It takes all my effort not to laugh as Blair’s mom gives us the ‘safe sex’ talk. Not because I think it’s funny, but because it's so fucking awkward and apparently my brain’s default setting in uncomfortable situations is to laugh. I’m studying the floor like it's the most fascinating thing I’ve ever seen as Susan’s asking me If I’ve packed condoms. I’m not sure if it's a trick question and I have no idea how to answer. The way I see it, whatever I answer I’m screwed: ‘Yes, don’t worry I’ve packed a bumper-sized box’ and she thinks I’m a sex-crazed pervert; ‘No ma’am, I haven’t’ and I’m an irresponsible prick.
“Mom, stop. We’re not kids. Relax.” I want to kiss Blair for jumping in and saving me but I still can’t look up.
“Just remember, I’m too young to be made a granny.” Her voice is light, but it has an edge to it that tells me she’d deadly serious.
I can’t help it, I release a stupidly loud laugh and both women’s heads snap to me and I’m done for. I giggle like a twelve-year-old girl and the more I try to stop, the less control I have over it. Blair kicks my foot in a ‘shut the hell up’ attempt and her mom catches the movement. She shakes her head at me and leaves the room muttering something to herself.
“What the hell was that?” Blair asks incredulously.
“I’m so sorry,” I manage to answer though bouts of laughter. “I laugh when I’m nervous…your mom giving us the sex talk made me really anxious.”
“She probably thinks you’re special now, you know.”
I raise an eyebrow. “I am.”
“Not that way, idiot…help me put my bags in the car.”
“Yes, ma’am.” I mock salute and make my way outside while she says goodbye to her mom.
“She said to tell you that if you get me pregnant she’ll put a hit out on you,” Blair announces as she gets into the car and buckles up.
“I don’t doubt that for a second, Princess.”
“Good, because she knows people.”
I’m well aware of the daggers her mom was shooting at me as I brought Blair’s luggage out. The thought that she might put a hit out on me doesn’t actually sound that far-fetched.
“Guess I’ll just have to double bag it then,” I say with a wink.
“Ewww, gross!”
“Whatever, you love it. So…you ready to go?”
“I am,” she says around a huge grin as she flicks the radio on and fiddles with the dial.
She settles on a station and leans her seat back, resting her feet on the dash. My eyes trace the length of her legs and notice her summer dress is bunching up at her thighs. I’m hard already and we’re not even off of her street. Shit. This is going to be one long ride.
WE’RE AT A gas station in the ass end of nowhere because I needed to pee. I’m looking at the rusty little old toilet key attached to a massive metal trash can lid, wondering to myself if I could maybe hold on until the next services.
“What you waiting for?” Ethan asks, emerging from the store chewing on red vines. I look across to the grubby-looking toilet blocks and then back to him.
“I don’t dare go in.”
“What, why?”
“Look at this place!” I whisper shout, “I’m probably gonna get murdered or raped if I go in there. I’m sure I saw something like this in a movie, you know… Girl stops at rundown services, asks to use the bathroom then she’s in there all of two minutes and when she comes out, she’s murdered by some weird trucker who’s been following her for the last hundred miles.”
“Wow!”
“What? It could happen.”
“That’s a pretty impressive imagination you got yourself there, little lady.”
I suppress a grin when I notice his whole mouth has been dyed red by the candy.
“I’m standing right here, Princess, nobody will come in.”
“But what if there’s somebody already lurking about inside, huh? Or a window at the back they could get in through?”
He raises his brows and looks at me like I’ve been smoking crack.
“Want me to come in with you?”
I look from him, to the ridiculous key in my hand, to the grubby toilet block.
“Yes.”
He smiles and lets out an amused chuckle, taking the key from me. I watch from behind his back as he unlocks the door to take a look around inside.
“All clear in here, come on in.”
I need to pee so bad that I’m trying to hold my legs together and walk at the same time. I pass him and shuffle into the cubicle, quickly locking the door and dropping my panties. The room’s completely silent and I realize that if I pee now, Ethan will definitely be able to hear it.
I’m torn because I don’t want him to leave me in here on my own, but at the same time, I’m nowhere near comfortable with him listening to me going to the toilet. There are lines that shouldn’t be crossed in a new relationship and I’m pretty sure this is one of them.
“Ethan?”
“Yeah?”