I huffed. I could not believe they were teaming up on me.
"You have been moping. Now, I understand why, but I need to say this. After I say my piece, I won’t bring it up again."
I nodded and he continued.
"Lilli, anyone who has seen the way Aidan looks at you knows that he loves you deeply and passionately."
"But—"
"Don't interrupt." My mother cut me off again.
"I am not saying that Aidan didn't make a mistake. Hell, I'm not saying that I even understand what the hell happened that night, regardless...I believe that, at the most, it was a mistake. A lousy mistake, but still a mistake." He took a deep breath. "Although, I really feel that something stinks about this whole situation. I wasn’t there, but it just doesn’t feel right."
"Baby..." Now it was my mother's turn, "I saw Aidan's face as you met him at the altar, the way he looked at you at your rehearsal dinner, how he was when you gave birth...Jesus, Lilli, that man is so in love with you. This marriage was the best thing that happened to you two, even if it was an arrangement."
I looked at her shocked. She smirked.
"I may be flighty but I am not stupid, baby. I don't know all the details but I've picked up a few things along the way." She put her arm over my shoulders.
"If you feel that there is nothing worth fighting for, that this 'incident' is something that you cannot get past and it's enough to end your marriage, then we support you." My mother squeezed me.
"But, Lilli, if one mistake, no matter how big of a mistake it was, can tear apart your marriage, then, perhaps, it was never love to begin with. If you love that man the way we think that you do, as much as he loves you, then you need to ask yourself one question." My father stopped there and sighed.
"What question?" It came out in a very hushed tone.
"If this 'one situation' is enough to throw away everything the two of you have.” Donald stated.
"And, if this is the one thing that you can't forgive, then we will help you." Sarah smiled and held me tighter.
"I'm going to go take a shower." I wiped the tears from my eyes and headed toward the stairs.
I could hear my mother and father whispering rapidly and animatedly. I ignored it as I shut the bathroom door behind me.
I crouched in the tub as the steam rose around me from the hot water. First, I cried until it was only water running over my cheeks instead of tears. Second, I turned off the water, dried and got dressed. Third, I looked at myself in the mirror.
When I say that I looked at myself, I mean, I really, really looked at myself. I stared for so long that the image of myself started to blur.
Aidan hated Loreley, could he possibly have gotten drunk enough to sleep with her? Was everyone right about Loreley? Had I been that foolish? Something felt wrong. I knew it that night but the sight of them, after all of the happiness that I thought that Aidan and I had going, I just couldn't handle it. If it hadn't been for the twins, I'm sure that I would have had a mental breakdown from the overload of emotions.
I finally put myself into bed. Lying awake, I stared into the darkness of my childhood room. Aidan had said he loved me and I thought…no, I knew he meant it. Every small act and exchange between us since the moment we met, played like a movie reel in my head. Not in one of those moments did I ever see Aidan pay attention to another woman. Perhaps, it could have been out of fear due to the conditions but, even after the marriage and the children, it was just too...too genuine. He couldn't be that good of an actor, could he? Sighing heavily, I rolled to my left side, curling my left arm under my head.
Could I walk away from what I have with Aidan? I looked over to my sleeping children. Guilt suddenly weighed very heavily on my chest for keeping them separated from their father for so long.
Tossing back over, again, I settled into a restless sleep.
When I was awoken the next morning by Walsh yelling 'mumma', it was almost as if my mind had cleared and I knew what needed to be done. I smiled widely and got up, taking Walsh downstairs for breakfast.
"Good morning, dear." Millie smiled as she walked into the kitchen.
"Morning." I smiled and placed the Cheerios and sliced bananas out on the highchair's tray. "Do you mind keeping an eye on him while I..."
"Oh, honey, go do what you need to do." She waved me off before I could finish.
I headed upstairs and grabbed my cell phone along with a now awake Livy.
"Morning, baby." I kissed her head. I took Livy downstairs for her breakfast and made some phone calls.