Seduced by Fire

NINE




Daniel wasn’t surprised when Cole found him in his office hours later. The house was empty and quiet, all the group members having left, showing themselves out. Or maybe Cole had done it. Daniel wasn’t sure. He swirled the scotch in his glass. He wasn’t sure he cared.

“Knock. Knock,” Cole said, stepping inside the office.

“Go away.”

“No. It’s been three hours and that’s your limit. One hour to sulk, one to jog, one to think.”

“It wasn’t a normal scene.” Daniel took a sip of scotch.

“Which is why I allowed you to sit in here and drink. Now it’s time to talk.”

“F*ck you, Cole.”

“You know he deserved every lash you gave him and then some.”

Daniel snorted.

“Just what I thought,” Cole said. “This isn’t about Peter.”

“Of course it is. It’s his damn fault. If it weren’t for him, I’d still have her.”

Cole poured himself a glass of scotch and sat down in the chair facing Daniel’s desk. “I don’t think so. If it wasn’t Peter, it would have been something else. She’s second-guessing, but she’ll eventually find her way back.”

Daniel shook his head. “You didn’t see the look she gave me. Like I was a monster.”

“That look wasn’t for you. It was for Peter.”

“Bullwhip is a hard limit for her.”

“Did you give her the option to leave?”

Daniel nodded.

“Then it was her choice to stay.”

The room was silent for several long minutes. Daniel swirled his drink, watching as the faint light bounced off the glass.

“Do you ever wish you weren’t a Dom?” Daniel asked.

“No, but sometimes I wish I wanted kids.”

“Not the same.”

“Exactly the same. You can’t help being a Dom any more than I can help not wanting kids. It’s woven into our being.” Cole downed his scotch and took Daniel’s glass, set it on the far end of the desk. “Know who else has this problem?”

“Every damn person here tonight.”

“Every damn person,” Cole repeated. “Including one confused submissive.”

“She was confused when she arrived tonight. Now she’s scared. Confused I can deal with. Scared is something else entirely.”

“You can deal with scared, too. Trust me, it’s best she works through all this now, because when she does, she’ll be yours one hundred percent.”

It was too much to hope for, too outlandish to imagine. Daniel pushed his chair back and opened the bottom drawer. He put the plain white box he took out on top of his desk. “Open it.”

Cole didn’t look like he wanted to open it, but he pulled the box to his side of the desk and opened it with a resolved sigh. He stared at the contents for several long minutes.

“It’s been two years?” Cole finally asked.

“Julie and I had a conversation before all this happened with Sasha. She wanted to wear a red bracelet to the group meeting. I explained that would label her as my submissive. She didn’t care.” Daniel nodded to the box. “I had that commissioned the next day. It arrived this afternoon.”

The “that” in question was a platinum choker made of two delicately woven bands, one of which had diamonds running its entire length. On the clasp was a tag engraved with “Master Daniel’s kitten” on one side and “Beloved” on the other. The collar fastened with a lock, worked by the key also in the box. “Kitten’s Master,” the key had on one side. The other side was blank in the hopes Julie would have her own words added.

“That’s quite a collar,” Cole said.


“She’s quite a woman.”

“She didn’t know you were going to offer it to her?”

“I was going to surprise her.”

Without saying a word, Cole got up and poured Daniel another glass of scotch.

? ? ?

For the next five days, Daniel put off doing what he knew he had to do. Perhaps, he thought, part of him hoped Cole had been right and Julie would come around. As the days went by, though, and she didn’t take his calls or return his messages, he knew he had to take the next step.

He had to set her free.

She looked surprised when she saw him at her door, but she opened it and let him inside. Dena had told him Sasha had moved back to her own place over the past weekend.

“How’s Sasha?” he asked anyway.

“Good. She came back to work on Monday.” She nodded toward the couch, but he shook his head.

“I’m glad she’s recovering well.”

“Dena’s been by a few times. It helps Sasha to talk to her. Are you sure you don’t want to sit?”

“I’m fine standing. How are you doing?”

She glanced at him and then looked to the floor. “You told me once to be honest, so that’s what I’m going to do. I’m scared. I know I’m a submissive, but I don’t know what to do with it.”

Just as he expected. “I can understand you’re scared, but what I don’t understand is why you’re avoiding me.”

She looked up, blinking back tears. “Because I look at you and I get all confused. I make up my mind to do one thing, but I look at you and second-guess myself.”

It took all his strength not to touch her, to gently stroke her cheek and tell her it’d be okay. But that would be a lie and he never lied.

“I need you to remember two things,” he said. “If you forget everything else I say today, I need you to remember this: my feelings for you run deep and strong and true. Second, having you give me your submission means more to me than I can express with mere words and I am honored you trusted me with it for a time.”

“For a time?” Her forehead wrinkled. “I don’t understand.”

“I’ve been waiting for you to decide what you wanted, but you can’t seem to figure it out. That tells me you’re not ready.”

“What?”

“I’m deciding for you,” he said, crossing his arms. “It’s over, Julie.”

She sank into the couch. “You’re breaking up with me?”

“I’m doing the best thing I can for you. I’m setting you free.”

“It feels like the same thing.”

