She meant it. My mother loved me. She'd been a good wife to this monster, but that didn't mean she denied the love for her kids. I missed her every day that I was gone. I'd missed my sisters, too. I regretted leaving for their sake, but living with him was going to be so hard. I didn't really want anything to do with him, even now. That man totally repulsed me. But I knew that was impossible.
"I called, Mom. I did." I said it again, my lip quivering. I just wanted her to hold me and tell me everything was going to be okay, but instead, my father grabbed me by my arm and pulled me away from her, his grip so tight on my already bruised shoulder that I almost screamed.
I just grunted and looked at him, though. I wouldn't give him the satisfaction.
"I'm glad you did, daughter." That fake smile told me everything I needed to know. "Our family didn't want to miss this moment."
I'd spent my entire life trying to read my father, trying to understand his moods. It was a delicate game, one that my mother was adept at. But me, I was never that great.
Still, I could tell just by looking at him that he was smug. Angry. And it was all directed at me. I was going to hear about this later.
Any congratulations that went to my brother and Janson for bringing me home was going to be chewed out of my hide when he got the chance. My freedom was over.
But I had to make the choice. I had to do this. It was the opportunity here and now to make my way back into the family with as little anger as possible.
My hope was that he would recognize that I'd made the right call and told him of the birth of his grandchild.
We all stood in awkward silence.
Greyson came through the door, his smile huge as he looked at his family.
"I have a beautiful daughter," he said. He was glowing, and all the stress that had been dragging him down since I first saw him seemed to melt right off. "She's six pounds, three ounces and absolutely perfect."
My father let go of me and walked over to him, grabbing a cigar from his coat pocket. "For you, Dad. You've possibly just solidified peace between the families."
It was probably the most tender thing my father had ever done, and it didn't change my mind about him at all. He gave zero shits about that baby, instead caring only about what it represented.
He'd rather kill that baby than take any blame for his actions. I knew my father. We were all just pawns for his little world, and right now, his granddaughter meant a political gain and nothing more.
Peace. That was all that man cared about. Not his own granddaughter.
"She's beautiful. They said you could come see her. Joanna is resting, but she is comfortable," Greyson said.
Everyone started walking towards the maze of rooms except for me and Janson. I wasn't ready to meet my niece. Not yet.
"Are you coming?" my mother asked, looking expectant. I bit my lip and thought up the best excuse I could up with.
"Why don't you and father meet her first? I don't want to overwhelm Joanna," I explained.
Janson also hung back.
Everyone accepted this explanation and continued down the hall.
"Scary, isn't it?" Janson asked, his voice husky as he looked into my eyes. "The idea that you could create a new life. Helpless and so tiny."
"Me?" I asked as I swallowed. Hard.
"Anyone. You, me. Us." His eyes flickered, and I couldn't help but blush. It was like he was trying to tell me something.
Like he was hoping for it.
"I can't even imagine what that must be like," I admitted.
"Can't you?" he said again, his deep rumble so warm, so serious, that it pulled me right out of my own thoughts.
Did he want a baby? He was in his mid-thirties. Maybe that was what he was after.
I gulped in some air. Was he trying to tell me something?
"I don't know that I'm ready," I started, but he held up a hand.
"I don't know if anyone is ever ready. It's just a thought that passed through my mind." I could see the predator in his eyes, and I knew that he was up to something, but I had no idea what.
I couldn't even ask.
Chapter Fourteen
Janson
All the shit from my past stirred up around me as I fought my way out of that f*ck
ing dream.
“Kat.” It was the one name that pulled me out, the one thing that kept me from these damn recurring nightmares.
I needed to touch her.
I reached for her, but she wasn’t there. I called her name, just on the edge of consciousness one more time.
“Kat,” I moaned.
The nightmares were back. I was just a little boy in my bedroom as my father came in. He started with the belt, always the belt. The beatings used to leave me unable to do anything but cry. When that wasn’t enough for him, he’d put his cigar or cigarette out in my back. Even now, I remembered the smell of my charred flesh. My nightmares were back.
Nightmares that I’d thought were gone for good.
Because they were, as long as I held Kathryn.
But she was gone. Back to her parents’ house, back to a world that she already ran from. I knew Greyson would be busy with his daughter and I was totally alone.
It was a feeling I used to relish. An empty house, cool sheets, no one there to tell me how to act or what to do. No one to see me scared. Yeah, I used to like it, but not anymore.
Everything was empty without her.
“f*ck