Kate handed the photograph to Liz who glanced at it and then laid it face down on the coffee table. Liz had already read Clara’s file and seen the photograph so she wasn’t eager to look at it again. She wondered why Clara’s mother would want to hold on to a photograph like that but then again, she never did understand mothers.
“Was Clara acting unusual the days before her murder? Was there anything that seemed out of the ordinary?” Liz asked Theresa while pulling out a small notepad and pen. Theresa shook her head no.
“She was fine and happy. She was going to school and studying a lot. She had even been talking about possibly starting dating. She was always so shy and studious, she never really got around to it much. She had a study partner though that she had been mentioning to me, we were like best friends, you see, so she told me everything.
She really liked him and was thinking about accepting his offer for a date because he had asked her out several times. I told her that she should go for it, but she was just always so shy. I told her though, men like playing hard to get but only to a point. She was going to lose Francis if she didn’t say yes to him soon.” Theresa chatted away, reminiscing about the conversations with her daughter and the future her daughter might have had.
Liz tuned in and out as the cogs in her brain were turning rapidly and she starred one piece of information she gathered, eagerly circling it as she waiting for further details from Theresa. She penned more notes from their conversation into her notebook, attempting to glue more pieces together, whereas Kate sat there just quietly absorbing everything being said. Clara had died when Kate could have too, so listening about her life was as if she was looking into an alternate ending to her own story. She grieved for Clara and somehow grieved for herself at the same time. She realized that she hadn’t done that yet. She hadn’t grieved. Something so simple, so human, so obvious and yet Kate had avoided it at all costs. Facing what had happened was too much and the only way to grieve would be to do just that.
As she listened to Theresa talk, Kate realized that she hadn’t mourned because she had survived. But part of her had died, Kate wasn’t there anymore. Not the old Kate at least. The old Kate would never be sitting with a detective listening to the life of a murdered woman. She never would have ventured outside her comfort zone or done any of the things she had done the last few weeks.
The old Kate was gone and she had to grieve that loss in order to celebrate the rebirth of a new and stronger Kate. This one simple conversation opened up a window into Kate’s darkened heart and she felt the light seeping into her, clearing out the cobwebs and dust. It made little sense to her, but she felt happier and freer. In mourning Clara’s death through Theresa’s eyes, she had mourned her own and was one step closer to moving on.
~~~~
Liz shook Theresa’s hand as she stepped out onto the front porch in preparation to leave. They had spent about two hours listening to stories of Clara and getting to know Theresa. Liz had a notebook full of things she had written down but only one thing had been starred and circled, and then circled again.
She couldn’t wait to get back to the precinct and talk to her partner about it. She hadn’t mentioned anything to Kate though because after the let down with Tracy Glen, she didn’t want to build up Kate’s hopes only to potentially dash them.
Again.
Kate gave Theresa a hug that lasted a little longer than she would have liked, but knew that Theresa needed it. She promised to keep in touch and then followed Liz to the car as Theresa went back into the house and closed the door. Kate yawned, feeling a bit tired after all that activity and emotion that she had just experienced. She was eager to get back to Derrick and his warm arms and cuddle in for a good nap, as well as other things. Kate smiled to herself as she thought of him. She absentmindedly grabbed the car door handle to open it and then paused seeing an advertisement shoved into the window seal of the passenger side.
She grabbed it to toss it out but then squinted and looked at it again as something familiar jumped out at her. She suddenly stepped back from the car and let out an audible gasp, causing Liz to turn and look at her quizzically. Kate looked up and her head swiveled around. She took a few more steps back from the car and spun in a circle, looking every direction in a panic.
“Kate? What? What’s going on?” Liz hurried back to the passenger side of the car and grabbed her by her shoulders to still her. She was shaking so hard that she couldn’t get any words out, she just held up the piece of paper for Liz. Liz grabbed it from her and stared at it.