chapter Thirteen
Dex was working at his computer when the sergeant stuck his head around the door and said, “Someone to see you.”
Dex looked up, his heart pounding at the thought that it might be Cathryn. “Who is it?”
“Dunno. But he’s got a cup of coffee for you, lucky bastard.”
Koro? Dex rose, surprised, and walked through the station to the front desk to see Cam Summers standing in the doorway, looking up at the pink and red begonia in the baskets hanging to either side of the building.
Dex opened the safety door and walked across the empty waiting room. Honey’s father had never come to see him at the station before. “Hey, what are you doing here? Is Honey okay?”
Cam turned. He held a takeaway cardboard cup in his hand and offered it to Dex. “She’s fine—far as I know. Brought you a coffee.”
“Thanks.” Dex took it and sipped it. Piping hot latte, just what the doctor ordered. “Great, I appreciate it.”
Cam looked back out at the baskets. “Got a minute?”
“Sure.” Dex’s stomach rumbled nervously as he followed his father-in-law-to-be out of the station and across the neatly tended lawns to a quiet spot. Cam was a big guy, several inches taller than him, and built like a cart horse, although you’d never have guessed it from his temperament. He was a gentle giant and Dex had never seen him lose his temper, although Honey had told him she’d once watched him put his fist through a wall after arguing with Marama.
They stood for a moment in companionable silence. Cam closed his eyes and Dex did the same. The March sun—hanging onto late summer by its fingernails—warmed his face, and the smell of the begonias made him think of evenings by the pool with Honey and her family, and walking with her by the river under the light of the moon.
Hopefully, he had many, many such evenings to come after they were married. If only he didn’t have this guilt sitting in his stomach like stodgy food, he would have thought himself the happiest man on earth.
He opened his eyes as a shadow fell across his face. Clouds bunched together over the sun, threatening rain. He’d checked the weather every day that week, trying to see if Saturday would be clear. So far the weathermen had promised sunshine. He hoped they were right—he wanted it to be perfect for Honey.
“So how’s things?” Cam asked.
Dex glanced across at him. “Okay I guess. A bit nervous.”
“That’s to be expected.” Cam turned his stormy-blue eyes on Dex. “You still want to marry my daughter then?”
“Of course. More than anything.”
“So I’m not to think anything of the fact that you were seen kissing another woman in plain view of State Highway Ten?”
Dex’s heart seemed to shudder to a stop.
For a long, long moment, the two men stared at each other, Cam’s gaze hard, searching, Dex’s presumably radiating the horror he felt inside.
“I don’t know what to say,” Dex said eventually, his voice little more than a whisper. “I’d say it didn’t mean anything, but I know that’s no excuse.”
Cam said nothing, just studied him thoughtfully.
Dex’s chest tightened at the thought that Cam was going to go home and tell Honey, and it was going to make her cry.
Cam frowned and he let out a long, frustrated sigh. He glanced over his shoulder, then pulled Dex around the corner, out of sight of the front desk.
Dex’s chest heaved as he struggled to control his emotions. He’d ruined it—he’d ruined everything. He was so f*cking stupid.
“Calm down, son,” Cam said. “I’m not going to tell her.”
Dex glanced up at him, confused and disbelieving.
“But you’re going to have to explain to me what happened,” Cam said.
Dex pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes, then ran his hands through his hair. “It was Cathryn,” he said hoarsely, the words tumbling out like marbles from a bag, hard and cold. “She turned up outside the school after I’d been there to do my careers talk. I panicked—I thought someone might see her, or see us talking, so I told her to get in the car. She said she just wanted to say hi and could we go for a coffee or something. I didn’t know what to do with her. I drove out to the café on State Highway Ten and bought her a coffee, but as soon as I’d done it, I couldn’t drink mine. I felt like I’d swallowed a billiard ball.”
“What did she want?” Cam asked.
“I don’t know. I still don’t know. She said she came here to visit a cousin, but she knew I was getting married. I think she might have come here to stop the wedding.” Surprisingly, Dex felt relieved to have told someone. The panic had burrowed into his chest like an insect, and for the first time his heart lightened at sharing the news.
“What is she going to do?” Cam said.
“I don’t know. Maybe nothing.”
“Why did you kiss her?”
Fresh tears of frustration and anger filled Dex’s eyes. He looked across the road to the supermarket, watching people struggling to their cars with bags of heavy shopping. How could everything be so normal when his world was falling apart?
“She taunted me,” he said, his voice low. “I told her—by mistake—that Honey and I hadn’t slept together, and she started going on about us, things we used to do… It made me angry. I left that life behind and I thought I’d moved on, but she made me feel that some of the darkness still remains inside me. She grabbed me and kissed me and, for one second, I didn’t stop her.” He looked back at Cam, his eyes blurry. “It was only a second, but I know it’s not an excuse, and I know I did wrong. I’ve hated myself for it ever since.”
