“Wasn’t me,” I denied. “I didn’t even touch you.”
She laughed and wrapped her arms around my shoulders to pull me down to her. We kissed again before she took a deep breath, let it out slowly, and guided my head to her shoulder. I stayed there for a while, but the sight of her breasts with their nipples still standing upright and visible through the shirt she wore was driving me insane. I sat up and lowered my head back down on her stomach. Granted, in this position I was closer to the Taj Mahal of existence, according to my cock, but it didn’t bother me as much. Besides, I liked it there; I could still smell her orgasm.
Just since that morning, my cheek lying against Raine’s stomach had become my favorite place to be. I could hear her steady heart beat from there. I could wrap my arm up her side and around her shoulder and touch her cheek if I wanted to, and most of all, Raine had easy access to my hair, which she played with while I closed my eyes and felt nearly peaceful.
If I managed to find more edible food and could call on the weather gods to make it rain every three days or so, I would have been perfectly happy staying right where I was for the rest of our natural lives. I wondered how Raine would feel about that and remembered I still owed her something else.
“I guess I’m obligated to tell you another story now,” I said and immediately wished I hadn’t. What was I going to say? I couldn’t talk about her. It wasn’t going to be possible.
“You don’t have to tell me, Bastian,” Raine said. Her fingers continued to trace patterns on my scalp. When she ran her fingers through the strands, it took longer than it should have for her to reach the ends. I needed a haircut. And a shave. And a shower. Probably a dozen other things, too.
“We made a deal,” I reminded her. “I still think it was a shitty deal from my end, but I never back out on a deal.”
“I told you…”
“Actually, I have to take that back,” I interrupted. I was undoubtedly stalling. “I’ve skipped out on many deals, really. Part of the game – form an alliance, and as soon as their back is turned – take them out.”
“That doesn’t sound very sporting.”
“It’s not like there was a ref looking for unsportsmanlike behavior,” I said. “Kill or be killed. If I hadn’t fucked over those people, you would be dead now.”
“I can’t argue with that,” Raine said, her voice both soft and hard at the same time. I figured now would be an excellent time to stop talking, so I listened to her heartbeat, located just a little above my ear. My fingers grazed her hip, and I stared blankly across the length of the raft.
Raine was going to let me off the hook, which was a damn good thing. I wasn’t about to talk about the five months I was with her. It was kind of ridiculous, really. How could I talk about it when I couldn’t say – or even think – her name?
I focused on more pleasant things, like the look on Raine’s gorgeous face when she tilted her head back and came all over her fingers, whimpering my name. I thought about what her fingers tasted like when I licked them afterwards.
I wanted her, and not just as a warm body to get my rocks off. I liked having her close to me like this – touching my hair and just running her hands over me even when we weren’t really doing anything. I most certainly wanted her, but how could I even think about it after what had happened the first and only time I had ever let anyone get to me? No, I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t let her in for one major reason at least – I’d have to tell her about what happened before, and there was no way in hell I was going to do that.
“I met Jillian after a tournament.”
Fuck my mouth.
I guess I was going to talk after all.
Chapter 10 - Baby
“You don’t have to tell me.” Raine’s voice was low and soft.
“Yeah,” I said. “I think I do.”
“Not because you feel like you owe it to me,” Raine clarified. Her fingers pushed my hair behind my ear before running down my jaw line. If she kept that up, maybe I would be able to get through this. “I don’t have to know.”
“I want you to know,” I said.
“All right,” Raine said after a moment. “If it’s what you want.”
I nodded and wrapped my arm a little tighter around her waist. Raine’s fingers kept repeating their motions from behind my ear, down my jaw, and back again, setting a slow, gentle pace while I talked.