Surviving Raine

Collapsing onto her, I released panted breaths against her throat. The fingers wrapped around my shoulders slid upwards and into my hair, holding my head tight against her skin. I kept my grip on her until my breathing started to slow and the intensity of what I was feeling began to ebb, but not disappear. Still, I held her tight against me, afraid if I moved too much I would slip out, and I wanted to stay exactly where I was. Maybe forever. I wondered how she would feel about that.

“I’m staying here,” I said into her ear as I pushed with my hips. Raine let out a short laugh and wriggled her backside a little.

“I’m okay with that,” she responded. “You feel so good there. I honestly didn’t think you were going to fit!”

“I’m really glad I do,” I said, “because I’m staying right here for as long as possible.”

I started kissing her throat, then her jaw, and finally her lips. Before long, I started moving in and out of her again, the slickness from ejaculating inside of her allowing me to move easily even though I wasn’t really hard anymore. I released her lips and moved down to her breasts, sucking each nipple into my mouth in turn while my hand took care of the other one. It didn’t take long before I was hard again and thrusting into her faster, listening to her moans and bringing her back to the brink of bliss.

She screamed out my name, and I couldn’t hold back anymore. If anything, the second orgasm inside of her was even better than the first. I wouldn’t have thought it possible. Afterwards, I still wasn’t interested in pulling out, so I maneuvered my hands between her ass and the sand, pulled her against me, and rolled so she was lying on my chest, but I stayed inside of her.

We didn’t speak or move for the longest time. Much like after telling her shit about my life, I wasn’t sure how I felt at that point. I knew I wanted this – I wanted her to lie on top of me for the rest of forever. I wanted to hold her and keep myself right where I was until I got hard again. Then I could start all over. Of course, that wasn’t really an option, and eventually Raine mumbled that she needed to get up, and I had to relinquish my hold.

We walked to the water by starlight, washed off in silence, and then walked back to the shelter. I lay down first and opened my arms for her to curl up next to me. Once she lay down, I felt her shiver from her wet, naked skin. I grabbed the blanket-towels from the raft and wrapped them around her, using both those and my body heat to keep her warm.

Raine let out a soft sigh, and I listened to her breathing regulate. The backs of my fingers stroked over her cheekbone, and I could see the corner of her mouth twitch in the moonlight. She was so beautiful, it was almost painful to watch. I felt her body relax against my chest and knew she was asleep. For a while I lay there, looking down at the beautiful woman in my arms trying to sort all this out in my head. I sighed and looked up to the roof of the shelter.

“I don’t understand this,” I said softly. “I wanted to fuck you that first night on the raft, but that was just because I wanted to get off and you were there. I still want to fuck you, but the reasons are all different. I’ve never felt like this after sleeping with someone…or during it…shit. This didn’t feel like I was fucking you…it was something else. I don’t know what it is. I want to be with you, and touch you, and hold you. I have this overwhelming desire to protect you and make sure you’re safe. Every time I look at you, it’s like my chest gets crushed, and I just want to stare at you and hold on to you and tell you everything is going to be all right. I don’t know what this is, Raine. I don’t understand what you’re doing to me.”

I felt her fingers against my jaw and glanced down into her opened eyes. Fuck. She hadn’t been asleep after all. Her mouth turned up into a beautiful smile, and her response ended me.

“I love you too, Bastian.”

Her words coated me like warm caramel, and I was immediately wrapped in the meaning behind her short, simple, insanely complex sentence. She had a name for what I was feeling even when I did not. I had thought what I felt for Jillian was love, but it was nothing compared to what I felt for Raine. I would do anything to guarantee her safety, and I would do anything to make whatever this was between us continue for as long as possible. I wanted to be with her, next to her, under her, on top of her, beside her, inside her – I wanted everything with her.

“Is that what this is?” I choked out, the sudden emotion of it hitting me square in the chest. If I hadn’t already been horizontal, I’m sure I would have fallen over.

“That’s what this is, Bastian.” Her hand slipped back down to my shoulder, and her eyes closed again.

For the first time in my life, I felt like I was where I was supposed to be and doing what I should be doing. I was complete when we joined, and the reason for my existence was suddenly revealed to me – I was here to save her and to love her.

“I love you,” I said simply and felt her smiling lips press once more against my chest before she fell into sleep.

*

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