chapter Thirteen
Tanner showed up ten minutes early for our date. I’d finally called him back after leaving Starbucks. He sounded relieved I wasn’t cancelling on him.
He was pacing the porch by the time I walked outside. “Hey.”
“Hey. Sorry. I kind of scheduled my prep time down to the minute.” I never liked to seem overly anxious for a guy. Making them wait just made your entrance that much better. Even if I wasn’t trying to impress him, some habits are hard to break.
“That’s fine.” He let his eyes travel the length of me. “You look great.”
“Thanks.” I guess he liked the casual jean skirt look on me.
“Just so you know, we don’t have to go to this party.”
“What do you mean? Aren’t we going out?”
“Yeah, but we can do something else. Considering everything with your dad, I understand if you want to do something more low key.”
“The party sounds fun.” I forced an upbeat smile. Dad was okay, and sitting around thinking about how little he wanted to see me didn’t sound like a great idea.
“Okay, cool.”
He took my hand firmly in his own, and we walked down the steps. “Are you okay walking? It’s a few blocks.”
“Yeah, that’s fine. I wore the right shoes.” I gestured to my strappy flats.
“I see. Hopefully you don’t think I’m always going to make you walk places.”
“Drinking and driving isn’t my idea of cool. I appreciate you thinking ahead.”
“I don’t always have to drink, but I usually do.” He smiled sheepishly.
“Not a problem. I usually drink too.” My guess is most of the student body would have said the same thing. It’s not that alcohol was the only way to have fun, but it definitely helped.
He took my hand as we headed toward Wentworth Street. “The guys hosting are pretty cool. I’m not sure how big this party is going to be.”
“Are they Greek?” If they weren’t in a frat, chances were I didn’t know them. Without meaning to, I’d sequestered myself into the Greek scene.
“No, they didn’t join a house. Most of my floor mates didn’t.”
“Really? What dorm were you in?”
“Don’t laugh.” He looked away from me.
“Wait, were you in Teller?”
He nodded. “Yup, I’m an honors kid.”
“That’s cool. I’m in the program, but I opted for a regular freshman dorm.”
“That was smart. I probably should have. I think I was persuaded by the nicer rooms and stuff.”
I laughed. “I was at first, but I didn’t want to pigeon hole myself.”
“Yeah. I rushed so it wasn’t an issue, but it would have been different otherwise.”
“So is this background info a warning that this is going to be a nerd party?”
Tanner laughed. “Not at all. I’m just admitting it before all the reminiscing starts.”
“I’ll try to remember that.”
“I didn’t know you were in the honors program though.” He looked over at me.
“Yup. I’m not a complete ditz.”
He laughed again. “Because that’s exactly what I thought you were.”
He turned down a walkway and up a front porch. I felt a little bit of anxiety walking into a party of people I didn’t know, but I wasn’t about to show it. I held my head up and strode in.
“T man, what’s up!” A guy wearing a bright green polo strode right over to us.
“Hey, man. How’s it going?”
“Good. Good. I’m glad you could make it.” Then he seemed to suddenly notice me. “And who’s this?”
“Glen, this is Mallory. Mallory, this is Glen.”
“Nice to meet you.” He held out a hand. “I’m not sure what you see in this loser, but it’s got to be something.”
I smiled. “Nice to meet you too. And the jury’s still out. He’s in a trial period.”
“Ouch. Good luck, man.”
“This is our second date in three days. I’m not too worried.” Tanner put a hand on my back and led me further into the living room.
He ran into a few more friends, and I ended up standing around by myself. I decided to find something to drink. I settled for a plastic cup of beer from a keg that I found in the kitchen. It wasn’t ideal, but it was something. I people watched to ward off the boredom. I shouldn’t have been surprised Tanner had left my side so quickly. I had the sneaking suspicion he’d only invited me to show me off. But why? It’s not like Tanner had anything to prove.
“Hey! I didn’t know you were coming.” Jana smiled at me from where she stood with a guy I didn’t recognize.
“Hey. I didn’t know you were either. I haven’t seen you in a few days.”
