chapter 14
I turned back the covers and slipped into bed. From what Peter had told me, vampires don’t sleep. Sometimes they slip into a state kind of like deep meditation, where they can blank their minds and be still for hours at a time. He said it was refreshing. However, they don’t sleep. This vampire slept. Granted, I wasn’t ever as tired as I had been before being turned, but every now and then, I needed a nap.
I flopped onto my pillow with a sigh. Peter had left to visit Leah. He had refused to take me with him, stating that I wasn’t ready to be exposed to people yet. I think he was concerned that I was still a bit weak, and he didn’t want the other coven members to know it. Without the gentle sounds of him going about his day, the house felt very empty. I thought I would have trouble sleeping without him near, but drifted off to sleep in no time.
I don’t know how long I slept. When I woke, I smelled blood, thick and choking. I got out of bed and moved soundlessly to the bedroom door, a hand pressed to my burning throat. Being careful not to make a sound, I slipped into the hallway. I paused and put a my hand to my head as a wave of dizziness hit me. The hallway was crowded with people, all of them dead. I wanted to call for help, but I didn’t dare. Whoever had done this might still be in the house. But where had all these people come from?
I gingerly stepped over bodies, trying not to look too hard. Some had been bitten, their flesh torn and ragged. Others looked like they had simply been taken apart. I stepped over an arm and my fangs elongated. Lifeless blood held no appeal to me, but the stress of the situation pulled my defensive instincts into play. The house was silent. There was no moaning or cries for help. I wrinkled my brow, wondering how I had slept through such a gruesome battle.
Exhaling, I knelt and peered into a lifeless face, someone I didn’t recognize. Chills walked up my spine. Lying next to him was a woman. I had seen her at the coven house. I couldn’t see any visible injuries, but she was dead. Clenching my fists, I stood.
As I neared the other end of the hallway, I found Cynthia. Not far away was Viktor. Leah and Peter were crumpled at the landing, their bodies entwined as if they had fought and died together. I felt numb and unreal, a sort of floating sensation. I tried to scream but nothing sound came out. I turned and pummeled my fists against the wall. My blows should have obliterated the weak sheet rock but it remained undamaged. That’s when I saw the dead man in the corner. Haine’s silver hair was streaked with blood, like a bad dye job. His wide shoulders covered the body of a woman, as if he had shielded her. Her thick, light brown hair was covering her face, but she was wearing my clothes. I tried to touch her. Me. But couldn’t. I tore at the walls. I kicked, and screamed and shouted, but I couldn’t effect my environment at all. It was as if I didn’t exist. Something wrapped around me from behind, pinning my arms to my sides as I struggled.
My eyes flew open and I pushed at the restraining hands that bit into my upper arms. Peter’s face was pinched. The worried look in his eyes lessened when I stopped struggling. His voice was anxious. “Melody,” he loosened his hold on me and stared into my eyes, “are you okay? Does it hurt somewhere? What’s going on?”
He sounded panicked, probably wondering if my body was rejecting the turn. He had told me it could happen, though that was rare. I took a deep breath and gave him a weak smile. “I’m fine,” I said, striving to stay calm. “It was just a bad dream.”
He sat back with a short laugh and ran his hand through his thick, wavy hair, making it stand on end. “Is that all?”
I nodded, then laughed. “It was just a dream. Not a big deal.”
He nodded slowly. A slight frown creased his brow, but was gone in an instant. “Well that’s good then.” He said nothing about the fact that vampires shouldn’t be able to dream, just gestured at the dark window. “Do you want to go out?”
I nodded eagerly, pushing the memory of those lifeless bodies out of my head. Going outside was a treat. I couldn’t tolerate the sunlight right now. It wouldn’t kill me, but I burned and blistered easily, and the glare made my head ache.
The night was cool and damp. Crickets called raucously as we walked along the sidewalk toward the river. The park was likely to be empty this time of night, and there wouldn’t be many people out on the sidewalks. We passed a man toting a bunch of grocery bags. His eyes met mine as he approached us and his gait slowed. He gave me a smile, as though he were captivated. I averted my gaze, so he wouldn’t see my silver eyes- and so I wouldn’t accidentally draw him to me. We kept walking and I clenched my mouth shut as my fangs elongated. Everything in me wanted to turn around and pin the man to the ground.