It felt like metal bars encircled his heart. Sitting on the couch, she looked so small and fragile. He wanted nothing more than to sit beside her and take her into his arms. He was supposed to be her protector, not the one to cause her more pain.

“I know it does,” he said. “Believe me when I say I’d rather cut my own arm off than hurt you in any way, but this is the only option that makes sense. The only option that allows you the type of safety you feel you need.”

“Safety I feel I need?”

He sat beside her so they could talk on the same level. “You’re a submissive. You will never feel safer than when you’re under a Dominant’s control.”

She wiped her eyes. “How can you say that with what happened to Sasha? She wasn’t safe with Peter.”

“We’re not talking about Sasha. We’re talking about you.”

“That’s semantics.”

“It’s not semantics, Julie, and you’re forgetting one very important difference.”

“What’s that?”

“I’m not Peter.”

Her breath caught and he gave her a sad smile. He should feel insulted she thought for one second he could ever treat her the way Peter had treated Sasha. Instead, he just felt sad. Sad she let her fear rule her. Sad she didn’t fight him. And sad for the fact that everything they could have been together was slipping through his fingers.

“I know you’re not Peter.”

He wondered if her words sounded as empty to her as they did to him.

“We both know that’s not the truth or else we wouldn’t be having this conversation.” He stood up, suddenly tired. “Good-bye, Julie.”

? ? ?

Julie went to work the next day, but she was only going through the motions. Inside she felt like a robot. A windup robot, threatening to run down at any second. Her feet were like lead and it took too much energy to function. Sasha was still too wrapped up mentally in her own thoughts to notice, but when Dena stopped by to bring lunch, Julie moaned. There was no way she could hide what had happened from the sharp-eyed woman.

“I brought sushi,” Dena called, gliding through the store, carrying bags into the break room in the back.

“Not really hungry,” Sasha said.

“Me either,” Julie echoed.

“You, too, Julie?” Dena stuck her head out of the break room door. “You’re supposed to be on my side.”

“I’m just not hungry, is that a crime?” She tried to make her voice sound as normal as possible, but it broke at the end.

“You okay?” Dena asked, stepping into the main room, her teasing gone.

Even Sasha looked her way.

Julie gripped the back of the chair in front of her. They were going to find out anyway. The normal group meeting was being held Thursday night. When she didn’t show up, Dena would know something had happened. Wouldn’t it be best if she heard it from her? If she heard it from Julie, maybe there wouldn’t be any gossip. Daniel deserved more than to be relegated to gossip fodder.

Julie took a deep breath. “Daniel broke up with me yesterday.”

They both spoke at once.

“He did?”

“Oh, Jules.”

“It’s okay,” Julie said, blinking back new tears. “It’s like he said, it’s for the best. It’s the best option for me.”

Dena rolled her eyes. “Ugh. I hate it when they get all Dom and decide what’s best for us. Hello? I have a mind.”

“But part of me thinks he’s spot-on. I was being all wishy-washy. And he was right to step in. That’s just being a good Dom.” She looked to where the two other women stood. “Right?”

The corner of Sasha’s mouth lifted. “Count me out on judging someone as a good Dom.”

Dena put an arm around the petite woman. “We all mess up. Don’t let it get to you.” She looked up at Julie. “You either.”

“It’s not so much letting it get to me.” She nodded. “It’s accepting Daniel was right. He is who he is and he accepts it. I am what I am and I choose not to act on it. That makes us incompatible.”

She glanced over at Sasha, who was still embraced by the tall, willowy blonde. Her friend had told her the day Daniel walked into the shop that they weren’t compatible. Even looking back, though, she wasn’t sure if she was happy or sad she went against Sasha’s advice.

In dating Daniel, she’d learned things about herself she’d never imagined. She’d met an incredible man. And, if she was totally honest, she’d admit that she had fallen in love with that incredible man. No, she decided, in looking back, she knew she couldn’t allow herself to be sad with her choice to have a relationship with him. She could only allow sadness at how it ended. That it ended at all.


“I’m free now,” Julie said. “That’s important.”

Dena removed her arm from Sasha’s shoulder and walked back into the break room, without saying anything. Julie had the strangest suspicion she’d said the wrong thing and followed her.

“Did I say something to upset you?” she asked, watching while Dena went around the table setting up for lunch.

“I’m sorry.” Dena placed the chopsticks down and took a deep breath. “I just don’t know if you’re ready to hear what I think.”

Julie’s heart started pounding like it did when she realized she’d done something very, very wrong. “Tell me,” she whispered.

She hadn’t known Dena long. Probably less than two months. But in all that time, she’d never seen her more vulnerable than she seemed at that moment. Dena was the epitome of self-confidence, but right now she looked uneasy.

“I’ve been collared twice,” Dena said. “The first was to the a*shole. That was a mistake, but it lasted less than a year. The second . . . the second was wonderful.”

Something a lot like grief lurked behind Dena’s blue eyes and Julie couldn’t help but ask, “What happened?”

Dena shook her head, blond hair tumbling across her forehead. “I don’t want to talk about it. I only brought it up because I wanted you to understand.”

“Understand what?”

“I’m unattached right now—I told you that when we first met—but I’m not free.” Her fingers brushed her neck as if stroking an invisible collar. “I make do. I play with Doms and I help train the new ones, but free isn’t how I would describe my life. The day he took his collar back was the day he sent me to the darkest, deepest prison imaginable.”

