“I’m sorry…I’m just...fuck! I want to behave like a dick and didn’t want to be around you when I was feeling like that.”
Raine regarded me cautiously and then took a few steps closer to me again, sitting herself down in the sand a few feet away. It hurt that she didn’t want to come close to me, but I could hardly blame her.
“What’s wrong?” she asked again.
“How do you know anything’s wrong?” I responded, like it wasn’t fucking obvious.
“You want to know what my first hint was, or do you want the whole list?”
“Surprise me.”
“You have had nine of those things,” Raine pointed to the butt end of the cigarette lying in the sand, “since breakfast, not six, and I’m pretty sure you smoked a couple of them when you woke up in the middle of the night, so those count, too. You haven’t bothered to shave for three days, which isn’t all that abnormal, but you’re usually champing at the bit to shave me at least every other day. That brings me to the biggest clue – you haven’t made a move on me since the night before last. You went from trying to molest me fifteen times a day to nothing in over twenty-four hours. Now will you tell me what’s wrong?”
“Same old shit,” I mumbled. I dropped my forehead down into my hands. “I figured you were sick of hearing all of it.”
“Did you have a nightmare last night?” Raine asked gently.
“Yeah.”
“Which one?”
“A new one,” I admitted. I rubbed my knuckles into my eyes and then left my eyes covered up.
“Can you tell me about it?”
“Not yet.”
“All right.”
One of the five million things I loved about Raine – she had finally figured out when not to press. I had gotten around to telling her most everything anyway, and she seemed to know she’d get to hear it all eventually. Sometimes it was just too hard, too raw. I couldn’t talk about it then, and she understood when I couldn’t. I heard her footsteps on the sand and felt her kneel down next to me. Her hands went around my head, and she held me against her chest.
“Whatever it is,” she whispered against my cheek, “we’ll work it out together when you’re ready to tell me.”
“I don’t fucking deserve you,” I said softly.
“Yes, you do.”
I sighed, having no more energy to argue with her about it.
“Just…let me be for a while, okay?” I pleaded. “I’ll come back in a couple hours, and I swear I’ll remember the fucking mussels.”
“If that’s what you need.”
“That’s what I need,” I assured her.
Raine kissed me softly on the cheek and stood, running her fingers through my hair briefly before she turned to go. I closed my eyes again after she was out of sight behind the rocks and wondered what the fuck I did right in my life to have ended up in her presence. Raine was my life, my saving angel. I owed her something for everything she did for me, but what could I possibly do to make things better for her? I couldn’t provide her with her friends or her home. I couldn’t manufacture a wider variety of food, and I couldn’t take her to a hotel with a fucking Jacuzzi in the room.
I laughed out loud, and a wide smile crept over my face. There was something I could do for her, and I knew exactly how I would do it. I twisted around, looked up above me at the largest rock in the grouping, and immediately saw exactly what I needed. I was so fucking pleased with myself, I collected a bunch more mussels, a couple of crabs, and even shaved before I headed back. Shaving myself had definitely primed me for wanting to shave her, and I was certainly going to use that to make up for the last day and a half of not making her come.
*
“Hey, Raine!” I called and waved my arm around in the air when she looked up at me. “I’ve got something for you.”
I had a huge fucking grin on my face, and when she walked over to me, her eyes held suspicion. Chuckling softly, I took her hand and led her over to the tidal pool where I had set up my little…invention. I leaned over and whispered in her ear.
“Take your clothes off, baby.”
“Again?” she smirked. “At some point, you have to give me a minute to recuperate. I was just going to wash off…”
“I know,” I replied with another goofy grin. “Just take your fucking clothes off, baby. I’ll leave my shorts on if you think that will make you more comfortable.”
She rolled her eyes and shook her head but started undressing for me anyway. I told my cock to stop paying attention, but he didn’t listen, as usual.
Once she was undressed, I told her to close her eyes for a minute. She sighed heavily and grumbled at me, but did as I had asked. I took her hand and led her back behind the largest rock.
“Keep your eyes closed, baby.”