Peter squeezed my hand. “Keep walking.” He spoke softly, but it wasn’t a suggestion, it was a command. I let his aura wash over me and kept walking.
We made our way to the empty park, and I stood looking out over the dark river. I took deep, calming breaths of the cool, night-scented air. Finally, when I was in control again, I turned to Peter. “It’s pretty out here at night,” I said sincerely. “I wouldn’t have thought to come here after dark…before.”
He sighed. “I’m sorry,” he said in a flat tone.
I didn’t ask what he meant. “Don’t worry about it,” I replied cheerily. “You’re just keeping people safe.” Peter had created me. He was my master now, and he had the power to command me. I could disobey him, but it would be extremely difficult. I knew he felt guilty about this- and on the surface, it sounded like a really big barrier to our romantic relationship- but he never abused the power. He had only used it on me a few times, and always in order to keep me or the people around me safe.
I took his hand, giving it a squeeze. “I trust you.” I shrugged. “And thanks. I mean, I know you don’t enjoy it either.” This was part of the reason he had refused to turn anyone. He didn’t want the burden of being able to dominate someone’s will, or the responsibility that would come with it if he failed to do so at a crucial moment.
We stood silent, watching the moonlight glint over the black mirror of the river. I took a deep breath. “So what did you discuss with Leah?”
“Coven business.” His answer was just a beat too fast.
“You mean regarding new vampires?” He was worried about me. I knew that I wasn’t what you would call normal, even for a vampire.
He slipped an arm around my waist and drew me against his side. “It will be okay,” he said confidently. “I just worry too much.”
I poked him in the ribs, making him jump. “I’m not supposed to sleep.” He was silent and I poked him again. He made an indignant noise and swatted my hands away. “I’m not supposed to dream either, am I?” I shivered at the remembered horror of my dream.
He ran a hand over my head, smoothing my hair. “It’s not like we come with a rule book, you know.” His voice still sounded distracted, and I wondered if my issues were the only thing bothering him. I had a sneaking suspicion there were other things going on at the coven house. If that was the case, I was being carefully kept out of it because I was too weak- and maybe too unstable- to take part.
I gave him a playful shove and ran to a big willow tree growing near the water. Reaching above my head, I grasped a limb, enjoying the feel of the rough bark against my skin. Every sense was so much stronger now. I felt like I was experiencing everything for the first time. Exerting very little effort, I pulled myself up into the tree. Gracefully folding my legs, I swung forward and back. I contorted myself into a back flip and landed on the limb, balancing on my toes and laughing ecstatically at what I had just done.
Peter came to stand under the tree, where he regarded me with a lopsided grin. “I couldn’t have done that sort of thing when I was new,” he admitted. “Most new vampires take a little bit of time to get used to their new reflexes.”
I shrugged. “So I’m more talented. See, nothing wrong.” But I knew I was slower than him, and I didn’t think that was normal.
He laughed. “I think maybe it’s because of your injury. You had to struggle so hard to move before. Maybe you became… hyper-aware of your body?’
I considered for a moment. It was possible. I had spent years having to concentrate on my every move. At times, I had even had to consciously focus on contracting some muscles while relaxing others- things that a normal person did without thinking about it. “Physically I’m fine,” I said hesitantly, “but all joking aside…my brain is still different, isn’t it?”
He reached up and grasped my branch, levering himself up to sit beside me. “I think you’ll be fine,” he said candidly. “I hate to say this, but … any sort of instability would have shown itself by now.”
I nodded. “Exactly.” When I glanced at Peter’s face in the moonlight, he looked exactly as he had in my dream, a trickle of dried blood on his forehead, and his silver eyes wide and unseeing. I smiled harder and the vision resolved to my normal, mostly living boyfriend. His green eyes were relieved as he returned my smile.
“I’m so glad,” he said, dropping a kiss on my forehead.
*****
I curled up on the couch and tucked my graceful legs under me, pulling my robe closer. Cold wouldn’t hurt me, but I could still appreciate a comfortable temperature. I hugged a throw pillow to my stomach with one arm while I held the phone to my ear with the other. “Oh, Mom,” I said in exasperation. “I can’t stand to have this conversation one more time.”
I rolled my eyes and Peter saw it. He chuckled silently as he set a cup of orange juice on the little table to my left and wandered away. “You are not going to disown me. If you were, you would have done it by now.”
