chapter 20
Big, fluffy snowflakes drifted down, dusting my coat with white and clinging to my eyelashes. They melted as they touched the sidewalk, leaving everything wet. It wouldn’t make the walkway slippery, as it would if the snow were sticking. I glanced sideways at Chelsea to see how she was doing. She still had a bit of limp, though she wasn’t using her cane today. It was surreal to be worrying about her mobility, while I walked sedately at her side, knowing that even if it were treacherously icy, I probably wouldn’t lose my balance, and if I were to fall, I wouldn’t be hurt.
“How did your appointment go?” She had just come from a check-up with her orthopaedic doctor. Her leg had pretty much been shattered in the accident.
She snorted. “He still can’t believe I’ve healed so fast.” She gave me a look, but I avoided her eyes, watching the people passing by. We hadn’t ever openly discussed her rapid healing. I was hoping she didn’t remember exactly what happened when she was in the hospital, but from the sounds of it, she knew something had.
She shook her head. “He said it’s healing well. I’ll need surgery to take out the hardware, but only if it starts working its way loose and causing pain.”
I nodded. That was good news. I was sure she was at the point where she never wanted to see another doctor again. I knew that feeling. I watched my sister as we made our way toward the little downtown shopping district. Her hair was loosely woven into two messy braids. She had stopped highlighting it, and it was a darker blond now. My mouth turned up at one corner as I took in her holey jeans and the paint flecks that dotted her hands. There was a warm feeling about her aura, and she seemed genuinely happy.
“So did you have anything in mind?” I held the coffee shop door open for her and she grimaced as she passed me. We were supposed to be finding Christmas gifts for Mom and Dad.
“Not a clue,” she said flatly. It was hard to find something for them when they had the means to just go out and buy whatever they needed.
We settled at a small table, and I took a cautious sip of my mocha. It wasn’t the same, I thought sadly. I had really enjoyed coffee prior to my little lifestyle change. It wasn’t terrible now, but it didn’t taste like a mocha. It tasted like milk, sugary syrup, and each individual spice. I set it down and used it as a hand warmer instead. It felt scalding against my cool hands, and I enjoyed the sensation.
Chelsea took a deep breath and I arched an eyebrow at her, wondering if she was going to tell me what was bothering her now. She had been worrying about something since I picked her up this afternoon. I could smell sadness and a hint of fear. “You…you still don’t remember your wreck, do you?”
I kept my expression neutral, wondering where she was going with this. Was she having flashbacks? Maybe post-traumatic stress was causing her fear? “No, I don’t.”
She nodded. “What about before? You used to say that you couldn’t even remember that day… did you ever get that memory back?”
I shook my head. Even after being turned- not that I was going to tell her that- I still had retrograde and anterograde amnesia. The last memory I had was about a week before my crash, and the first memory after was going to rehab, about a week or so after I woke up from my coma. I had lost more than a month.
Chelsea took another deep breath and I could feel her emotions ramping up. “Mel,” she said, so quietly I would have trouble hearing her if I was still human. “I think I caused your accident.”
I stared at her in surprised. I had been driving home from class when I was struck by a drunk driver- an older man that I had never met before. “How in the world could you have anything to do with my accident?”
She looked down and nervously drummed her fingers on the table. “You don’t remember that day. I talked to you on the phone right when you got out of class. I told you that I wanted to go to art school. I was hoping you would take my side and give me some help with Mom and Dad.” She shrugged depreciatingly. “But you laughed at me. I don’t think you realized how much it meant to me. You probably thought I was just being flaky.”
She sighed. “Well, the thing is…I said some pretty terrible things to you. I told you you were too perfect and that someone needed to take you down a notch. I said that you had no life and that you were nothing but a people pleaser. You hung up on me.” She covered her face with her hands. “And then we got the call from the hospital. I said all of those things to you and look what happened…” Everything she had said about me had been ripped from me and I was put in my place, just as she had wished.
I reached out and pulled her hands from her face. “Chelsea,” I said with a soft smile. “It’s not your fault. You didn’t mean all that crap, and you had no idea what was going to happen.”
She shook her head. “I think you were mad. If you hadn’t been so upset, maybe you would have seen that other car coming and been able to avoid him. I never got the chance to apologize. And then- then I was angry, thinking it was all my fault, but never quite able to tell anyone what happened. Before I knew it, I had turned into all those things I accused you of. Like I had to make it up to Mom and Dad for taking you away.”
I squeezed her hands and blinked back tears. “It’s okay,” I said, my voice trembling. “Everything is fine now. You don’t have to make up for anything.”