Her words struck Julie in the center of her chest. She held a hand out, as if to touch her, but Dena shrank back.

“Dena, I’m sorry.”

Dena closed her eyes. “It’s okay. Most days I can deal with it. I just . . . always thought we’d get back together. But each time I see him, we drift farther and farther apart. I’m starting to think it’ll never happen. Pretty soon we’ll be strangers.”

“You see him? He’s in the group?” Julie’s mind spun, picturing the different Doms, trying to figure out which one still held Dena’s heart.

“I said more than I planned to,” Dena said. “Who he is doesn’t matter. The important thing is you and Daniel. Regardless of what he said, you’ve got to come to terms with who you are yourself. But do me a favor and take some advice from someone who’s been there. When the right Dom collars you, when you become his? That’s when you find your wings. That’s when you’ll be so free, you’ll fly.”

? ? ?

Julie gaped at Sasha. “You’re going where?”

It was the next Thursday night and she’d just invited Sasha over for pizza and a movie. Julie still felt unsettled after Dena’s advice a week earlier and had been looking forward to getting wrapped up in a movie. She’d guessed Sasha would feel the same. Sasha, though, had other plans.

“I’m going to the group meeting,” Sasha said after they finished eating.

“That’s what I thought you said. I just wanted to make sure.” She wanted to take Sasha by the shoulders and shake her. How could she even think about going back after what happened with Peter?

“Don’t look at me like that,” Sasha said, and Julie noticed her lower lip trembled.

“Just give it a little bit. No one expects you to jump right back into it.”

“I’m just going to a meeting. Dena’s talking about legal issues within the community. It’ll be safe. I’m not going to the party tomorrow.”

“It’ll be safe,” Julie repeated, hands on her hips. “Always the measure by which I pick my weekend plans.”

“Don’t judge me.”

“Don’t give me a reason to. You’ve barely said four words all week and I’m just supposed to smile and nod when you walk back into what could trigger a panic attack?”

“At least I’m honest about who I am and what I need.”

“Yeah, well, what you need put you in the hospital. You can hardly hold it against me if I’m a bit worried.”

Sasha lifted her chin. “I’m doing this for me. Proving I can do it. I know I’m not ready to go back to a play party yet, but surely I can handle sitting and listening to Dena go on and on about legal matters.”

Julie eyed her friend warily. It looked like Sasha had found her stubborn side again. Yet Julie still pictured her hunched over talking to Peter. “Will he be there?”

“No,” Sasha whispered. “He’s not allowed yet.”

“I thought Jeff said he could remain in the group?”

“Master Greene’s his mentor and he told him he couldn’t attend yet.”

A small smile tickled Julie’s lips. “I knew I liked that Greene guy.”

“You could go with me,” Sasha said, a glimmer of uncertainty showing for the first time. “I’d feel better with a friend.”

Julie reached out and put a hand on her shoulder. “I’ll make you a deal. I won’t say anything else about you going to the meeting as long as you don’t say anything else about me not going.”

Two hours later, Julie sat on her couch, not paying any attention to the movie on her television. Her mind ran trails this way and that, trying to guess what was happening at the group meeting. She pictured Daniel, sitting near the front, and hoped there wouldn’t be any small talk about why she wasn’t with him.

Daniel was strong, though; a little bit of gossip wouldn’t bother him. But it might, she decided, send signals to unattached submissives that he was on the market. That he was available and looking. After listening to Dena, she no longer entertained thoughts the vivacious blonde had her eyes on him, but there were plenty of other single women in the group.

With a sigh, she turned the movie off and walked into her bedroom. Almost unbidden, her feet carried her to the dresser, and without stopping to think twice, she took out the red bracelet and slipped it on her wrist. Holding her arm out, she twisted it one way and then the other before taking the plastic band off and putting it back in the drawer.

She sat down heavily on her bed. She’d thought it best to keep her thoughts of being submissive separate from Daniel, but found it to be impossible. In her mind, the two were intertwined. If only she could decide if that was a good thing or a bad thing.

Grabbing a pillow, she rolled to her side, her mind drifting back to Daniel and the last time she’d been in his playroom.

He’d been evil.

Evil in a horribly pleasurable nightmarish game of bringing her right to the edge, only to jerk her back down.

He hadn’t bound her. Instead, she’d been on her back, knees bent with feet flat against the padded table. Her hands had been fisted tightly at her side while she fought to obey the one command he’d given her: don’t orgasm without permission.

He’d been doing wicked things to her body. His mouth had been hot, sucking her nipples just to the brink of pain and then scraping the sensitive tips with his teeth. And his hands . . . holy hell, his hands had been working a dildo in and out of her. Alternating short, shallow passes with deep, penetrating thrusts.


The entire time he’d been whispering.

“Can’t wait to f*ck you.”

“Feel so good pushing my dick inside.”

“Going to ride you hard.”

Then, right when she thought she couldn’t hold out anymore, right at the second before her body betrayed her and disobeyed him, he stepped away. Her breathing had been choppy and ragged, but his kisses were sweet and his praise generous as he told her how well she was doing and how proud he was. Her heart didn’t have a chance to slow, though, before he once more worked her eager flesh into another frenzy. . . .

