After breakfast, I placed the twins in the living room with Donald and Sarah while I headed upstairs to pack our things. We were going home. Well, we were at least going back so that I could finally talk to Aidan. It was time. The car taking us to the airport arrived around four in the afternoon. We gave our hugs and kisses goodbye, promising to call when we landed.
Flying alone with the twins was much different than with another set of hands. I managed, incredibly relieved that first class was barely occupied. It was confirmed, Walsh hated to fly. Thank God for Livy or he would have never settled down.
When we came off the plane, I stopped in my tracks. Aidan. He looked terrible. He seemed thinner, paler and had deep, dark circles under his eyes. I took a quick breath and started walking, holding one twin on each hip.
I couldn't help that part of me wanted to run and throw my arms around him, while the other part had me feeling sick to my stomach with anger and confusion. I swallowed the feelings down.
Once we were close, he moved quickly to us. He seemed to be breathing heavily. I bit my lip and furrowed my brow at him. He paused about a foot from me.
"I-I...damn it, I couldn't not be here." He said, sad but firm.
I simply nodded without expression. Then I headed toward the baggage claim. Aidan quickly kept up with me and, once we reached baggage, Livy reached out to him.
"Ded." She smiled with outstretched arms. I smiled down on her. Aidan's face lit up and he immediately took her into his arms, holding onto her as if she weren't real.
"I'm sorry." I whispered. He froze and looked at me confused. "For keeping you from them, it wasn't fair." I swallowed the lump of sobs that wanted to explode from me.
He simply nodded as I turned to look at the turnstile, waiting for our luggage. Once we were in the car, both kids on his lap, Aiden broke the silence.
"Are you..." He closed his eyes, "leaving again?" He breathed heavily.
"I'm not sure." I was still using a flat tone.
He nodded and blinked his eyes a few times. Looking out the window, I spoke one last thing.
"We need to talk."
Nothing else was said.
Kimberly, Jay, Rachel, Mrs. White, Peter and Alex were all in the foyer when we arrived to the house. Warm, but uneasy smiles were plastered across their faces. Hugs and tears were shared by everyone.
"Look how big you guys are." Kimberly cooed to the twins as she took Livy from my arms and then Walsh from Aidan’s. "I bet you guys would like to see your room." She looked at me and I nodded.
Mrs. White pulled me into a large hug and whispered into my ear. "It hasn't been the same without you." She kissed my cheek before pulling away.
"I've missed you so much." Rachel cried out as she hugged me.
"Where have you been?" Alex asked and Rachel blushed while pulling him away with her.
"Jay." I smiled. He winked and pulled me into a large hug. Surprisingly, he whispered into my ear as well.
"He has been lost without you." I pulled back with tears in my eyes. He nodded, smiled and then walked away with the luggage. I cleared my throat and turned around to look at Aidan. He did look lost, but he also looked torn.
"We should talk, but perhaps tomorrow would be better since I just got home." He nodded and I walked away, heading upstairs.
Once in our bedroom, I looked around. A sickening feeling immediately settled into my stomach. I went to the closet, grabbed some pajamas, and changed quickly. In my flannel pants and t-shirt, I headed to the twins room.
They were both on their large play carpet crawling around with their toys. Kimberly was sitting in the chair going through their bags.
"I can do that." I walked toward her.
"No, no, you just got home. Let me do my job." She smiled warmly at me. I sat on the floor with the twins, playing, tickling and laughing.
I soon felt a presence behind me and turned. Aidan was standing in the doorway, disheveled and sullen, staring at us as we played on the floor. I was holding Livy in a standing position as she tried to take a step.
"Ded." She smiled and took a step toward Aidan. I was about to shift myself to stand, but she let go and took four solid steps toward Aidan. He knelt down and she stumbled to him.
I felt the tear slip down my cheek. She was the last to walk. Walsh had started walking a few weeks ago.
"W-when did she...?"
"That was her first time." His face was lit up at my answer and I couldn't bear to tell him that he had missed Walsh's first steps.
"Good girl, Livy." Aidan cooed to her as he hugged her tightly. "You are such a big girl. I've missed you so much, baby girl." I had to blink away the tears, the guilt bubbling up again.
Aidan edged into the room further and started to play with the twins. I found myself drifting further away from them, letting him catch up his time with them. I could see how badly being away from the twins had affected him. It had been killing him slowly. The sullen look of his face seemed to already improve with his interaction with them.
"Hey there, big man, have you been taking care of your mom and sister?" Aidan ruffled Walsh's hair.
"Mumma." Walsh smiled with his blurt.