Rock All Night

103




I waited until we were out in the hallway (and relatively alone) before I launched into him.

With any other guy, I might have acted pissed off and aloof until he started asking, What’s wrong?

Then – and I’m not particularly proud of this, mind you – I probably would have said Nothing repeatedly until he dragged it out of me.

That was a bad tactic with Derek. I’d tried it already and failed miserably. Maybe it was all the fights we were having – battle fatigue does tend to set in at some point – but he never asked me what was wrong. He just wandered off and flirted with more model-actress-whatevers.

So I went on the offensive.

“What the f*ck, Derek?!”

He exhaled heavily, sounding irritated and tired. “What now?”

“Back in the meeting!”

“What about back in the meeting?”

“You humiliated me in front of everybody!”

I couldn’t see his eyes behind his sunglasses, but I knew he was rolling them. Which made me even angrier. “What the f*ck are you talking about?”

“Are you serious?!”

“Yeah, I am. I never know what you’re f*cking pissed off about from one minute to the next. What is it this time, the Amsterdam thing? Or did I look at another chick without realizing it?”

Shock.

Not that I wasn’t annoyed about the Amsterdam joke – mostly because of the insensitivity and disrespect towards me it had conveyed – but that was small potatoes compared to what came after.

“You basically told the entire band that you’re dropping me after the tour,” I said, trying angrily to keep my eyes from tearing up.

“WHAT?! No I didn’t!”

“Miles asked you if you had any plans, and you said you didn’t.”

“Because I don’t!”

“You don’t have any plans, or you don’t have any plans that include me?”

“Jesus f*cking Christ – I said I don’t have any plans because I don’t have any plans, Kaitlyn. That’s it. End of story. I haven’t even thought that far yet.”

I didn’t believe him.

“You didn’t look at me the entire time we were in there.”

“Oh, I’m sorry – I guess you forgot that you reamed my ass out again last night for looking at some women who happened to be standing right in front of me. Which you always do, EVERY… SINGLE… F*ckING… NIGHT.”

Looking at?

More like slobbering over.

And charming the pants off of.

“You were practically all over them!”

He looked away, like he couldn’t stand to go over this again. “I cannot believe we are fighting about this for the goddamn thousandth – ”

“I don’t even care about that!”

“Then what are you mad about this time?!”

THIS time.

I wanted to punch him, he made me so angry. But I controlled myself.

Barely.

“Miles asked if this was the last time he was ever going to see me, and I looked over at you, and you didn’t say anything!”

He threw up his hands. “I don’t know what the f*ck you’re going to do!”

I stared at him again, utterly bewildered. “What are you talking about?!”

“You haven’t told me anything about what you’re planning to do.”

“I DIDN’T EVEN KNOW YOU GUYS WERE SPLITTING UP FOR TWO MONTHS!” I yelled.

“We’re not ‘splitting up,’ we’re just taking a vacation – ”

“Whatever! You haven’t invited me to stick around, you haven’t – ”

“Because I assumed you WOULD! JESUS!”

That caught me a little off-guard. “Well… you didn’t say that – ”

“Can we NOT do this right now?” Derek fumed. “Can we NOT do this right before the last concert of the f*cking tour?”


I balled up my fists. It was just like him to act all shady and then bring up something to make me look unreasonable. “You’re so – so selfish!”

“WHO’S selfish? I have to go onstage in a couple of hours, and you want to f*ck with my head about this now? Remind me again who’s selfish.”

“FINE,” I seethed. “As long as we talk about it later – ”

“I don’t see how we WON’T, since all we ever talk about anymore is how I f*cking piss you off.”

That was it. I stormed off and yelled over my shoulder, “Maybe if you didn’t eye-f*ck everything in a skirt!”

“Maybe if you didn’t IMAGINE me eye-f*cking everything in a skirt!” he yelled back.

By that point I was in the elevator, punching the button for the floor where he and I had been staying.

He never followed.

I didn’t see him again until the band left for the final show.