“I can’t, Princess, I need to get back. Keep to the usual routine of what my dad expects.” I can see the concern cross her face before she has time to mask it.
“I’ll be fine, promise,” I tell her with an air of confidence that doesn’t match how I’m feeling right now. I can’t bear the thought of her worrying herself over me. I want to be the person who makes her feel safe, makes her feel happy, makes her feel loved. Not the asshole that dumps all his baggage on her and brings her down. The more I’m with her, the more I’m becoming that person and I need to change that. She deserves someone better than me and if I weren’t such a selfish prick, I’d let her go and find it. I am a selfish prick though, so I don’t. I need her too much.
“Will you call me before you go to sleep tonight?”
“Sure I will…now, get going, it's getting late.” I smile as I lean across to push her door open.
“You trying to get rid of me?”
“Yes!” I deadpan. “I’m late for another date.”
She nips my side, making me jump.
“That’s not funny.” I’m sure she’s trying to do her best pissed-off glare but she’s ruining the effect with the slight grin tugging at her lips.
“It's not funny, you’re right. She’ll freak if I don’t show.” This time she nips me really fucking hard. “Argh, shit! Quit it, I’m sorry!” I’m wincing like a little bitch as she twists my nipple so hard it feels like it’s coming off. She narrows her eyes this time and pushes her face right up to mine, so close that her breath fans across me when she speaks, her fingers still holding my contorted skin in her vice-like grip.
“Unless you're not particularly fond of this nipple, you’ll take that back!”
“Fuck, Princess, I take it back, I take it back, just let go.” She releases her fingers and my hand shoots instantly up to my chest, rubbing the affected area. “Christ, that stings.”
She sits back into her seat with a self-satisfied smirk. “That’ll teach you to tease me.”
No shit it’ll teach me, I think to myself. “You’re mean but you’re hot, so I’ll let that slide.” I place a chaste kiss on her lips, careful to keep my arm across my chest protecting my goods.
“Night, Blair, I love you.” The words float from my lips like it's the most natural thing on earth to say to her. It feels right. Instead of the sudden sensation of fear and anxiety I thought might have happened, I feel comforted that she knows that I love her.
“Night baby.” She doesn’t say it back, and although I don’t expect her to, or even want her to say it until she means it, it kind of stings.
I’ve kept up with Mom’s fake little happy family show she’s been playing for my dad for the last few weeks. Blair and I are setting off for our trip in little over an hour, graduation is next week and then the end is in sight. Blair asks daily how everything is. My response is always the same: everything is going well; he doesn’t suspect that anything is going on. This seems to calm her, satisfy the nervousness. It's not the truth, though, at least not the whole truth.
He doesn’t know that Mom’s confessed to me, but everything is far from fine. He’s facing forced retirement at work and I’m his number one outlet for his frustrations. I won’t tell Blair that. The look on her face when she was crying at the beach will be forever etched in my mind. I refuse to ever make her look or feel that way again. If it means taking a few beatings and sucking it up, not telling anyone, then bring it on. I’ve done it for most my life. I’m good at it.
My car’s packed up and ready to leave, I’ve more or less emptied the contents of the fridge into a cooler on my back seat, downloaded a ton of new songs for the drive and I’m good to go. My cell beeps and I read the message from Blair.
From: Princess
I’ve been packed for the last three hours!!!
Any chance you’re about ready to go now?
I’m excited x
I smile to myself; I love that she’s this eager to spend time with me. I reply telling her I’m on my way and leave a note for my mom on the refrigerator with the campsite address. I’ve had too many run-ins with my dad and know better than to leave and not let them know where I am or when I’ll be back. The thought of being free of this house and all the bullshit that goes with it is a heady sensation. I jump in my car and feel the best that I have in a really long time, a full weekend alone with Blair is all I’ve thought about, it’s what has gotten me thorough these last few weeks. My girl is like magic.