’m not sure.”
“So you’re not going out to the beach?” He looked at Juliet. “Reed mentioned you were inviting your roommates too.”
Damn Reed.
“Cara’s probably in. Mallory doesn’t know yet.” Juliet shot me a well-meaning look. She was trying to help.
I turned to him. “We need to talk.”
“Here?”
“Let’s go for a walk.” I wrapped up my mostly uneaten sandwich and slipped it into my bag. Only eating part of my lunch was becoming a bad habit. Hopefully, I’d have the appetite to finish it later.
“Sounds good.” He stood up. “See you around, girls.”
“Bye.” Both Juliet and Cara gave me their best game faces. I hoped he didn’t notice. I didn’t want him to think we’d been plotting this the whole time. I guess it didn’t matter anyway.
“I wanted to talk to you too.” He held open the door, and I walked out.
“What did you want to talk about?” Maybe he sensed the same thing I did. That things weren’t working.
“Jana.”
“What about her?” Was he going to admit he still had feelings for her?
“I don’t want you to let her ruin what we have going here.”
“Excuse me?”
“I didn’t want to say anything about it the other night, but this morning I could tell something’s different. You’ve already assured me you’re not into Colt, so it’s got to be Jana.”
“I don’t want to hurt my sister.” That much was true. She was really sweet and aside from her drunken bitterness had always been nice to me. Using Jana as an excuse could be an easy way out without having to confess about Colt.
Tanner stopped at a bench and gestured for me to sit down. “You don’t have to hurt her. We broke up ages ago.”
I sat, placing my bag next to me on the bench. “Still, I can’t do that to her.”
“So that’s it? You want to break things off because I dated one of your sorority sisters before you even met me?” Instead of sitting on the other side of my bag like I expected, he moved it, and sat down beside me.
“I haven’t even talked to Jana about it.”
“Then talk to her and get back to me. This is pointless.”
“Okay. Fine.” I needed to stop playing games. It would only lead to someone getting hurt. “I don’t think it’s going to work with us.”
“Don’t go into acting, hon. You suck at it.”
“I’m not acting.”
“You’re worried about Jana. I get that.”
“It’s more than that. I don’t want to keep seeing you.”
He smiled. Was he crazy? “Dinner next weekend? Or better yet, let’s spend next weekend at the beach together.”
“What part of ‘I don’t think it’s going to work’ don’t you get? I don’t want to go out with you anymore.”
“You are not breaking up with me.” His voice rose and his eyes widened.
“We were never in a relationship so technically this isn’t a break up. It’s more of a ‘thanks, but no thanks.’”
He laughed. “All right. Let’s take a break. Talk to Jana, clear your conscious. I’ll call you in a few weeks.” Without another word, he stood up and walked away.
Had that just happened?