“Don’t do that, Derrick. Don’t do that.” Kate said to him sternly and unbuckled her seat-belt. She leaned closer to him over the middle console of the car and grabbed his face in her hands. She gently but firmly forced him to look directly in her eyes.
She had spent weeks being vulnerable, scared, and a victim. She wasn’t that Kate anymore, with the reentrance of Derrick into her life and her resolve to start anew Kate was transforming into a stronger version of her old self. A confident Kate, a Kate who had a purpose, a Kate who was madly in love with Derrick Kane.
“Don’t push me away, Derrick. Not again. You don’t want to do that, I know you don’t. That isn’t what you want. You want me. You want to be with me and you want to be happy. Don’t toss that away because it’s too scary, it’s too vulnerable, or it’s too real. Stay here, stay with me, Derrick.” Her words started firm but faded into softness, a gentle look in her eyes was like a lullaby pulling him gently into her arms. His stern and tight posture loosened as he slumped down in his seat a bit and looked at Kate as she let go of his face and just looked at him.
“I love you, Kate.” He told her quietly, leaning against the car seat headrest and looking at her. She just smiled at him and nodded her head. He reached over and caught her waist, pulling her towards him until their lips met in the middle. Simple and gentle kiss, expressing more between them than their words had ever been able to.
“Do you trust me, Kate?” He asked her softly, afraid of the answer but knowing he needed to hear. She tilted her head to the side as she looked at him. His eyes were so full of pain, tearless but still ripping at her heart with the emotions exuding from him. She surprised herself when she realized that she really did trust Derrick, even after what he did at the hospital. He wasn’t that man anymore and she saw that. She loved him and she trusted him, but now she wanted him to trust himself. She searched her mind for the right thing to say, something that would put him at ease and steal the hurt from his gaze.
“When I was in elementary school, the principal abused me for months. Forced me to do things I still have nightmares about. I told my parents and their reaction was even worse than what I had endured. My mother liked the attention. She loved parading me into the police station and the hospital and telling everyone how she was the mother of the abused girl. How she was so affected by everything and how she was being so strong handling everything. My feelings, my thoughts, my experiences-they weren’t even a blip on her radar.
My father found out and called me a liar. He was so embarrassed at the thought of anyone knowing, that he forced me to recant. He made me write an apology letter to my principal. I had to apologize to a man who tortured me for months. Made my life a living hell. I was six years old, Derrick.
Obviously my parents took such separate stances on the situation that they fought nonstop and they soon divorced. My mother was never really interested in having children, she had even told me once that my dad made her have kids. If she could go back and do it again, she would not of had me and Annie. So she left. Just up and left without a word, only showing up from time to time if she needs money. The last thing she said to me was that everything was my fault. That our family would have been fine if I had just kept my mouth shut.
My father couldn’t handle being alone so he drowned himself in vodka and anything else that could numb him. Annie and I spent more time taking care of him than either of our parents ever spent taking care of us. The drinking is what killed him. I tore my entire family apart, Derrick, and I was broken long before The Photographer attacked me.” Kate exhaled as she finished her short monologue.
The story of her life, of who she really was, suddenly laid bare for him to judge. She was terrified of what she had just confessed but she knew that telling him the whole truth about herself was the only way Derrick would know that she truly did trust him and love him. She wanted to give him that peace and so being vulnerable and regurgitating the darkest parts of her past was worth it to show Derrick how much she truly loved him.
“Well that’s everything, Derrick. That’s the very last skeleton in my closet. You know everything about me now, down to the ugliest details. You asked me if I trusted you, does that answer your question?” She said softly and looked over at him, nervously awaiting his response. She had been fidgeting with her hands and only glancing occasionally at him, afraid to look him directly in the eye.