She introduced me to the guy whose name I quickly forgot. I was awful about that. He went into the kitchen to refill his cup.
“Are you here with Tanner?” She glanced around.
“Yeah. I’m not sure why though.”
She smiled lightly. “Yeah, I bet. Kind of a different scene, huh?”
“I just don’t know anyone. He seemed really into having me come though.”
“Most guys like to show off pretty things.” Jana flipped her hair off her shoulder. I’d never heard her talk about anyone that way. I was really getting tired of her whole mysterious vibe about anything involving Tanner.
“You never told me why you thought Tanner and I would be a better match.”
She put a hand on her hip. “You never told me your secret either.”
“Mine doesn’t involve you. Yours involves me.”
“It’s not a big deal. It’s just that you guys come from more similar backgrounds.”
“What do you mean?”
“Please. I know you’re smart,” Jana snapped again. She had to be drunk. She never talked to me that way.
“Pretend I’m dumb.”
“You both come from money. I don’t.”
I swallowed hard. Of course, that’s what she meant. The only problem with letting everyone know your dad is a major bank exec is that you’re also making them think you’re loaded. Not the case with me. Dad sent the occasional check (i.e. the six month late birthday card), or some flashy jewelry for a special occasion, but he hadn’t even offered to help pay my tuition. I would have thought my ancient truck would have already dispelled the money rumor. I guess they bought that I had a unique retro style.
“You think you guys didn’t work out because you come from different backgrounds?”
“You don’t have to be so PC.” She swayed. “I’m poor compared to him.”
“If he’s that shallow, it’s not going to work for us either.” I was already realizing how incompatible we were anyway. Besides, if he only wanted to date girls with money, he’d lose interest when he saw my modest house in the boonies.
“Yeah, I bet. You were born with a silver spoon in your mouth. You’re just like him.”
I tried to ignore the pang her words caused. Isn’t that exactly what I wanted everyone to think? I gave myself a second to calm down before replying. “Are you okay?”
“I’m sorry.” Her face softened. “I shouldn’t be lashing out at you.”
“It’s okay.”
“There you are.” Tanner put an arm around my waist. “I haven’t seen you in ages.”
“I think I’m going to head out with Jana.” I shot her a look. I didn’t want to spill about the fact that she was drunk. I hoped she played along. I figured she didn’t want everyone at the party thinking she was too plastered to get home herself.
“I brought you here, I’m bringing you home.” He tightened his arm around my waist.
“It’s not a long walk.”
“I’ll walk both of you.”
“Are you sure?” Jana asked sweetly. She was being much nicer to him than she was to me.
“Definitely.” He gave her half a smile before leading me toward the door.
None of us said much of anything on the way back to the house.
“Thanks for walking me back.” Jana quickly hurried inside when we reached the porch. I’d give her time to sober up and then try to catch up with her. Was she upset with me for dating him? Or was it more she was still mad at him for ending things with her? I’d have to find out later.
“I had a great time tonight.” His breath was warm on my face.
“I had fun. Thanks for inviting me.” I pushed away thoughts of Jana for the moment. I needed to end the evening even if it wasn’t quite ten o’clock.
“Thanks for coming.”
I smiled, ready to end the circular conversation.
He gave no warning before his lips met mine. They moved quickly, and he didn’t wait long before pushing for access to my mouth. I gave it, more out of surprise and curiosity than actual desire. I felt nothing. He groaned, and I knew I needed to break the kiss. We were on different wave lengths. When I pulled back, he had a grin on his face.
“I better go.” I moved toward the door.
“In a hurry?”
“Just tired.”
“I’m sure it’s been a hard few days for you.” His words were kind, which made the fact that all I wanted to do was get to my room even worse.
“It has.”
“I’ll call you.” He leaned over to kiss me again, but I moved.
“No good night kiss?” He looked disappointed.
“You just got your good night kiss.” I punched in the code. “Good night.”
“Sweet dreams, Mallory.” He watched me intently, and I knew he was hoping I’d change my mind and kiss him again.
“You too.” But not too sweet, I thought to myself.
