Racing for Freedom

chapter Twenty Five



I run a good three blocks before stopping and waiting at a bus stop. I quickly text Payton my location. She arrives about fifteen minutes later, just as Slade’s car screeches to a halt behind hers. They both jump out. She looks over at Slade’s bleeding lip and frowns. Then she turns to me and her mouth drops open.

“You…you…f*cking bastard!” she screams.

“He didn’t do it,” I whisper.

“You have a black eye!”

She rushes over and drops down in front of me, taking my face in her hands and turning my face from side to side.

“It’s ok Pay,” I whisper.

“What happened?” she barks at Slade.

Slade is looking down at me and I dare to peer up and meet his eyes. I can’t read the emotion there, so much is going on in those eyes right now. He stares at me so painfully it causes an instant burn in my chest. He walks over and kneels in front of me, taking my chin in his hand.

“You ok?”

“I just…I need to be alone Slade.”

“Dash, I’m sorry…for what happened back there.”

“What happened?” Payton cries, throwing her hands up.

Slade doesn’t look at her, he keeps his eyes on mine.

“I’ll stay with dad tonight, ok?”

I nod weakly. He leans in, kisses my head and then stands. He looks over at Payton. “Take care of her,” he says then turns back to me. “I meant everything I said back there Dash, everything.”

Then he gets into his car and speeds off. Payton helps me up and she tucks me into the front seat of her car. I peer down the empty street and wonder where Lucas is. I wonder if he’s ok? I wonder if I should go and look for him? Payton gets into the front of the car and looks over at me, she reaches out to squeeze my hand.

“Are you ok honey?”

I nod, swallowing. “Can we just drive a while before I go home?”

“Sure.”

We begin driving and for the first twenty minutes I’m quiet and Payton doesn’t push. Then I begin speaking.

“It was my dad’s fault.”

“What was?” she asks, not moving her eyes from the road.

“My mother’s death. It was his fault.”

“I don’t…understand…”

“Slade’s father told me tonight that Slade caused the accident. After he left the party that night, he was drinking and driving and caused a lineup on the highway. My dad was coming home and…well…he slammed into the back of the cars and my mother’s head went into the dashboard. It killed her instantly. He was speeding and he was drunk. He blamed Slade and Slade took the blame, he said he got charged for drink driving. I get the feeling it’s why he went away for two years and I didn’t see much of him in the racing world in that time. He wouldn’t have had a license. Anyway, my father got away with it. All along…all along he warned me against Slade because he knew…”

“Oh Dash, I’m so sorry.”

“I can’t face him Payton, I don’t even know what I would say.”

“Take a few days, time always helps.”

“I can’t believe…I can’t believe it was always him.”

“You know he made a mistake Dash, your dad loved your mum.”

“I know that, I do, believe me but I also know he hid it from me and blamed Slade.”

“It was partly Slade’s fault.”

“I know that too, but my father shouldn’t have gotten into that car drunk and worse, he shouldn’t have lied to me. He let Slade take full blame for it and the only reason Slade isn’t in jail is because his car was stopped at the time of the accident.”

Payton nods, staring at the road ahead. “I don’t know what I can say…”

“It’s ok Pay, nothing can change it now.”

“What about the black eye?”

I sigh.

“I ran from the function when Michael told me about Slade. Anyway, Slade followed me and we got into a massive fight. He pushed me into his car, desperate to explain and he did. Then…well…”

Payton’s eyes widen but she doesn’t move them from the road, even though I know she wants to.

“What?”

“I slept with him Payton.”

“Oh…OH!”

“Yep, it was…god…Pay it was beautiful and I hate myself for it.”

“Why?”

“I shouldn’t be going there with Slade, he hurt me.”

“I know that honey, but you know what went on now, you know why he did it.”

“I know why he left, I just don’t know why he treated me badly for months before he left.”

“I know Dash, but you can’t keep running from what you want.”

I sigh and put my head in my hands.

“So how did sleeping with Slade result in a black eye? Does he like it rough?”

I chuckle and she smiles over at me. Trust Payton to lighten the mood.

“Well, I got out of the car and Lucas was there. He was coming to surprise me at the function, he knew I didn’t have a date.”

“Oh no.”

“He was so upset Pay, I feel so awful. They said some harsh words and got into a fight. I leaned down to separate them and Lucas threw a punch at Slade, hitting me instead.”

“Oh no…poor Lucas.”

I sigh. “I know, I don’t even know if he’s ok.”

“He’ll be ok, he’s tough.”

“I know, but I’ll never forgive myself if this damages him.”

Pay takes my hand and squeezes. “It’ll be fine honey, come on, you need to rest. Do you want me to take you home?”

“Yes please, thank you.”

She nods and we’re both silent on the way home. When we pull up, I see Lucas standing out the front of my unit. I stare out the window, feeling a deep pang of hurt in my chest.

“Are you sure you want to talk now?” Payton asks.

“I have to Pay, he’s my friend.”

She nods and leans over to hug me.

“Thank you, for everything,” I whisper.

“Always honey, call me if you need.”

I hug her once more and then slip out of the car. When her car disappears into the night, I begin slowly walking over towards Lucas. His face crumples in pain as he looks over my eye.

“Dash, I’m so sorry…”

I stare at his face with the same pain, Slade did a good job.

“Don’t be sorry, Lucas, I’m the one that should be sorry.”

Lucas reaches out and his fingers slide over my swollen eye.

“I never meant to hurt you…”

“I know that,” I whisper.

“Dash, I wanted to see you before…I leave.”

My heart seizes and I feel my mouth opening at his words. “What?”

“It’s not forever, I just have to go away for a while. You were right Dash, you’ve never led me on. After that night we had together, you made it very clear that you didn’t want more. This wasn’t your fault, it was me not listening to something so clearly laid down for me. I hurt you because I didn’t listen. I just need to go and have a month or two away, I need to clear my head.”

“Lucas, please,” I say, feeling a tear slide down my cheek.

He swipes it away. “This is not your fault, you’ve loved Slade since the moment I met you and I’ve always known that deep down. I hoped maybe you would stop, but you haven’t and that’s ok. It’s ok Dash because you can’t choose who you love.”

“I don’t want to lose you Lucas, if I lose you…”

He takes my face in his hands. “You won’t lose me Dash, I will come back and we will be friends. I just need time to get over this.”

“Do you promise?” I say in a small, damaged voice.

He pulls me in for a hug and I wrap my arms around him, letting more tears escape. “I promise,” he whispers.

When we pull back, he stares down at me for the longest moment, just taking in my face.

“Dash,” he begins. “You need to fix this with Slade, whatever it is. He loves you, it radiates off him. You love him too or you wouldn’t have let it go so far. You have to fix what was broken and fix yourself.”

I nod, swallowing. Lucas swipes away one more tear and then he walks past me and gets into his car. I spin around and call out his name. He stops and looks back over his shoulder at me.

“You know I love you Lucas, I always will.”

He forces a smile. “Yeah, I know.”

Then, just like that, he’s gone.