She nodded and pulled away. She pulled herself together and took a big gulp of her drink. “I’m going to art school,” she said, lifting her chin defiantly. “I don’t care what anyone says, I’m going. I’ve already applied to the University of California, and they’ve accepted.”
I laughed, truly happy for her. “Mom and Dad will have a cow.” I would miss her while she was so far away, but travel wasn’t really a problem for me anymore. I could go see her whenever I wanted.
Peter met us later, after he got out of work. It was only a short walk from his office to the shopping district. We were in one of those classy old lady stores, trying to find an accessory for Mom when he met up with us. He looked completely out of place, and I added to his discomfort by wrapping a flowery, brightly colored scarf around his neck. “Gorgeous, darling, just gorgeous,” I laughed. Chelsea took out her phone and snapped a picture of him wearing a wide-brimmed boating hat in a classy avocado green. He put up with our abuse stoically, winking at the old lady behind the counter as he tried on a pair of big, ugly sunglasses.
We made our way back to the car in a light mood. I don’t think she would have said anything otherwise. We had just pulled out into traffic when Chelsea leaned forward between the two front seats to address Peter and myself. “When will the dreams stop? Does whatever you did wear off eventually?”
I gaped at her and Peter braked just a little too hard as the light changed. She laughed at our shocked expressions. “You have dreams?” I kept my voice flat and even.
She shrugged. “Nothing too bad, but I dream about blood sometimes. And I see your face a lot in my dreams.”
I swallowed, not knowing what to say. I had hoped she didn’t recall anything from her first night in the hospital. I barely remembered anything because Peter had put me under his sway to keep me from hurting anyone. But he told me later that he had commanded me to heal Chelsea. He had bit my wrist, and fed my blood to her while the nurses were busy elsewhere. He said he was careful to give her only a little. My blood had still been weak, since I was fresh from the turn, but it was enough to speed her healing.
Peter took a right at the light and accelerated smoothly, flicking a glance at Chelsea. “It will fade with time.”
She turned her blue eyes on me. “This is how you got better, right? Peter did that to you too?” When I didn’t say anything, but looked to Peter for help, she continued with an exasperated sigh. “I know you guys aren’t normal. And… look, I really don’t want to know what you are. I just want to make sure I’ll still be me.”
Peter grinned at her words and I rolled my eyes. How very Chelsea of her to only care about how this was going to affect her. “You’ll just be you,” I said, shaking my head. “One monster in the family is enough.”
She gave Peter a serious look. “You’re kind of responsible for her, aren’t you? I’ve seen how you watch her. You’re always making sure she’s okay.”
He nodded slowly and she smiled. “That’s good then. I know you’ll take good care of her.” I banged my head against my window with a series of soft thumps. She still thought I needed someone to take care of me.
*****
I swiped slick, peachy polish across my nails with sure movements. The color was bright, cheerful, confident. My hands were steady, steadier than they had been even before my car accident, and the shiny polish was flawless.
Peter had apologized early on. He had asked my forgiveness for making the decision to turn me without regard for the things I would lose. I understood his feelings, but really, what had I lost? The sun would come back, and I would gain more than I had ever lost. That’s not to say I was all saintly patience. I smirked at the thought, glancing out from beneath the brim of my gargantuan hat. I pushed my darker-than-dark sunglasses up and shook out the sleeves of my long, UV resistant shirt. A breeze picked up and it ruffled the edges of the huge beach umbrella that shaded me even though I had set up my lawn chair in the deepest shadows of a big tree.
So I’m stubborn. But I was outside.
I smiled and gingerly picked up the slobbery ball that had appeared in my lap. Careful not to smudge my polish, I tossed it into the yard, laughing when Taz pounced on it with glee, and trotted back to me, his long legs as graceful as a show horse’s. He loved Peter’s house, where he had a yard to play in and lots of space to roam. “Well boy, what do we do now?”
Life had settled down and I was feeling more adjusted now, but I felt rusty, as if I had been sitting still for too long. I needed to move, to do something.
*****
I hefted a pile of two by fours and headed to where Peter and another dark-haired man were standing by a saw. The other vampire was one of Leah’s, and it turned out he had been a carpenter most of his one hundred and fiftyish years of life. Cynthia followed behind me, brushing by with a sneer. “Out of the way slowpoke.”
I smiled at her grousing and dropped the pile of wood. Then I turned to look back at the skeleton of the house behind us. It was beginning to take shape and resemble an actual structure. Leah was engrossed in conversation with the masonry guy, but she headed my way when she caught my gaze. “Look what you’ve done,” she said, her voice lacking a convincing tone. “I put an entire coven at your disposal, and you use them for this?”