My room was empty when I got upstairs. Juliet and Cara were probably at the Kappa house. I imagined Tanner going home and gushing over how great the night went. What was I going to do now? First, I get outed for hooking up with a pledge, on a farm no less, and now I was going to have to break things off with a senior. Maybe I’d have to find a new frat to hang out with. Like that was an option. Delta Mu did everything with Kappa.
***
You up? Colt’s short text message brought me out of my thoughts. I’d had good intentions of getting up and hanging out with some of my sisters downstairs, but I hadn’t moved at all since changing into comfortable clothes and lying down on my bed.
Yeah. It’s only eleven.
Want to hang out?
Tonight?
Yeah.
I just got home from a date.
You went home. That’s the important part.
Very funny. I’ll see you in class on Monday.
I’ve got a pint of Miss Lawson’s Pralines and Cream.
How? My stomach growled just thinking about my favorite ice cream from home. It was homemade and you couldn’t buy it anywhere else.
I’m hooked up. Come on down?
I walked over to the window. Colton was standing on the sidewalk holding up the ice cream.
You look like a weirdo.
I’m a weirdo with good ice cream. Come on.
All right. Friends ate ice cream together, didn’t they?
I zipped up a hoodie over my tank, not for warmth but because I was too lazy to put on a bra. I figured the ice cream was cold and would keep me from overheating. Charleston in August is hot. Some people call it oppressive, I call it wonderful. I love the heat.
Colton grinned when he saw me. I couldn’t contain a smile of my own when I saw him standing there in his worn out Gasden Gladiators t-shirt and cargo style shorts.
“Is there a reason for this visit?”
“Do I have to have a reason if I come bearing this?” He held up the paper bag with the ice cream.
“I suppose not.” I reached for the bag.
He held it away. “Let’s go somewhere else. Your porch gets too much traffic.”
“We don’t need privacy.”
“Do you really want to be seen stuffing your face with ice cream?”
“I won’t be stuffing my face.”
“It’s Miss Lawson’s Pralines and Cream.” He tapped the bag. “You’ll be stuffing your face.”
He was probably right. Miss Lawson’s ice cream was dangerously addictive. “Where do you suggest we go?”
He got that twinkle in his eye, and I knew I was in trouble.
“Oh no. What are you thinking?”
“Just come with me.” He took my hand, and despite my better judgment, I let him pull me along. After everything with my dad, and worrying about letting Tanner down easy, I was ready for a distraction.
I pulled my hand from his as we crossed over to campus. He gave me an annoyed look but didn’t say anything about it. The night was warm, and the sky was clear. I couldn’t have asked for better weather.
“Here we are.” He stopped in the middle of the practice field.
“Are you serious?”
“Of course.” He sat down, opening the bag and pulling out the ice cream and two spoons.
I sat down next to him, tugging down my shorts a bit so they covered more of my legs before settling on the grass.
“This is your idea of a good spot?”
“It’s quiet. What more could you want?” He handed me a spoon and opened the lid.
I dug in, taking a big bite. “Mm. No one makes ice cream like this.”
“I know.” He finished a bite.
“Did you bring up a chest of it or something?”
“A chest? Already planning on dipping into my supply, are you?”
“You admit there’s a supply?”
“I didn’t drag a freezer into my dorm for no reason.”
“Thanks. I needed this.”
“No problem.” He held the container so I could get a good spoonful. “Your brother says hi, by the way.”
“You talked to Davie?”
“Yeah. He asked me to check on you.”
“So that’s what this is?” A wave of disappointment hit me. Was he hanging out with me because Davie told him to?
He set down the ice cream and leaned back on his elbows. “You think I needed an excuse to want to see you?” The glow from a streetlight lit up his face, giving him an almost surreal look.
“I guess not. How is he?”
“He’s all right.”
“He saw Dad?”
“No.”
“Really?”
“He refused to go if you didn’t.”
I let out a relieved breath. “I knew my brother was cool.”
Colt laughed. “Am I allowed to tell him you said that?”
