Tempest laughed. "Five bucks, buddy," she said. "And I don't take IOUs."
Crossing the room, I picked up the remote and pressed the play button, starting the movie, some romantic comedy Tempest had picked. Pulling her to her feet, I slid in behind her on the oversized armchair and pulled her down on my lap, her feet hanging over the armrests. "Can I pay you in sex?" I asked.
Tempest arched one eyebrow. "Five bucks? You're a cheap lay."
"I never said I wasn't," I said, digging my hand into the bag of popcorn now resting on her lap. I purposely dropped some pieces down the front of her chest, covered in the thin fabric of one of my cotton t-shirts she was wearing. "Oops. I guess I'll have to retrieve that."
Tempest laughed as she swatted my hands away from her breasts. "You're terrible," she said.
"By terrible, you obviously mean hot and sexy," I said, grabbing a handful of boob. She giggled and swatted me away, distracted by the movie.
"This is River, isn't it?" she asked, pointing toward the actress on the screen.
"Yeah, that's her," I said.
"She's gorgeous."
“Can you believe my fucking brother is with her?” I asked.
“I can,” Tempest said, giving me a wicked grin. “A guy that hot? I’d do him.”
I ran my hand over her breast again. “You better not,” I said. “These are mine.”
Tempest laughed. “Don’t worry,” she said. “You’re the better looking twin.”
“I’m going to have to watch leaving you alone with him," I said, shaking my head. "She moved back here with him and everything, completely walked away from Hollywood."
Tempest pulled herself upright on my lap and turned toward me. "Do you think people can really do that?"
"Do what?" I asked, but I already knew what she was talking about. I just wanted to hear her say it. I wanted to know she was thinking about me and her.
The truth was, I fucking knew what I wanted.
I'd known since I was seventeen years old. And being back here with her, pushing the pause button on the outside world, was only confirming everything I felt.
"Do you think it's possible to just leave everything behind?" she asked. "The way River did for Elias?"
"Isn't that what you do?" I asked.
She shook her head. "I don’t understand,” she said. “What do you mean?"
"The woman with a thousand identities is asking me if it's possible to reinvent yourself?" I asked.
She exhaled heavily. "That's not the same thing," she said.
"No, it's not." I took a strand of hair from where it fell in front of her eyes and tucked it behind her ear. "It's easy to just take a new identity. It's a lot harder to come back home. Reinventing yourself and becoming someone else is simple. Owning who you are, that's the hard thing, Tempest."
She looked at me for a long time with soft eyes, before she spoke again. "I've never had a home, Silas."
"I'm not talking about a place, Tempest," I said. "My parents-you already know how they were. My father was a drunk asshole and my mother was...well, she tried her best to get between you and I back then, to stop anything else that might have happened between us. And most everybody in this town thought my brothers and I were the white trash spawn of my no-good parents."
"But you came back here," she said. "You still feel like this place is your home."
"No," I said, shaking my head. "You know that's not what I'm talking about, Tempest. It's not this place."
She trailed her finger along my shoulder for a while, following it with her eyes, before she finally looked up at me. "West Bend is the only place I'd ever been where I felt like I belonged," she said.
Exhaling heavily, I wrapped my hand around her wrist gently, stopping her from distracting herself by touching me. "You are the reason this place felt like home, Tempest."
"I get...restless," she said, shaking her head. "I've never stayed in one place."
I kissed her on the lips, sliding my hand back to the nape of her neck and pulling her to me. I wanted this girl more than I'd ever wanted anything in my life.
Closing my eyes, I inhaled deeply the familiar scent of her. I wanted to drink her in.
I wanted to love her.
I just wasn’t sure if she’d let me.
I lay on my stomach in Silas' bed, wearing his t-shirt and nothing else, kicking my feet up in the air behind me. Silas and I had decided to press the pause button on everything outside of this place.
I'd never done something like this before.
I wasn't sure I could.
When I'd said I had to go back to the little bed and breakfast where I'd been staying, I was sure that Silas thought I was taking off permanently. He'd kissed me long and hard, his hands trailing up my back and through my hair, the kind of kiss you have with someone when they're leaving and you're never going to see them again.
It was the kind of kiss you leave someone with, hoping that will be the last thing they remember about you.
On the entire ride over to the bed and breakfast, I thought about how easy it would be to just leave, ride off on my bike into the sunset and forget about Silas.