Rock All Night

99




We were hurtling towards the end of the tour like a runaway train.

Things became a blur. One night of partying blended into the next; the concerts seemed to be one unending performance; one city transformed into another. I could barely distinguish between what happened in Vancouver versus Boise versus Denver. The only way to differentiate were things that were vastly out of the ordinary, like my interview with Riley. I’ll always remember Seattle because of that night. But otherwise, the only indicators were different skylines and the weather, and when you spend most of your time inside hotel rooms or concrete stadiums, every city looks the same.

There were things that stood out, of course – both good and bad.

One of my favorites was the time we were walking down the street on one of the band’s nights off. I don’t remember what city; it doesn’t even matter. But Derek, Ryan, Riley, and I were passing by a karaoke bar downtown when we heard somebody inside start singing one of Bigger’s hits.

“HEY!” Riley yelled, drunker than usual. “That’s our song!”

Ryan seemed to have an almost telepathic ability to tell what she was thinking. “Riley – no – ”

But it was too late. She was already inside, up on stage, and grabbing the mic away from the startled singer.

“That’s not how you sing that song!” she yelled. “THIS is how you sing that song!”

As we raced inside after her, she launched into one of the worst renditions imaginable.

It became readily apparent why she was the drummer.

Only a handful of people knew who she was. They cheered and took pictures – but the rest of the place was mystified at who the tiny punk-rock pixie was butchering ‘Go All Night.’

Fifteen seconds later, Derek bounded up on stage and grabbed the mic away from her.

“That’s not how you sing that song,” he said in his rumbling voice. “This is how you sing that song.”

Then he proceeded to give one of the most awesome mini-concerts in the history of the world.

The entire place knew who he was, and they went INSANE.

Then some people recognized Ryan, and he was thrust up onstage, protesting all the way. So it turned into Derek singing the main lyrics to three Bigger hits, Ryan singing backup, and Riley drumming on the speakers with a pair of spoons she stole from the front row of patrons.

It was f*cking awesome. And news of it basically blew up Twitter and Instagram over the next fifteen minutes.

Now that was a good memory.

A not-so-good memory was when Derek asked me what I talked about with Riley on our wild night out.

After relaying several of the things I’d learned about her, I happened to mention the whole thing about Ryan writing the melodies to the songs.

Oh boy.

Derek immediately went cold and angry. There was a palpable temperature drop in the air.

“Well, that’s a load of bullshit.”

I tried to clarify. “She wasn’t saying he wrote all the songs – ”

“I know exactly what she was saying,” Derek seethed, “and she’s wrong. She doesn’t know shit. Ryan and I work on stuff all the time when she’s not around. She’s a f*cking drummer, for God’s sake. She doesn’t know shit about songwriting. It doesn’t matter who comes up with – you know what, f*ck that, at least half the melodies are mine. I come up with just as much shit as Ryan does. And he doesn’t come up with any of the lyrics, so f*ck Riley.”

Jesus.

“I think she just meant – ”

“I don’t give a f*ck what she meant. If she wants to be a f*cking idiot, then good for her. But I’d be careful what you print from her, because she obviously has her head up her ass.”

All I thought was, I’m glad I didn’t tell you the part about how you turn into a dick if your ego doesn’t get stroked.

He even lit into her about it at the next band meeting.

While he was yelling at her and Ryan was trying to calm him down by agreeing with him that, yes, Derek did write half the melodies, Riley looked over at me.

Sorry, I mouthed silently, cringing and wincing.

But she just looked amused and gave me a look like, See? What’d I tell you?

She’d been right.

Which scared me even more about some of the other things she’d said.

To his credit, Derek realized in the next few hours that he’d been a complete douchebag.

First he apologized to me.

“I don’t think I’m the one you should be apologizing to,” I said.

So he sucked it up and tracked them both down separately, and apologized in my presence for being a complete f*cking a*shole about the whole thing.

Ryan was nicer than any human being ought to be. “Nothing to apologize for, man.”


Riley, however… was Riley.

“SO… you’re saying Ryan actually does write all the tunes, then, Word Boy?”

There was no apology forthcoming for the fight that happened after that.