Racing for Freedom

chapter Fourteen





I hate today, I’ve hated this same day every year for three years now. It’s the day it all happened. It’s the day my life changed. It’s the day my father’s life changed. It’s the day we lost her, the person who made everything beautiful. I find it hard to drag myself out of bed, I don’t want to face it. I want to sleep it away and hope I can just move onto the next day quickly. I can’t do that though, I have to go and see her grave, to tell her I love her, even if she can’t hear me.

I throw my legs out of bed and peer around the dark room, I don’t know how to deal with this day sometimes. Each year, it almost seems to get worse instead of better. I stand and walk into the shower, turning it on. The water is freezing cold and I curse. Damn Slade, he always uses the hot water. I storm out of the room with a robe wrapped around me and pound on his bedroom door. A moment later he answers it, fully dressed. I can see Kandee behind him, sprawled out on his bed butt naked. Nice.

“You used all the hot water!” I snap before he can speak.

“Yeah, Kandee and I had a nice…long…shower.” He smirks.

“F*ck it Slade, it’s not your house! I don’t want a shower in cold water! You’re paying extra for that!”

He raises his brows at me. “Someone’s in a fine mood this morning.”

“F*ck you!”

He narrows his eyes now. “What’s the problem Dash? I just used the water, sorry, I won’t do it again.”

“The problem is you bringing that little…thing…around to my house and using all my water and eating all my food. You’re not paying much to live here Slade, the least you could do is be respectful.”

He moves away from the door and I’m about to curse at his rudeness when he returns with a wad of cash.

“Here,” he mutters, thrusting at me.

“I don’t want your money.”

He snorts. “Wow Dash, you’re really in fine form this morning. You don’t want my money but you want to abuse me because I waste your money.”

“Shut up Slade, just don’t do it again!”

“Whatever, are we done?”

I spin on my heel and storm off, furious at him and myself. I’m letting my emotions get the better of me, I need to slow down. I take a cold shower, resting my head on the tiles as I shiver half to death. The cold is a distraction though and I’m grateful for that. When I get out, Lucas is sitting in my room. He smiles gently over at me. He knows what this day is. Of course he would remember, he wasn’t even there and he remembers. Slade doesn’t remember, or maybe he just doesn’t care.

“Hey Dash, how are you feeling?”

“Not great, I’m so emotional, I just about tore Slade’s head off this morning for using the hot water.”

“It’s ok, you’re allowed to be upset.”

“I just don’t think I can deal with it,” I whisper, my voice too pained to use.

Lucas stands and walks over, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me to his chest. “You can deal with it, I’ll be with you the entire time.”

“Can I go to her grave alone? I just…I always do and…”

“Of course, I’ll be waiting right here, for you, when you get back.”

I nod, swallowing and sink further into him. He holds me like that a while, just stroking my back and murmuring to me. When I pull back, I take a deep breath and dress myself. I have to face this today, even though I don’t want to. When Lucas and I walk into the kitchen, Slade is getting coffee and Kandee is on the kitchen bench wearing his shirt, and by the looks of it, nothing else.

“Slade,” Lucas mutters.

“Lucas,” Slade smirks.

I pour myself a cup of coffee, keeping my eyes down. I can’t look at Slade right now, the fact that he doesn’t remember is causing my blood to boil. How could he forget? Did that night not change his life too?

“Still sour, Dash?” Slade says, stepping up beside me.

I flinch away and Lucas walks over, taking my arm and pulling me closer to him. “It’s ok, we’ll get this over with and go out for a nice lunch. Ok?”

“What are you talking about?” Slade says, staring at us.

Lucas glares at him and I slam my coffee mug down. My eyes burn with unshed tears as I look up at Slade.

“You don’t remember do you? You honestly are just a f*cking jerk, Slade.”

His mouth drops open and Kandee begins cursing at me but cuts off short when I snarl at her.

“If you speak to me like that in my house again, I’ll give you something to curse about. Slade, that bitch is not welcome in my house anymore.”

Kandee’s mouth drops open and Slade raises his brows but before either can answer, I am out the door. Lucas follows behind me, taking my arm, just as I get to my car. A light rain has begun to fall and the clouds are grey. I’m sure it rains every year on this day. Lucas takes my face in his hands and looks down at me with pained blue eyes.

“I am going to be right here, ok?”

I nod, biting my lip and then I slip into my car and drive off.