“Not necessarily,” he whispered.
I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled his head down towards me, stroking his short, silky hair. His gentle lips touched mine and desire exploded inside me, rushing through my veins like quicksilver. A soft, wordless sound escaped him, and my tongue was in his mouth, savoring his taste, tasting his own desire.
My hands ran down his back and pulled up his T-shirt, greedily. My fingers turned to claws as I raked my nails down his back, making him gasp. He leaned away abruptly and tugged the material over his head; then his naked chest was pressing into me, forcing me into the sand. Against my belly, his erection was taut.
God! How I wanted him. To renew the sensation of him inside me, to understand… to feel that I was desired and loved and needed.
He forced one leg between mine and ran his hand along my bare skin, up my knee, my hip, teasing the material of my panties, before moving up to my waist and then running his hand over my breast and squeezing gently.
I was desperate to take it further but I was held back by the thin edge of reason, and the knowledge that one more step would tip me into the darkness.
“We have to stop,” I groaned against his lips.
“No,” he gasped.
His hand moved determinedly under the thin fabric of my strappy T-shirt, stroking and caressing my breasts.
My breathing was becoming ragged, as if I was running.
Summoning my final ounce of will power, I pushed feebly against his chest.
“No, Sebastian.”
He stopped instantly, and with a soft moan, rolled onto his back.
“I want you, Caro. I want to make love to you. I want to make love to you forever.”
My breath caught in my throat.
I want that, too. So much.
I didn’t answer, but lay unmoving, feeling my body float back to earth.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him adjust himself. I felt guilty for making him uncomfortable.
Hell, was there anything I didn’t feel guilty about?
“Is this what it’s going to be like for the next four months?” he said, sounding aggrieved.
“Or I could join a convent,” I muttered, almost to myself.
“I’d still find you,” he said darkly.
I smiled.
“Okay, no convents. Or monasteries, come to think of it.”
I fished around for a new topic of conversation.
“Tell me about this job you mentioned. When do you start?”
“I haven’t applied for it yet.”
“Why not?”
“I wanted to make sure it was okay with you first, Caro.”
I was surprised. Yes, that was the word, surprised and just plain amazed.
“You… you were waiting for… what, my permission?”
“Well, not exactly.” He sounded puzzled. “So we could discuss it together and then decide.”
Oh. Like a real couple.
David never discussed anything with me; I simply received his Decree from on high.
“And you’ll be working the late shift? Well, that sounds fine to me.”
“Great!” he said and turned on his side to look at me, smiling. “I’ll have to do some day shifts, maybe. The pay is shit but Ches said the tips are pretty good, especially from older women.”
I winced and his expression froze.
“I didn’t mean… I don’t think of you like that! Caro, no!”
But the genie was out of the bottle, a vintage one at that.
“It’s not far off the mark, Sebastian.”
He sat up, his face alarmed.
“Don’t say that! I love you so much, Caro. I… what I feel for you… I’ve never…”
He grabbed my hand and held the palm against his cheek.
I sat up, too, shaking sand from my hair.
“It is what it is, Sebastian.”
We sat in silence for some minutes.
I could tell he was mortified, wishing his candid words unsaid.
“So,” I said at last, my tone deliberately light, “no girls at high school who grabbed your attention? No cheerleaders waving their pompoms at you?”
He smiled ruefully, relieved, I thought for yet another change of topic.
“Not really.”