Julie opened her eyes and squinted at the lamplight in her bedroom. Her body burned, remembering Daniel’s touch and command. It’d seemed so simple that afternoon. Everything about their time in the playroom seemed simple. In that room, there were only two people and the rules were easy to remember: he spoke and she acted. Why was it when she stepped outside everything got muddy?

She flipped to her belly, remembering the rest.

Her body quivered in restrained need. She’d been certain she’d come if he even breathed on her. His hands stroked her skin and she amazed herself by arching into his touch, but holding out once more. She was putty in his hands, his to command, and his to pleasure at will.

He gently pulled her from the table, only to bend her over it, and inside she rejoiced at the sound of his zipper being pulled down and the rip of a foil packet. Then his body was warm against hers and he’d whispered into her ear.

“Brace yourself, kitten. I’m hard and horny as hell.” His fingers slid inside, ensuring she was ready for his cock. “This won’t be soft or gentle, but you can come when you want and as often as you’re able.”

She gasped when he entered her fully with one powerful thrust. As promised, he rode her hard and long, and she lost count after her third climax. He’d been unrelenting in his quest for pleasure, unashamed in his use of her, and his cock drove mercilessly toward one goal. But as he stilled deep inside her body, breaking the silence of the playroom with the roar of his own release, she realized the truth of who she was. Who she is.

She is his.

Julie jerked, remembering. Had she really thought that? She must have, the memory was so clear. Likewise, she remembered it running through her head while Daniel gathered her, afterward, in his arms and kissed her trembling flesh, calming her overly sensitized skin. He drew a warm bath and washed her with a careful touch.

She recalled brushing his rough cheek with her hand and how he pressed a kiss into her palm.

Her eyes burned, as she remembered that days later she got the call. How quickly she’d forgotten everything when she heard Sasha was in the hospital.

What if the call had never come? What if nothing had happened between Sasha and Peter? Where would she and Daniel be today?

Her concentration shattered with the sound of her doorbell.

Troubled, she jumped off the bed and ran to the door. Looking back at her through the peephole was Sasha. She’d been crying.

“Julie,” she sobbed as the door opened. “Can I stay here tonight?”

Julie ushered her inside, grabbing tissues, and guiding her into the living room. “Yes, of course. Are you okay? What happened?”

“You were right.” Sasha wiped her eyes and dropped onto the couch. “About everything.”

“Oh, no.”

“Yes, it was way too soon. And I don’t care what anyone says, I’m never going back.” A shudder ran through Sasha’s body. “Ever.”

? ? ?

As the last remaining members trickled out of the room, Daniel slowly filled his lungs with air and exhaled. His back ached and he was tired, but even still he knew what sleep he did claim in a few hours’ time would be punctuated with dreams of Julie.

There had been some raised eyebrows and questioning glances when he showed up alone, but no one said anything to him directly. Both the blessing and the curse of being a senior member.

Jeff stood watching him. “You okay?”

“Yeah.” He glanced at his friend. “Just thinking about Sasha. She didn’t look too good when she left.”

It was partially true. He’d also wondered briefly if he should call Julie and have her go by Sasha’s house. Just as quickly, he knew he couldn’t call Julie; it was much too soon and entirely too late. And if experience taught him anything, Julie wouldn’t answer.

“I was surprised to see her back so soon,” Jeff said.

Daniel pushed back from the table and took his phone out of his pocket. “I’ll text Dena, have her reach out to Sasha.”

Jeff gave him a curt nod and then added, “I was even more surprised to see Sasha here alone.”

Daniel had been, too. Not that he ever imagined Julie showing up with her; he knew that wouldn’t happen. Had Dena not been giving the talk, he was certain she’d have sat with Sasha. And several of the other group members had spoken with her, but they had been tentative and too careful.

“Julie’s not up for discussion tonight,” he said in response to Jeff’s earlier statement.

“She’s a strong woman, but she’s hurting. She’s going to need someone patient and resilient to help her heal,” Jeff said. “To help her find herself once more.”

Daniel stood up, steeling himself to go home and face his lonely bed. “Sasha’s been a member for years. She’ll find her way.”

Jeff’s gaze pierced him. “I wasn’t talking about Sasha.”

? ? ?

Daniel walked through his house an hour later. Dena had finally replied, texting back that Julie had answered Sasha’s phone. While he was glad Sasha had such a supportive friend, the selfish part of him couldn’t help but wonder how much further this would push Julie away from her submissive needs.

Jeff’s words echoed in his mind. Patient and resilient. He felt certain he’d been both, but had he been patient and resilient enough? At one time he thought so. Had he, in fact, been self-serving and too quick to call everything off? When he was with Julie, hell, when he just thought of her, every emotion he experienced seemed magnified. But what was done was done.

His phone vibrated in his pocket and for the quickest of seconds, he thought it would be Julie. A quick glance told him otherwise.

“Cole,” he said with a half smile. “How’s India?”

“It smells.”

Cole must not have arrived at his final destination yet. Usually when he was on assignment, Daniel didn’t hear from him at all.

“Everything else okay?” Daniel asked.

There was a long silence from the other end of the line and he wondered if they’d been disconnected when Cole answered simply, “Kate sold the house.”