“No. Absolutely not.” As selfish as it might seem, hearing my brother hadn’t gone made me feel better. Somehow, I felt less left out. Of course, it had been Davie’s choice to avoid seeing Dad. A choice I didn’t get to make for myself.
I leaned back next to Colt. The city sky wasn’t filled with stars the way it was back home, but it was still beautiful. Colt reached over and took my hand. I didn’t stop him. Being so close to Colt reminded me of why I liked him so much in the first place. He put me at ease while also exciting me. No one else ever made me feel such different sensations at once.
“I heard you had a great date tonight.” He looked over as he spoke, but I avoided his eyes.
“Did Tanner tell you that?”
“Yeah. He got home right before we were excused for the night.”
“And he said he had a great time?” I finally gave in and looked at Colt.
He smiled. “You didn’t have such a great time, huh?”
I sighed. “No. It was all his friends. The only one I knew there was Jana who was angry drunk. Then he kissed me when we got back and… never mind.”
“Oh no. No neverminding me.”
“You don’t want to hear it.”
He rolled over on his side. “Oh, I want to hear.”
“Promise not to make a big deal out of it or tell anyone?” There was something so comforting about lying there with Colton. With everything else going on, it was nice to spend time with someone who really knew me before college and didn’t require explanations about my past.
“I promise not to tell anyone. I’m not sure about the first part.”
“Colton!”
“Fine. I’ll be good.”
“It stunk. Both times he kissed me, I felt nothing. No sparks, nothing. It was awkward and kinda boring.”
He laughed. “And what’s it like kissing me?”
“I don’t remember. It only happened once,” I teased. My body heated remembering the taste of his lips—and mouth.
“Then I’ll make you remember.”
I should have stopped him, but I didn’t. Before I knew it, his lips were on mine, moving against them perfectly, just like they had the night in the hayloft. I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him closer. He tasted like pralines and sweet ice cream, and it was so much better than even the real treat.
He moved on top of me, deepening the kiss as one hand settled on my breast. I moaned, reveling in the comfort of his lips and the weight of his body on mine. I slipped my hand under his t-shirt, brushing my fingers across his warm skin. He groaned, and I liked it. I liked causing that response, and I moved my hand up higher, exploring every inch of his muscular planes.
He broke the kiss, and I relaxed back against the grass.
“Are you going to remember the way I kiss this time?” He moved off me, and I felt him settle down at my side.
“Maybe.” I opened my eyes. His face was inches from mine.
He smiled. “That’s a yes.”
“Don’t look so proud of yourself.”
“Why not?”
“Because.”
“Oh no. Are you going to say this was only a two-time thing? Because if so, I might as well get more than making out with you out of the deal.”
I punched him playfully. “You are not getting anything else tonight.”
“That’s all right. At least I know you like kissing me. That’s better than some other people get.”
“Don’t start, and you promised not to say anything.”
“When are you going to tell him?”
“I don’t know.” I was so not ready to deal with the fall out of ending things.
“You have to tell him. You can’t just let him find out about us.” Colt ran a hand over my arm. It sent a shiver through me. “If you want, I can tell him.”
“There’s no ‘us’ to tell him about.”
He exhaled sharply. “Yes, there is. I was part of that kiss. There is definitely an us.”
“We can’t do this, Colton.” I shifted away.
He followed. “Why not?”
“First off, I can’t break it off with an active and then date a pledge. They’d make your life horrible.”
“So?”
“So? Do you want more hazing?”
“I don’t care. He’ll get over it.”
“Second, it would be terrible for me.” I sat up.
“Oh, now the truth comes out.”
“What do you expect? My best friends are dating seniors in your house. I can’t just jump from Tanner to you.”
“You’ve got it all wrong.” He sat up next to me. “You jumped from me to Tanner. Now you’re just coming back where you belong.” He left three small kisses along my jaw that sent shivers throughout my body.
“We can’t.”
“Yes, we can. What’s the alternative? Ignore the feelings we have for each other? You keep dating a guy you don’t even like?”
“I don’t have to have a guy. I can just end things with Tanner.”
“Is it the timing? Do you just want to space things out?” He stretched out his legs in front of him.
