Chapter Thirty-two
Demetri
A shitty day was just made worse. I walked — correction —
I ran to Alyssa’s house, and now I was paying the price for staying
up half the night with her while she cried in my arms.
I kissed her on the forehead before I left. I even tucked her in
bed so she could rest.
It was a new day. Maybe things would start to get better?
As I turned the last corner that led me back to the
boardwalk, a camera went off and then another and another until I
was blinded by paparazzi.
“Demetri, you look terrible. Are you on drugs again?”
“Demetri! Did your girlfriend dump you?”
“Is the show canceled?”
“Where’s your brother?”
My mouth opened to give a snotty retort when I felt
someone’s arm around my shoulders. I looked up to see Jaymeson
grinning like a fool.
“Enough about AD2, let’s talk about me.” He pushed me
slightly out of the way and directly into Nat’s arms.
I shook as she held me and walked me to where Alec was
standing.
We walked in silence to the beach house. Nat kept holding
me close to her as if trying to protect me from all the crazy people
out there. And Alec, for once, didn’t joke about our relationship. He
didn’t say one damn thing, though it looked like the next person
who spoke was going to get punched in the face.
Finally, once we were in the safety of our own house, with
Bob at the door like some sort of guard dog, Alec lost it.
“What the hell, Demetri? You were out all night! You
weren’t answering you phone and you just disappeared! Nobody
knew where you were.”
“Sorry.” I sighed in exhaustion.
“You look like shit, man.”
“Thanks,” I croaked.
“Where did you go?”
“To hell and back, thanks for asking. Do we have any
coffee?”
Nat patted my hand. “I’ll run next door and get some. You
guys ran out yesterday.”
The room fell silent except for Nat’s footsteps on the
hardwood floor as she left our house and ran next door.
“I went to fix things with Alyssa.”
“And how’d that work out for you?”
“Does my shirt look like it has a rainbow on it? Are birds
chirping in the distance and butterflies flapping around my head?”
“That sucks, bro.”
“Wow, you really need to learn how to give better advice.” I
shook my head. “I’m just exhausted. I think I need five pounds of
coffee and at least a few hours of sleep before I can talk about it.”
“Oh,” came Nat’s voice. I turned around to see not just her
standing there but Mrs. Murray as well.
“Care to talk?”
“Care to medicate me?” I snapped.
“He’s tired,” Alec explained.
“Your choice, Demetri,” Mrs. Murray said.
Exhaustion finally hit the tipping point as I nodded my
head. I couldn’t speak. I felt like I was stuck in a terrible nightmare,
that at some point I’d wake up and Alyssa would be smiling again
in my arms.
“Coffee and then we talk and then medication?” The words
stumbled out in a slur.
Mrs. Murray smiled. “Yes to the first two, and no to the
last.”
“A guy can try.”
****
A half hour later I was in Mrs. Murray’s office sitting on the
floor. The coffee had woken me up a bit but not as much as I would
have liked.
It felt weird to be sitting in the exact same spot I’d sat in
every week and think about how much I’d changed.
When I first came to therapy I was a total ass.
Now I was a broken ass.
I wondered which was better?
I smirked at my own joke. Yup, completely exhausted.
“Something funny?” Mrs. Murray asked taking her seat.
“Life.”
“If you don’t laugh, you’ll cry, am I right?”
I nodded in agreement. “I don’t really know what to say. I
just spent the night holding the girl I love in my arms. Watching
pain rip through her heart almost killed me.”
“I need you to know something, Demetri.” Mrs. Murray
folded her hands across her lap and sighed. “I can’t be your
therapist anymore.”
“You’ve got to be kidding me. Are you seriously trying to
kill me?” I couldn’t believe she would drop this bomb on me after
the night I’d had! I was ready to unleash on her when she joined
me on the floor and then reached over and gave me a hug.
“I know your mom and dad are gone, Demetri. I know you
and Alec are alone. Sometimes people don’t need therapy. They
don’t even need to talk. They just need to be held. And you have
nobody to hold you, no adult to tell you how proud they are of
you. As your therapist I can tell you you’ve made great strides.”
She laughed and pulled away. “As Nat’s mother I want to
tell you that I am so proud of the man you have become, and I
know your parents would feel the same way. You are stronger than
you’ll ever know, and you will get through this, maybe not today,
maybe not tomorrow, but each day as you heal, the pain will
slowly dissipate and you’ll walk away from this feeling stronger
than before. “You want to know what makes life so beautiful?”
I shook my head.
“Pain. Pain makes life beautiful, because if we never had
pain, we’d never be forced to grow. You’ve been given your fair
share of pain, some of it self-inflicted, some of it just bad luck. But
as a therapist I have to believe there’s a reason for it, and as a mom
I know everything happens for a reason. Your pain matches your
destiny, and you, Demetri Daniels, have a great destiny.”
Unable to think of what to do I just stared at her and told
myself that guys don’t cry and that I’d been doing too much of that
lately.
After a few brief seconds I found my voice. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
“Oh, and you’re fired.”
“Finally.” Mrs. Murray winked. “You know you can talk to
me anytime, but you’ve been more of a son to me than my client
this last year.”
“Thanks for separating the two until I was ready.”
“I’m not a fan of overwhelming people just getting over
drug addictions.”
“That reminds me.” I snapped my fingers. “You got those
meds?”
“Go home, Demetri.”
I saluted her and walked out of the house feeling lighter
than I’d felt in years. The pain was still there, but now it was a
reminder of growth.
With a smile on my face I pulled out my phone and texted
Alyssa.
GOOD MRNING BEAUTIFUL! HW WAS UR NIGHT?
MINE WAS HORRIBLE EVEN WITH YOU BY MY SIDE. I WILL
LOVE YOU FOREVER. WHN UR READY U CAN FIND ME ON
THE CORNER W MY BUCKET.