“It’s not true, Caleb. Felipe is a liar,” Rafiq whispered.
Caleb shut his eyes and wiped at his face again. He unexpectedly laughed. “You’re late. And unconvincing. But thank you, for trying.”
“I raised you,” Rafiq implored.
“You did,” Caleb nodded. “I think that’s what makes your betrayal so much worse. I worshipped you as a boy. You were my savior.”
“I treated you well, Caleb. I gave you everything your heart desired.” There was sincerity in Rafiq’s words.
“I always wondered why you came for me. At first, I thought you took pity because of what Narweh had done. I thought you rescued me because you were too late to save your sister. Felipe tells me you killed her…and your mother. Is that true?”
Rafiq turned his face away. “You don’t know about the things you’re saying,” he grated.
“Explain it to me, then. You’re about to die. Unburden your soul,” Caleb said numbly.
Rafiq took a deep breath and released it slowly. “And my wife and children? What’s to become of them?”
Caleb felt nothing. “Will your sons come after me?”
“They’re too young for that, Caleb.”
“I was about their age the first time I killed. Even younger when….” He couldn’t continue.
“They’re not like us. Swear to me you’ll leave them alone and I’ll tell you what you want to know.” Rafiq turned his head and looked at Caleb.
He nodded. “I swear it.”
Rafiq also nodded. Tears swam in his eyes. “Thank you, Caleb.” Rafiq turned his gaze toward the ceiling. “I know you won’t believe me, but I have always regretted what happened to you. I was in pain and I…. I tried to make it up to you.”
Caleb felt a rush of hot tears, but managed to scoff. “As if anything could make up for what was done to me! You know! You know what they put me through, the pretty American boy who everyone called Dog.” Caleb picked up the knife and stabbed it into Rafiq’s thigh and twisted the blade.
“Caleb!” Rafiq shouted. “Please!”
“Yes! Please! That’s how I begged, too. I said it so much, Narweh used to taunt me with the word.”
“I gave you vengeance!”
“Vengeance will never undo what was done! Your betrayal is worse than anything Narweh ever did. He never betrayed me. He raped my body, but you…. You, I loved.”
Rafiq was delirious with pain and blood loss. “Khoya,” he croaked, “I’m sorry.”
“It’s too late, Rafiq. Much, much, too late.”
Rafiq shook his head, “Vladek is a monster. He ruined my beloved A’noud. He turned her against me. My father had died and my sister was carrying Vladek’s bastard! I was sick with grief. We fought and my mother got in the middle. I never meant to hurt them. They were my life! Vladek took them from me!”
“You killed them! You are responsible!” Caleb pulled the knife from Rafiq’s thigh and listened to him weep. Caleb had never seen Rafiq cry and it did things to him he did not expect. He wanted to feel nothing but hatred, but he couldn’t.
Caleb had done things too. He had killed and tortured. He had sold women into the very life he condemned Rafiq for thrusting him into. Caleb was no better than Rafiq. He deserved no better. Caleb had told Livvie he was sorry for what he’d done. He had meant it, but his apology could no more erase his actions, than Rafiq could erase the past.
If Livvie could show forgiveness, Caleb could try.
Caleb got up on his knees and put his hands on Rafiq’s face and turned his head toward him. Rafiq met his gaze and Caleb saw sorrow and perhaps, remorse. Caleb leaned down and kissed Rafiq on both cheeks before he looked at him steadily in the eyes. “I forgive you,” he whispered.
Rafiq smiled weakly and shut his eyes.
Caleb slowly reached back for his gun and shot Rafiq in the heart.
Afterward, he washed Rafiq’s body. He removed errant blood and dressed his wounds with strips of cotton sheets. He wept as he wrapped the body tightly.
With great difficulty, he carried him out toward one of Felipe’s gardens and buried the only family he had ever known.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Day 11: 5am
“Are you hurt?” Caleb whispers. His blond brows are creased in concern. I’ve never seen him look like this. He’s so happy, at ease.
I reach up and caress his beautiful face. “I’m okay.”
He swipes at my eyes, “Then why are you crying?”
“I don’t know,” I say and continue to run my hand across his face. “I think I’m just happy.”
He smiles, “Strange response to happiness, but okay.” He leans down and I feel him lick one of my tears.
I squirm, “What are you doing?” I laugh.
“I was curious,” he whispers very seriously.
“About what?”
“If happy tears taste the same as the sad ones,” he says.
His words make me cry even harder. I can’t control them. I’m just so overwhelmed with everything. “And?” I manage.
“I think they’re sweeter,” he says and kisses me, “but it could just be your face.” We dissolve into peals of laughter.
I hear voices.