“Yeah. I need time.” That wasn’t the whole truth. I wasn’t sure if it would ever be okay. He was Jack’s brother after all.
“Are you really going to be able to wait long?” He raised an eyebrow.
“Absolutely.”
His lips moved to my neck, and I leaned my head back to give him better access. “Are you sure?”
“Positive.” My confidence waned with each successive kiss.
“Yeah.” His lips moved lower as he unzipped my sweatshirt. His hand slid underneath my tank top.
I moaned. Between his lips on my neck and his hand fondling my breast, I wasn’t sure how much I could take. “You’re mean.”
“Mean? You call this mean?” His voice was throaty. He was enjoying himself just as much.
“Maybe we can just see each other without anyone knowing?”
“You want to sneak around?” He pulled back his lips and his hand.
I missed them instantly. “Just until I figure things out.” I noticed his face fall a little. “We don’t have to. You could find someone else.” The picture my words elicited wasn’t one I liked.
“Come on, Mallory. You know I don’t want to find someone else.”
“Well, those are your options.” I stood up and dusted some grass off my shorts.
“I’ll take it.” He stood next to me and slowly re-zipped my sweatshirt. “But you still have to end things with Tanner. Being quiet about us is one thing, you’re right it will make my life easier as a pledge, but I’m not going to feel like I’m doing something wrong. You’re either with me or you’re not.”
I thought for a moment. My next words could have some serious consequences.
His hand settled on my hip. “What do you say, pumpkin?” He leaned in, gently brushing his lips against mine.
“No fair.”
He laughed. “The fact that you find that persuasive should make the decision easier. You want to be with me.”
“We can try.”
“Try? I think we’ve already tried. We work well together.”
I swallowed hard. “I can’t believe I’m agreeing to this.”
“Why? It’s a relationship, not something bad.”
“Relationship? I thought it was more like exclusive friends with benefits.”
“Exclusive friends with benefits? Where do you come up with this stuff?” He put a hand on either of my arms. “No. It’s a relationship that we aren’t going to be broadcasting right away.”
“No. I like my description better.”
He groaned. “No. That’s ridiculous. That implies we’re friends who like to hook up. My feelings for you are not friendly, Mal. They’re not. And it’s not just about sex either. I care about you.”
“I care about you, but—”
“No buts. You decide if your feelings for me go beyond friends and sexual attraction. If they do, I’m here.”
“And if they don’t?”
“They do. They always have.” He didn’t show a hint of doubt.
“I need to think about it. I have to talk to Tanner anyway.”
“Think about it all you want.” His lips were on mine again. I forced my hands to stay at my sides, but I couldn’t convince my tongue to behave.
Before I knew it, I was back down on the grass with Colton on top of me again.
I pushed against his chest. “I thought I was supposed to be thinking about it.”
“You are. I was just giving you one last reminder of what a relationship with me offers.”
“Walk me home, Colt.” I sat up.
He took my hand and helped me to standing. “Are you sure it’s your house you want to go to?”
“You think I’m going to go back to your freshman dorm?”
“No. That’s not on the table until you give me an answer.”
“You had random sex with me once, don’t act like a saint.”
“That wasn’t random sex.” He lightly touched my ass. I was about to scold him when I realized he was dusting off some grass.
“It wasn’t?”
“Nope. I knew we’d end up together.” He took my hand. “Do you think you’ll make up your mind by tomorrow? I need to plan out my week.”
“Plan out your week? I’m sorry if I might interfere with your social calendar.” We turned back toward the houses.
“I’m not worried about my other plans, babe. I’m worried about making sure I leave plenty of time to spend with you.”
“That’s kinda sweet.” I stopped at the foot of the steps of my house.
“Only kinda?”
“Very.”
“Have a good night.”
“You too.” I started up the steps.
“Mal,” he called.
“Yeah?”
“Sweet dreams. And I don’t think it’s a coincidence that you never wear bras around me.”
“I didn’t expect to see you at that field party.”
“But you knew you’d be seeing me when you came out tonight.” He grinned. “Good night.”