He could only imagine how much that hurt. The final blow. The last good-bye. “Sorry to hear that.”

“It’s for the best. Neither one of us wanted it.”

Neither one of them wanted it alone and without the other person, in other words. “Still . . .”

“Yes. Well,” Cole said. “How was the group meeting?” he asked as if desperate to change the topic of conversation.

“Julie wasn’t there. Sasha was.”

“Certainly would have been better the other way around.”

Daniel snorted.

“Still nothing from her?”

“No,” Daniel said. “Still nothing.”

“Don’t beat yourself up. You did the right thing.”


“If you love something, yada yada?”

“There’s a lot of truth in that.”

Yes, Daniel supposed, there probably was. Deep inside, he knew he’d made the right choice in doing what he had. Knew that as much as it hurt, he’d make the same choice again.

Then Cole surprised him. “Give her time. I have a strong suspicion she’ll come back. Deep down she knows the truth about her submission.”

Daniel almost dropped his phone. “What? How?”

“The night you whipped Peter, I made her call me ‘sir.’”

“You what?”

“I greeted her and she replied with some flippant remark. You know what that does to me.”

“Cole,” he groaned. He knew his friend had a certain reputation in the playroom. The Badass Brit. Hell, he’d watched him scene before; he knew he could be a bastard. Honest and fair? Yes. Just harder than Daniel.

“I won’t apologize.”

“Wasn’t asking you to.”

“Just wanted you to know, deep down she knows.”

It was too much to hope for. He had to change the subject. “Cole?”

“Yeah.”

“You did the right thing, too. It wouldn’t have been fair to you, Kate, or your child for you to have given in on something you feel so strongly about.”

“Thanks,” Cole said. “Sometimes you just need to hear the words.”

? ? ?

Sasha threw herself into work the next Monday. Julie thought she was trying to keep her mind busy so she didn’t have to face whatever it was that had upset her at the group meeting. Sasha refused to talk about it, though, simply stating she was done with being a submissive.

Since Sasha had the shop covered, Julie decided to stop by Daniel’s grandmother’s place after lunch. While cleaning house on Sunday, she’d come across the books she’d promised the older lady. A weekday afternoon would be a safe time to go take them, she thought. After all, Daniel would be working.

Except he wasn’t.

“Daniel,” she said, taking a step backward when he opened his grandmother’s door. “What . . . why . . . ?”

Daniel covered his surprise quickly and opened the door to let her inside. “I had to take her to the doctor’s. We just got back and I’ve convinced her to nap.” He nodded to the books in Julie’s hand. “Wanted to swing by when I wouldn’t be here?”

She lifted her chin, refusing to feel guilty. “Can you blame me?”

“No.” His expression was sad. “I can’t and I’m sorry, I didn’t say it to be cruel.”

The truth of his words—the truth that he wasn’t a cruel man—made her feel warm inside. He cared for his sister and his niece, and took his grandmother to doctor appointments. She knew he’d asked Dena to check up on Sasha after the group meeting Thursday night.

Even in his playroom, where obedience was expected without question, he’d never treated her cruelly. He’d been patient, slowly introducing her to the unexplored side of her sexual nature.

She tentatively touched his arm. “No, I’m the sorry one.”

She thought he looked tired and wondered if he tossed and turned the way she did. Did he lie in bed remembering their time together? Did those memories haunt him, too?

“Let me take those for you.” He reached for the books. “You know you didn’t have to bring them.”

“I wanted to.”

“I know and she’ll love them.” He walked into the sitting area and placed them on a table beside the couch. “Would you like to sit down? I’ll get you a drink.”

She was torn. Like before, being in the same room with him left her confused. One look at him and she felt lost in need and desire. A glance at his hands and she wanted them on her. She missed his smile, his wit, and his easygoing manner.

“Or if you need to get back,” he said, misinterpreting her silence.

“No, it’s fine.” She sat on the couch, not ready to leave him just yet. “Sasha’s got it covered.”

He sat beside her. “How is she?”

“Overcompensating. Throwing herself into work. Refusing to talk.”

“Do you think it’d be a good idea for her to talk with someone? Professionally?”

“At this point I’d suggest anything.”

“That bad?”

“I just hate to see her hurting.”

“I know how you feel,” he said. “It’s difficult to see someone you care about in pain.”

She couldn’t face the intensity of his gaze, knowing he was talking about them, so she dropped her head and played with a loose thread on her shirt. “I know you told me it was over, but I haven’t stopped wanting. Needing.”

“Julie,” he said, softly. “I only did what I did to ease your internal turmoil. To give you what you thought you wanted.”

“I know, but you can’t command my mind the way you did my body.”

“You just didn’t give me enough time.”

Her head shot up. “What?”

“A Dominant-submissive relationship takes time to build, especially when one of the participants is new.” He scooted forward. “Do you remember that last day? When I commanded you not to orgasm?”

“Frequently,” she confessed, earning a smile from him.

“Do you understand that, yes, part of the scene was taking control away from you, but it was also me learning you and your body?”

She shook her head.

“Learning what turns you on, what you like, what you love. How your face, body, and breathing look when you’re about to come.” He leaned toward her and her body answered in kind. “Your forehead wrinkles and your left eyebrow twitches, by the way.”