I smiled at her, unrepentant. “What else?”
Peter had made his way to us, and he caught our exchange. “Habitat for Humanity is a perfectly just cause.” Leah rolled her eyes and walked away, but I saw the smile tugging at the corners of her mouth.
Once we were alone, Peter pulled an envelope from his pocket and handed it to me. I slipped a finger under the flap, grinning when I beheld the contents. “Plane tickets?”
He nodded. “To Japan? Really?” He knew I had been helping Red Cross raise money to help the survivors of a massive earthquake that had rocked the country, leaving thousands of people- most of them poor and elderly- without food and shelter in the middle of winter. Did my guy know how to romance a lady, or what?
*****
I slipped from behind a big rock and padded silently across the moonlit beach. I was barefoot, despite the light dusting of snow on the ground. I reveled in the myriad textures beneath my feet- the cold fingers of frozen sea grass, the shush of cold sand, the bumpiness of buried seashells. I could hear the ocean kissing the shore just ahead. I paused when I heard a slight splash, a mere ripple of sound barely discernible over the sound of the breaking waves.
Smiling, I continued to move stealthily toward the water, my nose filled with the cool, damp, aliveness of the place at night. When I reached the water, I slipped out of my light dress and underwear, leaving them crumpled on the sand. I slipped into the water soundlessly, creating less of a ripple than the other creature out there had made. I closed my eyes, enjoying the cool glide of the water over my skin as I stroked out toward a small island just off shore. For a human, it would be freezing. To me it just felt cool, refreshing.
Something grasped my ankle and pulled me under the water. My eyes flew open in surprise, but I didn’t struggle. I stopped breathing and kept my eyes open, though all I could see was darkness accented with silver streaks of moonlight. Two strong arms wrapped around my waist from behind and pulled me against a solid, undeniably male body. I relaxed and we floated to the surface again.
“You were quiet, but I could feel the ripples when you started swimming.” Peter’s voice was husky and melodious, his vampire voice.
I laughed. “I was quieter than you, splashing around like a wildebeest,” I teased.
He scoffed at me in disbelief. “But I was better hidden.”
I shrugged. “Okay, you win.” I turned to face him, meeting his kiss. His full mouth moved on mine as I molded myself to his rock hard body. A wave broke over us and we threatened to go under again. I pushed away gracefully, striking out toward the island at a sedate pace. Peter joined me and we paddled around like a couple of kids, splashing and laughing in the dark, cold water. I gloried in the experience, loving the control I had over my body.
I had once wondered what it would be like to swim alongside him like this. It was amazing. Humans might argue that vampires were unnatural, that we were abominations or freaks of nature. They would be wrong. I was so much more in tune with the world around me now. I could smell, feel, and hear things that humans are totally unaware of. I could sense the rhythms of Mother Nature around me. I floated on my back, feeling as if the water was breathing, the small waves lifting and dropping me in time to her heartbeat.
We reached a rocky cove, sheltered by the opening to a small cave. Peter floated beside me and we held hands as we drifted, listening to the earth breathing. After some time, we made our way up onto the shore. We flopped down on the damp sand, our senses filled with the smells and sounds of the ocean-scented night air.
Peter drew me to him and I went eagerly. He kissed me again, deeply, and I felt my aura building along with his. He pressed against me and I slowly rocked forward rubbing myself down the length of him. He moaned and lay back, drawing me with him, and I dropped kisses along his jaw to his throat as his big hands explored my body, pressing me closer to him. I sank my teeth and filled myself with him. Still pulling at his neck, I braced my knees on either side of him and he slipped inside, pressing deep. I withdrew my teeth and sat back, taking him in as I began to move. His hands slid up my ribs to cup my breasts before moving lower. I moved slowly as he drew my wrist to his mouth. He bit me, filling me with pleasure. We both cried out as orgasm washed over us, the force of it doubled by our connection.
We lay there afterward, looking up at the bright stars visible beyond the rocky overhang. It felt as if we were in the womb of the earth, surrounded by dark, and the deep pull of the currents. I mused on how far I had come in the last couple of years. I was suddenly deeply grateful for everything- my accident, meeting Peter, being turned, being defective. I was thankful for all the things I had been, the life I never would have appreciated if it hadn’t been turned upside down, the people I never would have met, the ones I never would have been able to help if I hadn’t been injured and pulled off course from the life I had planned.
I remembered Peter telling me that you have to do something with the life you’ve been given. I had been gifted with life, amazing and limitless. It was my duty to make sure it was never wasted.