I set the phone down and took a sip of juice while she finished her tirade. I could hear her perfectly fine without holding it to my ear- and my vampire hearing had nothing to do with it. Finally, she slowed down and I picked up the phone again so I could speak into it. “I’m fine Mom,” I said with a small smile. I knew she was just worried. Her and my father had been notified that my lawyer, well Peter’s lawyer actually, had been successful in getting my guardianship lifted. As far as my family knew, I had then jumped a plane to Switzerland for some extremely experimental stem cell treatment, with Peter’s rich family footing the bill. I was supposed to be recovering.
“Look, Mom, I’m sorry,” I said for the hundredth time. “If I told you before hand, you guys would have fought me, and I wanted my life back.” It wasn’t exactly the truth, but it wasn’t a lie either. They would have fought to keep me in their care, but the truth of the matter was that I didn’t have time to plan out my initiation into the world of vampires. I was winging it. It would, of course, be easier for everyone involved if I simply disappeared- faked my death or moved out of the country or something- but I was being stubborn. I refused to abandon my life, and force Peter to abandon his as well, merely for my convenience.
Peter started whistling in the kitchen and I arched an eyebrow. He was unfazed by the fact that we were lying to everyone and my family was threatening to disown me. “It’s amazing,” I told my mother, not entirely lying through my teeth. “I can’t tell you all of the medical details, but I’m already feeling better, stronger, and more coordinated. I should be home in a month or so.”
Peter’s whistling cut off abruptly and I hid a small smile. No way was I waiting as long as he wanted me to. If he had his way, I would be cooped up at his house until next year, at the very least. “Okay, Mom,” I said in response to her admonishment to take care of myself. “Tell Dad I’ll see him soon.” I paused and fought to keep from laughing while she reminded me that I didn’t have a father, or a mother, or a sister. “I don’t care, tell him anyway. I’m not letting you guys disown me. Bye.”
I pushed the end button and stared at the little phone, shaking my head. Peter crossed the room, brining me a buttery roll, all-natural and handmade. I think the vampires might have been behind the recent surge in health conscious whole foods. “So they are getting over it?” His voice was mild, but the corner of his lip quirked up with suppressed laughter.
I rolled my eyes. “Of course not. They’ll hate you for the rest of your life. And I mean your vampire life. We’re good at holding grudges.”
He chuckled. “I’m sure I’ll win them over again. If nothing else, the minute they see you they will forget why they are even mad.”
I stretched, looking down at my legs. “At this point they really could disown me for all I care. I can walk. Hell, I can run.” I grinned up at him and he bent down to plant a soft kiss on my forehead, sharing my elation. The smell of him was electric and my lips parted as my fangs shot out. “Son of a bitch,” I muttered, embarrassed.
Peter laughed and just kept right on invading my space. I pressed the back of my hand to my mouth and glared, fighting the urge to pin him. He only laughed in response. “You said you would be back home in about a month,” he reminded me mildly, a glint in his eyes. “You need to practice control if you want to achieve that kind of ridiculous goal.” He put a knee between my legs and leaned forward, his hands resting on the back of the couch on either side of me.
“I’ll be fine,” I said between clenched teeth. The smell of his skin was wafting to me every time he moved and I started to pant, trying not to breathe through my nose.
He leaned forward to nuzzle at my neck and I shoved him. Hard. He was probably expecting it, but he didn’t resist, falling back to sprawl on the floor like a weak victim. “Oh…” he said in mock helplessness, “that hurt.” He rubbed his hip as if he were injured, his emerald eyes flashing to silver.
I reached for my cup of orange juice. Pressing myself back into the fluffy couch cushions, I brought the drink to my mouth and inhaled the scent of oranges and sunshine. “F*ck off,” I said succinctly. Peter laughed, still refusing to get up off the floor. I took a sip of my juice, almost wincing at how wrong it tasted right now. What I wanted wasn’t fruit.
He raised his eyebrows and gave me a wide-eyed look. “Is there something wrong with your juice?” He sounded oh so concerned. I gave him the finger. He stretched slowly, then rolled over and started doing push-ups, making his heart beat a little faster. A*shole.
