“No. I’m going to find a way to be with you and have football somehow. How many times do I have to say it? I just haven’t figured that last part out yet. Now that camp is over, it’s my number one priority besides you. That means I’m staying here. That this will be my home—of sorts. I…dammit…I don’t want to sound all cool and collected about this. I’m not.”
Her hand gripped the sheet to her chest. “Maybe you shouldn’t insist on the job being in Dare Valley. It only limits you and your career, and I want you to be happy. I saw how you looked out there today. It makes me feel guilty. You can’t know how much.” Her voice broke on the last word.
“Babe, I love you,” he said, his voice harsh with emotion now. “I love you, and I want to be with you. I want to make a home with you again. Don’t feel guilty. I don’t regret leaving it.” And it was mostly true.
“I’m not sure you can have it all here, Blake.”
He clenched his hands together at the doubt in her voice. “I know you’re scared about the future. I am too. That’s why we haven’t talked about it before. But we’re working through things, aren’t we?”
Her whole body was so still next to him, he had the sudden urge to turn on the light.
“Well, say something. Anything.”
“Blake,” she said finally softly, “when I saw you today, I knew you still loved football like crazy and that you’d be an excellent coach. I’ve…worried about what you were going to do once the camp ended. You can’t stay here in Dare Valley without doing something with it. Not even for me. You’ll come to resent me.”
“No, I won’t,” he contradicted. “I told you that I’ll find a way to have the career of my dreams and live here with you. Just give me time to make it happen.”
She shifted her head on the pillow. “Blake, you don’t even go to Denver to see your old friends anymore because I’m here.”
Okay, so he’d stayed closer to home. What was wrong with that? “Being here with you was more important. They understand that.”
Her hand tentatively reached for him across the dark space between them. She brushed the hair back from his forehead, her fingertips so soft they were only a graze across his skin.
“You can’t keep going on like this.”
He knew this really wasn’t about anything as simple as a job. She didn’t think she could be enough for him deep down, and that wouldn’t change even if his dream opportunity landed at his feet in Dare Valley. This kind of fear was one he knew he couldn’t fight for her. He wanted to pound his chest in frustration. “Babe, do you love me?”
The sound of her head scratching against the pillow as she nodded yes eased some of his tension.
“Do you believe I love you?” he asked.
Again, she bobbed her head.
“Then give me time to create the perfect job for myself here so I can be with you.” He grabbed the hand lying between them and brought it to his lips for a kiss. “You’re going to have to trust me on this.” Make it tonight. Please, babe.
“Promise me you won’t make another huge sacrifice with your career because of me.” Her voice was small and afraid, and he didn’t know what to say to that.
“I promise you.” It was easy to say because he didn’t believe it would ever happen.
“Okay,” she said, clenching his hand hard. “I’ll trust you on this. But I want you to keep me in the loop. I don’t want to hear any more important updates for the first time from jerks like Cormack.”
“Done.” He wanted to celebrate her consent, but he didn’t feel like jumping up off the bed and doing a victory dance. “Are you ready to let everyone know we’re back together?”
“I thought that’s what I did earlier at the field when everyone was taking pictures and whispering about us.”
He scooted closer. “I meant, your family.”
“Ah…yes, we can tell them.”
The deep, dark, burning question he’d tried to stuff away surfaced and could not be silenced. “Do you ever want to be married to me again?”
There was a long silence. “Boy, you’re really going for gold tonight. I want to see how your job situation turns out. Blake, I mean it—I won’t hold you back. Not again.”
He had to bite his tongue to keep from cursing. It didn’t escape him that she hadn’t answered his question. “Okay. Thanks for telling me that.”
She’d been honest with him at least. He might not have liked all her answers. But at least they were talking about the future. Being together long-term was as much about loving each other and sharing space as it was about making sure each partner felt fulfilled. He would make it work. He’d show her.