She couldn’t hold back the laugh. “What?”

“Right before you climax, your forehead wrinkles and your left eyebrow twitches.”

He would know, of course, because he was an excellent Dominant. Exactly like he’d told her once before. And still, even after what happened to Sasha, to be in the same room with him left her achy and needy.

Perhaps, she wondered, that was because her body accepted what she was and refused to deny itself that need.

And in that moment she knew. She could pretend all she wanted that she wasn’t a submissive, but pretending would never make it so. Daniel had helped her discover her true sexual self, and now that she knew the truth, she could never again deny it.

The only question to answer was, what would she do with that knowledge?

? ? ?

Dena nearly squealed when Julie asked her to come by for a talk the following weekend. Seeing Daniel again had ignited something inside her. Even watching Sasha deal with her own demons didn’t deter it. During the day, Julie forced herself to focus on work, but at night she allowed the memories to wash over her. Memories of time spent in Daniel’s playroom and in his bed, yes. But more important, memories of him.

“I’ve decided it doesn’t matter,” she told Dena over dinner Saturday night.

“What doesn’t?”

“That I can’t separate thoughts of being submissive from thoughts of Daniel.”

“That sounds like progress.”

They were sitting at Julie’s kitchen table, eating chicken salads. Julie had thought of asking Sasha to join them, but decided at the last minute that Sasha wasn’t in the right frame of mind yet. If Sasha were with them, Julie feared she wouldn’t be able to speak freely with Dena.


“Really?” Julie asked. “Progress?”

“You’ve only been submissive to Daniel, so of course you find it difficult to separate them. And, frankly, until you do, you might not be able to.”

Julie’s fork slipped from her hand and clanked against her bowl. “Submit to someone else? That isn’t where I saw this conversation going.”

“Then you have to ask yourself if it matters.” Dena shrugged. “Sounds like you’ve made up your mind it doesn’t.”

They ate in silence for a few minutes. Julie knew there was no way she’d even entertain thoughts of submitting to someone else.

“You know, I’m thinking,” Dena said. She took a bite of salad and chewed before continuing. “What if you watched?”

“Watched what?”

“A scene. I could arrange it.” Dena’s face lit up as she talked. “I can get a Dom to play and let you watch. Could you do that, you think? Watch me in a scene?”

Julie found it hard to believe she was even having this conversation. More than that, was she seriously considering it? “I don’t know.”

“I think before you go any further, you should explore the dynamics a bit more. It could be very helpful to actually see what it looks like for a submissive to place herself before a Dominant. For a Dominant to control that submissive. Pretty hard to do when you’re the one on your knees and if you’re like me, you have no desire to be the one in control.”

It made sense when Dena put it that way. Julie shifted in her seat. Didn’t she owe it to herself to make an informed decision? Even if that meant watching?

? ? ?

The next Saturday night Julie rode to Jeff’s house with Dena. Dena’s mood was somber, though she tried to hide it with little smiles and subtle teases. As they drove closer to their destination, she gave up and stopped talking altogether.

“You know,” Julie said, “you don’t have to do this.”

Dena’s expression went from borderline anxious to resolved in a flash. “I do. You need to see it before you make your mind up. See that it’s so much more than kinky sex. It’s more than a physical need—it’s emotional and mental, too.”

Julie decided not to think too much about the fact that she’d be watching her friend and a man she barely knew engage in BDSM play. Dena said she needed to see a scene from both perspectives and that the best way to do that would be to watch.

“Why Jeff?” Julie asked. Whenever she thought about the dark Dominant, she remembered his commanding voice as he presided over the meeting and his dispassionate manner as he spoke about Peter’s punishment.

“Why not?” Dena asked. “He’s available. He’s an excellent Dom. Besides, Cole left, and even if he hadn’t, I wouldn’t pick him—”

“Why not?”

“Cole is, um . . .” She seemed to be having a hard time finding the word she wanted. “He’s an excellent Dom, too. He’s just a bit intense in the playroom.”

“Intense?”

“He’s known as the Badass Brit. Just don’t ever call him that to his face.”

Julie remembered the way he made her address him as “sir” the night of Peter’s punishment. “I believe that.”

“Which is fine. It’s just not what I want you to experience right now. That leaves Master Greene, who’s busy with Peter, and, well, I couldn’t ask Daniel.”

Julie squirmed in her seat, not wanting to go anywhere near Daniel playing with Dena.

“Not that he would have taken me up on the offer,” Dena continued. “He hasn’t played since you.”

“Really?”

“He might have spoken the words to let you go, but his heart hasn’t processed them yet.”

Julie sat back in her seat, turned to the window, and smiled. Maybe all hope wasn’t lost after all.

Jeff lived in a cabin-style house, set back in the woods. Dena had told her he owned a security company. A small two-man operation that did well enough to support his modest lifestyle. He’d turned outside lights on, which was helpful, Julie thought. Without them, they would be in complete darkness.

“Little bit scary, don’t you think?” Julie asked. She couldn’t even see if he had neighbors.

“Maybe a bit. Just until you get used to it.” Dena’s eyes were on the front door. Her demeanor had relaxed somewhat, and if anything, she looked full of anticipation.