I swallowed hard. My mouth was watering. I took another gulp of the juice and almost gagged at the sweet, fruity taste. Peter rolled back over and fanned himself, as if he were all worked up. Like a vampire would be worked up after a few little push-ups. I set the glass down with trembling fingers. “Stop it, you stink,” I said flatly. “It’s disgusting.” His warm, spicy, male scent was going straight to my head. I made a face as if it sickened me.
Smiling, he grabbed the hem of his faded t-shirt and pulled it up over his head. He reclined on the floor, braced on his elbows, waiting. I narrowed my eyes at the self-assured look in his eyes.
He didn’t have to wait long, the jerk. I was pinning him to the floor within seconds.
*****
I opened the door and let Haine in. Technically, I wasn’t allowed to have visitors when Peter wasn’t there. To hell with it, I thought, irritated. The rule was in place to protect my human friends and family. It wasn’t as if I was going to hurt Haine. He was older and stronger, and more than capable of taking care of himself. I didn’t have many friends right now, especially those who knew what I was going through. I needed a non-human friend to talk to.
I wasn’t entirely oblivious to Peter’s reactions to Haine. Jealousy is not a laughing matter among supernatural creatures. It can be a big problem when inhumanly strong people start to argue. If Peter wasn’t here, then he wouldn’t go all alpha male on me. I knew he didn’t doubt my loyalty, but he got over protective any time any vampire was around, let alone one as pretty and powerful as Haine.
He flashed a stunning smile and made himself at home, kicking off his shoes, and hanging his jacket on the hook by the door. “How are you holding up?” His tone was light, but I knew he was serious. I knew he was close to Leah. She had probably sent him to check up on me.
I waved away his concern. “I’m fine, just going stir crazy.”
He reached into the bag he was carrying and brought out a stack of books and movies. “I thought you might like these.”
“Thanks.” I took his gift into the living room, and Haine followed. He arched his eyebrows when he saw the new layout of the room.
“You’ve redecorated…”
I laughed sarcastically. “Someone broke the couch. So we had to get a new one.” I shrugged. So I broke things. Big deal. It was Peter’s fault for provoking me. “Since I don’t have anything better to do, I re-arranged the room.”
Haine laughed, his beautiful voice filling the room with warmth. “I see.”
I sifted through the pile of books, stopping when I found a graphic novel in the mix. “You read this stuff?” I was surprised, as always, to find that the other vampires had as many human quirks as I did.
He ran a hand through his silky hair, embarrassed. “Well…I wasn’t sure what you liked, so…”
He held out his hand to take it back, but I didn’t give it to him. “C’mon. I’ll show you the library.” I led the way to the little guest room that Peter and I had converted to the library. He already had a huge book collection before he took me in, but with me being housebound, it had grown so much it needed its own space.
“This is nice,” Haine said, looking around. Most of the room was floor to ceiling bookshelves, lined with neat rows of books. A massive roll-top desk and computer took up most of one wall. A couple of overstuffed chairs and a footstool were arranged in the middle of the room. I went to my side of the room and pulled out a few slender, hard cover books, replacing them with the ones Haine had brought.
I handed him the books, grinning like a geek. “I’m sure you’ve read both of these series, but these are the newest volumes. I don’t think they’ve been officially released yet.” Peter had pulled some strings.
His fingers curled around the spines as if they were a rare treasure, and he returned my grin. “I don’t have them yet.” He flopped down in one of the chairs and started leafing through one of the graphic novels with the urgency of a fellow geek. I took the other chair and shoved his gigantic feet out of the way to make room for mine on the footstool.
“Peter teases me for reading about fairies.” I had explained to him that they were evil fairies, and thus way cooler than your average Tinkerbell, but he still laughed. “He said I should just watch cartoons if I was going to read picture books like a kid.”
Haine grunted a reply and kept reading. It was warm in the library, and the quiet sounds of sliding paper combined with Haine’s strong aura were comforting. I didn’t mean to doze off.
I snapped awake and stared into big sparkling pools of blue. Haine’s face was inches from my own. “What….” I belatedly realized that I must have fallen asleep. How could I have done something so stupid?
“Melody, are you okay?” My head started to clear and I realized he had been calling my name for a while now. We were on the floor, and he held me in his lap, cradling me in his arms.
I sat up straighter, pulling away from his broad chest. His nearness and the scent of his emotions- fear, and something tender- weren’t doing me any favors.