“You still love Honey?”
“Of course. I know I’ve screwed up. I love her so much, Cam, it’s killing me to think I’ve hurt her…”
To his surprise, Cam reached out and rested a hand briefly on his shoulder. “Calm down,” Cam said, sounding amused. “You haven’t committed murder. Or even been unfaithful. You haven’t hurt Honey—yet. And you won’t, because she’s not going to find out.”
Dex blew out a long, slow breath. “Okay.”
“At least I’m not going to tell her. And neither will Koru. It was a friend of his who saw you and told him, you know.”
Dex closed his eyes. “F*ck.”
“F*ck indeed.”
“Is he angry?”
“He wanted to cut off your dick and stuff it in your mouth. I managed to persuade him otherwise.” Cam continued to sound amused.
Disappointment swept over Dex. His shoulders sagged. He couldn’t believe Koru had seen him. “Why aren’t you going to tell her?” he whispered.
Cam studied him thoughtfully. “Because she’s had a hell of a time in the past, and this is the happiest I’ve seen her in years. Because she’s crazy about you and, in spite of all this, I think you’re crazy about her. And because I sincerely believe that, deep down, you’re a good man, and you want to do well by her. I think you’ll be faithful to her, and you’ll look after her.”
“I will,” Dex croaked.
“Because if you don’t, I’ll let Koru loose on you.” Cam’s eyes glittered.
Dex looked at his feet, remembering Koru’s tale of what he’d done to Ian Mc-F*cking-Idiot. “How mad is he?”
Cam sighed. “He’s angry. But the thing is…we’ve all been there, Dex. You think you’re the only one who’s ever had an unhealthy obsession with a girl? People can have a hold over us for all sorts of reasons. Women are like sirens—they call out to your soul and there’s often not a damn thing you can do about it—you go running whether you want to or not.”
Was he talking about Marama or someone else? Dex wasn’t sure.
“Do you want this girl?” Cam asked.
“No!” Dex spoke vehemently. “God, no.”
“And do you love Honey?”
“Yes. I swear it, Cam. With all my heart.”
“Then let’s forget about it and concentrate on the weekend. But Dex? If you see her again, I want you to come and tell me.”
“I will, sir.”
“This woman is a worthless piece of trash and I won’t have her ruining my girl’s wedding.”
“I understand.” Dex swallowed. Cam’s eyes were hard and cold. He wouldn’t like to make an enemy of the man. He still couldn’t believe Cam had been so understanding—he wouldn’t have been surprised if Cam had phoned Honey immediately and told her, then got her brother to beat him up. Talking of which… “What about Koru?”
“Koru thinks with his heart and not with his head. But he’s been there too. He went out with a girl for a few years in England who got her claws into him. He tried to break it off several times, but each time she swore she couldn’t live without him…you know the drill.”
Dex nodded. Indeed he did. “What happened?”
“Much as the same as what happened to you, I suspect—in the end he just walked out and told her to do her worst. In his case, she carried it through, though—she took an overdose.”
“Shit.”
“Yeah. One of those cry for help things, I guess. She knew someone would be walking in the door any minute. I guess she was lucky her mother didn’t decide to go to the shops first on her way home. Anyway, suffice to say Koru knows what you’ve been through and understands what kind of woman you’re dealing with. And he likes you. You’ve been good for Honey. You’ve treated her well. Koru was deeply affected by what that man did to his sister.” Clearly Cam couldn’t bring himself to say Ian’s name. “He blames himself—as we all do—for not seeing it earlier. And he’s watched her blossom with you.”
Dex looked at his feet, embarrassed and ashamed. “I’m going to spend every day for the rest of my life making Honey happy.”
“I know.”
“I’ll make sure she doesn’t want for anything. She’s a beautiful girl and she deserves the world. I’ll make sure she gets it.”
“I know, son.” Cam nodded, seemingly satisfied. “Okay, I’d better get back to work.”
“I’ll see Koru later.”
“Yeah, well, don’t stress about it—he’s in Whangarei today. He’ll be cool. You’re seeing Honey tonight, eh?”
“Yes. I’ll come around after six. She should be home from the court by then.”
“All right. I might see you then.” Cam walked off.
Dex watched him go, then leaned against the side wall of the station and bent over, hands on his knees. He let out a long, slow breath. Shit, that was close. Cam had every right to knock his teeth down his throat and refuse to let him marry Honey. He couldn’t believe he’d got away with it.
But of course he hadn’t. Because even though Cam and now Koru knew what he’d done, Honey didn’t, and he’d have to hide it from her for the rest of his life. It would be the price he’d have to pay for having her.
He stood and studied the greying sky, his spirits low. It was kind of Cam and Koru to support him, but how could he go on like this? Lying to Honey, pretending everything was okay? Would there ever come a time when the first thing he thought about when he woke up in the morning wasn’t how he had betrayed her?