“He is, isn’t he? Damn, he doesn’t happen to have some long lost brother out there, does he?”
“DIBS IF HE HAS!” Brie practically screams, and the older couple sitting at the table across from us shoots death glares as they’re wiping up the coffee they’d spilled at Brie’s outburst.
“Okay, so I’m not giving you the sordid details. Sorry, but it's not happening. All you're getting is that it happened and it was amazing. That’s it, end of discussion.”
“You suck,” Brie says with a huge grin, and then, just like that, the conversation switches to the purchases we’ve just made, and what shirt to wear with which pair of pants. I relax into the sofa with my mocha and fight the urge to go to sleep.
“Blair, is that you?” my mom calls as I struggle to get through the front door with all my shopping bags. I’d rather risk my wrists breaking than have to make two trips.
“Yeah, it’s me.” I burst through the door into the family room and drop myself onto the sofa dramatically, letting the bags fall at my feet.
“Hard day’s shopping?” she says with a surprised look.
“I’m never going to the mall with Brie and Casey again; it was like some mad endurance challenge or something!”
Mom laughs and shakes her head. “Ah you just take after your father, if I was in a store longer than five minutes he’d complain.”
“Yeah, well Dad was a smart man.”
She smiles warmly at the memory. “So, I’m guessing you were buying stuff for your trip with Ethan. I don’t see any Agent Provocateur bags; I guess I can sleep easy tonight.”
It’s one of those moments when you really don’t know how to act: do I laugh and joke with her that it’s hidden in another bag, or do I panic and bail? I’m thinking the latter when she laughs at me.
“Relax, Blair, I was joking. How was the party?”
This is where I need to decide whether or not to confide in her that I lost my virginity. When I was younger, Mom and I were really close, much more so than we are now. When I hit fourteen and got my period, my hormones were all over the place and the doctors suggested I start on birth control to regulate it. Mom decided to my complete and utter embarrassment that she should give me the sex talk. We made a pact that when I did lose my virginity, (and if it was before I was legal she’d kill me!) I would tell her. I always thought that I probably wouldn’t, but agreed to it anyway. Now that the moments arrived, I feel a strange urge to keep my promise.
I take a deep breath and look her in the eyes. She smiles softly at me; it's a knowing smile, one that tells me she knows what I’m about to say.
“Ethan and I slept together.” I blurt the words out as if they’re burning my throat.
“Thank you for telling me that, sweetheart.” I can’t tell if the emotion I’m seeing is sadness that I’ve had sex, or admiration that I actually kept my promise and told her.
She crosses the room and takes a seat next to me, pulling me in for a hug and she grips me so tightly it feels like she’s worried I might disappear. She sniffs and I realize that she’s crying. My stomach bottoms out and I pull back and look at her.
“I’m sorry if I’ve disappointed you bu—” she cuts me off shaking her head.
“Blair, you haven’t disappointed me at all. I’m crying because I’m a silly emotional old woman who just realized her baby’s not a baby anymore, no matter how much I wish she was.” Her breathing stutters and she wipes at the corner of her eyes. “You did use protection, right?”
“Yes, we used protection, Mom.”
“Good girl, I hope he realizes the gift you’ve given him. I’ll put a hit out on him if he breaks your heart.”
I laugh and she pulls me back against her and cuddles me once more. It’s my turn to start crying now and she smiles at me. “Look at the two of us. We must look crazy.”
“Who cares,” I say. “I love you.”
“Aw, sweetheart, I love you too—so, so much.” She pats my back and then stands.
“Come on then, let me help you take these bags to your room.”
I sigh as I realize that for all her faults, and all of mine, for that matter, I’m pretty blessed to have this woman as my mom.
Mom left me to put away the clothes I was railroaded into buying with Casey and Brie. I’m now sitting at my desk staring down at Emily’s list. I’m poised with pen in hand, ready to cross off #10. Lose my V card (Ideally Ethan Jamison!) The irony that he is actually my boyfriend is not lost on me.