“I’m sorry,” I said, trying to pull it together. “I didn’t mean to fall asleep.” My voice had dropped, and it came out all sultry. Crap, I was thirsty. I clamped down on my instincts and focused on the fear. Shit, I had just fallen asleep in front of another vampire. I had just revealed a huge weakness. Peter would be pissed.
I slid off his lap, and he let me go, breathing a sigh of relief. “You were just sleeping?” He shook his head and looked down at his hands. “Sleeping…” His eyes met mine and one corner of his mouth turned up in a weak smile. “I thought you were dying or something. I’ve never seen a vampire do that. It never even occurred to me you were…just sleeping.” He laughed.
I nodded. “I’m sorry I scared you.”
He was still shaking his head. “So you’re really okay?” I nodded, and his expression grew serious. “I won’t tell anyone else, if I can help it.” He looked uncomfortable, and I thought I sensed anger.
I took a deep breath. “Thanks. I would appreciate it if you didn’t.” I leaned forward and put my head in my hands. “God, I’m so bad at this!” At being a vampire.
Haine patted my back. “Don’t sweat it.” As usual, his kindness made me cry. I couldn’t show all this weakness and fear to Peter because he would only feel guilty, but with Haine, it didn’t matter. Sensing my mood, he slipped his arm around me, drawing me close to his side.
“I just…” I said tearfully, “…something’s not right with me.” I turned to look up at him. “Haine, I have these dreams…”
He sat up and pulled away, cutting me off. “Don’t.” His voice was cold. I stared up at him in surprise and he grimaced. “Don’t tell me your weaknesses,” he said softly. “I shouldn’t know what they are.”
I sniffed and sat up straighter. “That’s just the thing,” I said desperately. “I don’t think they are weaknesses, I think I’m different. I think I have…”
He cut me off again, taking my hands, his voice pleading. “Don’t tell me that either- don’t tell me your strengths.” He pulled me to him in a crushing hug, as if he could keep me together just by sheer strength alone.
His desperate reaction was scaring me, so I made a huge effort and pulled myself together. “I can’t breathe,” I gasped, jokingly.
“You don’t have to.” Haine squeezed me tighter for a minute, but I knew he was only teasing. He let me go and stood, bending to offer me his hands. I took them, letting him pull me to my feet.
“I’m sorry,” he said calmly. “I overreacted. You just startled me.”
I waved away his concern. “I’m sorry.” I shrugged, feeling awkward. “I don’t want to burden Peter by letting him know that I’m struggling. So I unloaded on you.”
Haine ruffled my hair. “You should tell Peter what is bothering you. If he doesn’t know, then he can’t protect you.”
I crossed my arms and gave him a mutinous look. “I don’t want to have to be protected.”
He sighed. “You really have no understanding of what it means to be a man.”
I frowned at up at him, thinking chivalrous looked good on him. But that didn’t mean I wanted Peter to act that way. “This is not the eighteenth century. I am not a damsel in distress.”
Haine scooped up his borrowed books from the floor, where they had fallen when he snatched me out of my chair. “It doesn’t matter. When you love someone with all your heart, you will do anything to protect them.” He held up a hand to stall my protests. “I know it sounds cheesy, but it’s true.” He gave me a sad look, and I wondered who it was that he loved so desperately, but couldn’t protect. “Put yourself in his shoes for a minute. If it were Peter struggling, would you want to be completely oblivious to his hardship?”
I gave him a look, but didn’t say anything. “Besides, you are vulnerable. If he doesn’t know just what is going on, then he might be unable to help you at a crucial moment. He’s already been responsible for your death once. Don’t make him go through it again, for real this time. Like it or not, you need a protector.”
I felt chastised. “Fine,” I grumped. “But look at how you reacted when I tried to tell you!’”
His whole manner changed. Suddenly he went from treasured and loving friend, to cold and distant monster. “I’m serious, Melody.” His voice was so soft a human wouldn’t have been able to hear him. “Never, ever, speak to me again about your abilities or lack thereof.” His eyes met mine and I felt a bit of compulsion behind his words. “Never.”
I shivered a bit and dropped my gaze. “Fine.” Geez, what an a*shole. Apparently, I had violated some kind of unspoken vampire rule.
He ruffled my hair again, and his voice returned to normal. “Thanks for the books. I can’t wait to read them.” His smile was back in place and all hint of power was gone. I saw him out, then locked the door, and vowed not to open it again for anyone.