Jeff met them at the door and let them into his house. The cabin look was continued inside with exposed wooden beams in the ceiling and spotless hardwood flooring made from wide planks. Though she’d thought the outside to be scary, inside it felt warm and inviting.

He greeted them both kindly and while he made small talk, Julie took a few minutes to get a good look at him.

He was just as dark as she remembered: dark wavy hair, dark eyes, and though his voice was pleasant enough, he didn’t seem to smile often. She couldn’t help but compare him with the woman at his side. With her blond hair, blue eyes, and lively personality, Dena appeared to be his polar opposite.

He led them into a spacious living room and motioned for them to sit down.

“Julie,” he said, in the same deep, commanding voice she remembered. “This is an odd request for me. Normally, I don’t invite people to my home to watch me play, but I’m doing this as a favor to Dena and to Daniel.”

Her heart raced and she wondered if Daniel knew what she was doing tonight. “Thank you, sir.”

“Daniel’s a good friend of mine, but he needs a woman strong enough to take what he has to give.” Jeff’s gaze grew even more intimidating. “If you have no interest in being that woman, I suggest you leave now.”

Julie met his gaze, hoping to show how serious she was. “I’m here to watch. Hopefully what I witness tonight will help me make certain.”

He studied her quietly for several long seconds, as if attempting to discover the truth of her words. She hoped he didn’t find her lacking. Finally, he nodded and stood up. “Ten minutes, Dena. Julie, down the hall to your left, second door on the right. There’s a chair. Make yourself at home.”

“You don’t have to do this,” she told Dena once more after Jeff left.

“I know,” Dena whispered. “I want to.”

A little over ten minutes later, Julie sat in a chair in what appeared to be a spare bedroom turned playroom. It was smaller than Daniel’s, but well stocked with equipment she recognized. Dena knelt, naked, in the middle of the room and Julie’s heart ached as she remembered how she would wait in a similar manner for Daniel.

Jeff strode into the room with such quiet authority, she sat up straighter and fought the urge to mimic Dena’s downward gaze. Instead, she watched as he came to a stop just in front of the pale submissive. His eyes burned with intensity so strong, she almost wondered if she imagined it.

His voice was gruff when he spoke. “It’s been a long time, Angel.”

Dena’s breath hitched, but she calmly answered, “Too long, sir.”

“Did you think I’d go easy on you if you brought a friend?”

“No, sir.”

“What’s your safe word?”

Dena hesitated, just for a second. “Wings, sir.”

“Noted.” With one hand, he reached out and stroked her head. “How does it feel to be kneeling before me again, Angel?”


Dena’s reply was almost a sigh. “It makes me feel happy, sir.”

“I almost said no to your request. How would that have made you feel?”

“Sad, sir.”

“Sad for your friend?”

“For me.”

He stood still and seemed to be weighing her words. Julie sat mesmerized at the emotion flowing between the two. She jumped when Jeff snapped his fingers.

“Show me how grateful you are I said yes.”

Dena didn’t hesitate, but slid gracefully to her forearms. Her long blond hair hid her face, but Julie knew she was kissing his feet. His eyes were closed and he was breathing rather heavily.

“Kneel,” he said when she’d finished both feet.

Dena went back to her waiting position and Jeff turned away to take something from the tabletop nearby. A riding crop swung from his hand when he stood before Dena again. He trailed it down her thigh, giving her knee a flick with the tip. She spread her legs wider.

“Someone’s gotten lazy.”

He walked behind her, all the while running the crop along Dena’s body, adjusting her posture this way and that. “Tsk. Tsk. Tsk. Are you this sloppy kneeling for everyone or is it just me?”

“I’m sorry for being sloppy, sir.”

“That didn’t answer my question, Angel. Look at me. You remember what happens when you neglect to answer a question?”

“Yes, sir,” Dena said, meeting his gaze, but she didn’t seem upset or worried. She looked peaceful and calm.

“Go,” he said, and Dena stood to her feet and walked to an odd-looking bench. He nodded toward Julie. “For the benefit of our guest, tell me what the penalty is for not answering a direct question.”

“Five swats with the implement of Master’s choice,” Dena said, draping herself across the bench.

“Plus five more for the improper use of the title ‘Master.’ Only my collared submissive addresses me as such in this room.”

Dena winced. “Sorry, sir.”

Jeff walked to stand at her side and ran a hand over her exposed bottom, trailed a finger between her legs. “Doesn’t feel like you’re sorry at all. Feels like you’re looking forward to my punishment. Count, my naughty Angel.”

Julie didn’t know if it was because she’d never seen anything like what played out before her or if it was just the magnetism of the couple involved, but she found herself unable to look away. Julie had thought Jeff to be hard and abrasive before. She had been partially correct. Jeff pushed, tormented, and teased Dena. Yet the entire time, his expression showed fierce concentration—though at times, she thought she glimpsed something more desperately trying to break through.

For her part, Dena looked hungry, eager to please and serve. In front of Julie, her friend transformed into a picture of satisfied contentment. When Jeff bent her over his padded table and bound her, Dena complied with a devotion that spoke of absolute trust. When he worked her with a flogger, Dena filled the room with sounds of pleasure and needy desire. Even when he finally took her, hard and harsh from behind, there was a look of pure bliss on Dena’s face.

