I was hurt that he’d even think that.
“Sorry, baby, I had to say it.” He sighed. “We were in Nowzad in the first place to make contact with someone – a local guy – who was going to get us to one of the Taliban leaders – so we could take him out. That’s why they wanted me there, because they were worried about using local interpreters for a sensitive op. It was supposed to be a small patrol, just the 14 of us, with Jankowski in charge. At the last minute, Grant was told we had to take these two guys from the Afghan National Army with us. He wasn’t happy, but he got overruled. We headed out into the mountains for what we thought would be three or four days, but we didn’t get that far. When we got to the village for the meet, we knew right away that something was wrong – it was just too damn quiet. There was nobody in the fields, no one sitting outside their houses. We were all on edge.
“I went ahead with the ANA guys and they were calling out for the man we were supposed to meet. Then this guy came out from behind one of the buildings and he was talking really fast, and he looked fucking terrified. I realized he was quoting from the Koran and I knew then he’d been turned into a human fucking bomb. I yelled at everyone to get back, but then I felt like I’d been punched in the shoulder and I realized I’d been shot. One of the ANA guys had tried to take me out, then shot his colleague and turned his rifle on the rest of the squad. The firefight started, and I could hear Jankowski yelling at the contact to get down. Mark and Jez came running over to help me – and that’s when the bomb was detonated.”
Sebastian swallowed and closed his eyes.
“The Afghan contact was just pink mist: Jankowski, Mark and Jez were caught in the blast. If Jez hadn’t been so close to me, I’d have been killed, too, but he took it for me.”
Sebastian’s voice dropped to a whisper.
“I had pieces of Jez all over me: that’s what I dream about.”
His hands were shaking and his breathing had become shallow.
“I understand, I do, tesoro,” I murmured, gently stroking his cheek. “When I was in Iraq… it was the sound of the helicopters; they were bringing in wounded and I saw… I saw. But I don’t have that nightmare anymore, Sebastian, because my worst nightmare is losing you.”
I held him tightly, because that was all I could do.
Two days later, just as he was finishing his exercises, a sheen of sweat making his body glisten in a way that made my mouth water, I decided it was time to take a further step into the world.
“How do you feel about another challenge, Sebastian?”
He glanced over at me and smiled. “Sounds interesting. Does this one involve leaving the bedroom?”
I grinned at him. “Yes, it does, but now you’ve got me thinking other things, Hunter, and my once pristine thoughts are getting a little dirty.”
“How dirty?” he said, his eyes heating under my gaze.
I stood with my hands on my hips and looked him in the eye.
“Very dirty.”
He groaned. “Why didn’t you say that before I did that damn workout, Caro?”
I laughed. “Rain check until tonight, Hunter. It’s a beautiful day, we should be outside.”
He nodded his agreement, then lifted my hand to his lips, brushing soft, sweet kisses over the tip of each finger.
“Yeah, okay. I need to see Atash anyway. He’s got some problem with immigration that he wants me to look into.”