But it was after, when the bonds were loosened, and the room silent, when Jeff sat on the floor with Dena held tenderly in his arms, that she knew. For Jeff and Dena, Julie was no longer in the room. Jeff whispered something to Dena and lightly kissed her cheek. Dena turned her face toward him and their lips met briefly.

Somehow, Jeff and Dena entwined in each other’s arms, whispering and sharing stolen kisses, became exponentially more intimate than all the things they’d done before. Julie no longer felt comfortable watching, so as quietly as she could, she stood up and slipped out of the room. It wasn’t until she made it back into the living room that she realized she’d been crying.

? ? ?

It was almost an hour before Jeff let them leave. Even then, he made Julie drive. Dena argued with him, but he wouldn’t be moved. The dark, dour Dom was back, replacing the affectionate lover of an hour before. But Julie took his secret and tucked it away so she could study it later.

They were halfway back to her house before Julie turned to Dena. “So, uh, you and Jeff, huh?”

Dena gave her a dreamy nod.

“So does this mean you’re back together?”

“No,” Dena said. “But let me bask in the aftermath a bit longer before making me face reality, okay?”

Julie had a plethora of questions she wanted to ask, but out of respect for Dena, she kept them to herself. As they drove into the night, she glanced to the side and watched a single tear make its way down Dena’s cheek.

Julie still noted a lingering sadness in Dena’s expression when the blonde came to talk with her the next day. They sat around Julie’s table, sipping coffee, and chatted about a little bit of everything before the conversation turned to the previous night.

“Is it odd, playing in front of someone like that?” Julie asked.

“I’ve done it so often, I don’t think about it much. Maybe it was the first few times.” Dena’s gaze grew wistful and Julie imagined her to be thinking about Jeff. “The thing is, when I’m there, in the moment, my attention is so focused on him, there’s no room for anyone else.”

Julie had expected her to say as much. It was obvious in watching the pair the night before that Julie’s presence had not been acknowledged above the bare minimum.

“What did you think?” Dena asked.

“It was”—Julie searched for the right word—“intense. So much more than I thought it would be. But it also reminded me of a dance, though that doesn’t seem right either. It’s just the way your bodies moved. Together. How he would make a move and you’d somehow know just how to respond. Is it always like that?”

Dena placed her coffee on the table. “No, not always. Remember, Jeff and I have played many, many times and I wore his collar once. There’s more intensity to be expected in a relationship like ours. Emotions don’t have to be involved, of course, but I’ve always found play to have more of an edge when they are. That’s why I picked Jeff. I wanted you to see the emotion.”

“The emotion you still won’t talk about?” Julie asked, figuring it wouldn’t hurt to try again to find out what happened between Dena and Jeff.

“Nice try, but no. Besides, we’re talking about you.”

“One day,” Julie promised, “we’re going to talk about you.”

“Not if I can help it.”

“You didn’t see what I saw. You didn’t see the emotions I saw between you and Jeff.”

Dena grew even more serious. “That’s the thing, don’t you understand? The emotion between you and Daniel would be the same.”

Julie thought about that. It hadn’t occurred to her while watching or even as she thought back on the scene later. Yet, there was truth in the statement and she shivered, imagining Daniel watching her the way Jeff watched Dena.

Across the table, a self-satisfied smile covered Dena’s face and she sipped her coffee.

“Ask yourself this,” Dena said. “Have you ever felt more safe or protected than you were under Daniel’s command?”

Julie didn’t have to think too long to know the answer to that one. She hadn’t. Whenever she knelt at his feet, she knew he would guard her with his life. Just thinking about it made her yearn for that feeling.


“No,” Julie finally answered. “I haven’t.”

“I’ve known Daniel for years and if there’s one thing I know about him, it’s this: he protects what’s his. And if you’re in his playroom, for that moment in time, you’re his.”

Julie swirled her coffee, trying to ignore the ache in her heart. She didn’t want to be his just in the playroom. She wanted to be his everywhere and all the time.

“He’ll push you,” Dena continued. “That’s what a good Dom does, but he’ll never take you too far. And, Julie, trust me on this: if you let him, Daniel could be the one to give you your wings.”

? ? ?

Friday night Julie drove to Daniel’s house, her heart racing the entire way. She’d thought about calling and letting him know she was coming, but only entertained that thought briefly. It would be better if she surprised him. She couldn’t even think about what she would do if he wasn’t at home. It was doubtful she’d be able to work up the courage to come again.

She stood on his front porch, her heart pounding so hard, it echoed in her head. Her hand trembled when she rang the doorbell. It seemed to take forever for the door to open, but surely it was mere seconds.

Daniel’s face was a combination of shock and surprise when he opened the door and saw her.

“Julie?”

The nerves that made her hand shake took over her entire body. Even her toes trembled. “Can I come in?”

“Sure.” He stepped out of the way to let her in, but she only cleared the threshold. He closed the door. “Is everything okay? You look—”

He stopped talking when she knelt in front of him.

“Julie?”

She kept her eyes on the floor. “I’ve made my choice, sir.”

He didn’t say anything. He didn’t move. Her head throbbed with one unwelcome thought.

What if he didn’t want her anymore?