Playing Patience

Seventeen



Zeke



Go back to your shitty little trailer park. I wanted to see if what they said about you was true, and now that I see it isn’t, I’m done messing around with you.

Patience’s words bounced around my head the entire ride home. The look in her eyes wasn’t right, but I couldn’t tell if she meant it or not. Either way, I was done. She was right. We were from two different worlds and I needed to stay in my zone.

Once I got home, I went straight to bed, but I couldn’t sleep. My thoughts were a scrambled mess. Part of me wanted to go kidnap Patience and keep her safe from her a*shole of a father, and the other part of me knew that I should just drop it and hope that she was okay.

When I closed my eyes, all I could see was her face in ecstasy and the way she looked after we kissed. I’d never had a woman look at me with so much emotion in her eyes. I’d also never had someone cut me so deep with their words. I’m not sure when she got that capability, but I was positive it happened during our kiss.

I hated to admit it to myself, but I was falling for her and from the way she looked at me, I thought for sure she felt the same way, but then she freaked out and I couldn’t understand why or what was happening.

The one thing I did know was that something wasn’t right. Patience was hiding something. Whether it was a severe psychological disorder or the fact that her dad beat her, she was definitely hiding something.

The next day I stayed home all day. I knew it was a bad idea being stuck in the house with my dad, but after the night I had, I had too much on my brain and that last thing I wanted to do was hang around anyone. I’d be shitty company.

I was sitting on the couch, playing my acoustic guitar and thinking about my mom, when my dad came in the door from a tow run. Needing to be out of the same space as him, I got up to go to my room. He never gave me that chance. Instead, he went straight for the fight.

I’m not sure if seeing my guitar with my mom’s handwriting all over it set him off or what, but he said nothing. He didn’t give me any reason for this fight. I pushed my guitar out of the way and covered myself. Except this time was different, this time he didn’t just try to break me; he also broke things around us. He threw a plate against a wall like a Frisbee, and then tossed the coffee table across the room in a heated rage.

“You look just like her!” he spat in my face.

My cheek exploded when he brought his fist down on it and I tasted blood, but I ignored it all. I zoned out and I would’ve stayed zoned out had I not heard Patience’s voice.

At first, I thought I was losing my mind. I thought maybe I conjured up the sounds of her soothing voice as a survival mechanism. But then I peeked up and saw her standing in front of me and I knew she was real.

She stood in front of my dad like a petite avenging angel. Her blue glare cut into him as if her vision could cut him in half, and her tiny fists were balled up like she was minutes away from kicking some ass. It was the most heartwarming and frightening thing I’d ever seen.

My dad’s large frame towered over here. His shadow crept across her face, and still, she held her ground. Her T-shirt strained against her puffed out chest and her cheeks flushed with anger as she stared him square in the eye.

“Don’t you dare hit him again!”

My dad looked down at her like she was a joke at first. Too much beer had obviously riddled his brain. Shaking his head, he adjusted his vision.

I remember telling her to let it go, I remember him pushing her to the side and saying something rude as f*ck, but the minute I saw him hit her, a rage that I’d never known struck me. I didn’t feel anything anymore. All I knew was he had to die.

I watched as her head snapped to the side before she went down. In that moment something cracked inside me, something other than a rib or a wrist. This time it was something deep set inside my soul. It cracked and crumbled into miniature pieces of fury.

I didn’t wait for him to come at me. Instead, I went straight for him. My fist connected to his cheek and for a second he looked at me, shocked. Years of abuse and I’d never so much as lifted my hand to him, but he crossed a line and on the other side of that line was a new me—a me that would kill someone before I let them hurt Patience.

My anger was fueled by years of being his punching bag. I saw images of him hitting my mother, images of his fist coming toward me, and finally, the image of Patience going down after he hit her ran through my mind over and over again. I couldn’t have stopped if I wanted to.

He could hit me all he wanted. I’d get my ass kicked every day if that was the way it was, but I drew a thick, black line at Patience. She was the only good thing, a slice of sunlight in my eternal night, snowflakes in my hell, and I’d do whatever it took to protect her from me and my world. I’d kill him for putting his hands on her.

I’d been so blinded by my red-hot rage that I didn’t even realize what I picked up. I didn’t know that I’d used my most prized possession to take my dad down. Heartbreak unlike any other ripped through me when I pulled back the broken pieces of string and wood, and tears threatened to break through.

Patience knew about my guitar. She was the only other person in the world besides my dad who knew. When I looked over at her and showed her the broken parts of the favorite memory with my mom, her face told me she understood the massiveness of what I’d just done.

My eyes met fair skin that was starting to swell and again I felt my anger rise. Breathing deep, I tried to squash it before I did something really stupid. The corner of my mouth burned and the taste of blood was on my tongue, but I was more worried about her.

Every time I looked at her, I felt like my skin was melting from my bones. I didn’t find relief until she came to me and touched me. It’s so funny. For years my dad abused me and not once had I ever truly felt angry about it, but one hit to Patience and I wanted his blood on my hands.

I thought I’d never see her again, but she was here and she was here to see me. Even after the drama from the night before, she still wanted to see me. So when she said she wouldn’t leave without me, I knew I had to go with her. I walked away from my dad’s house with barely any money in my pocket and a bag full of anything that would fit.

The strangest thing was, when we got to my car and she tried to pull away, I almost couldn’t let her go. The world felt like a jumbled mess. I felt nauseated just being a part of it, but when she was near me or touching me everything stopped spinning and I was filled with a heavy dose of clarity.

Looking through the rearview mirror, I took her in as she followed behind me in the car I didn’t know she had. I had no idea where I was going. I just knew as long as she was with me I’d be okay. The idea of needing someone to hold me together scared me shitless, but it was out there. There was no taking it back now. I needed Patience and I couldn’t shake the feeling that somehow she needed me too.

My El Camino threw out a puff of smoke when I cut the engine in front of the cheapest motel in town. Patience stood by the door in the front office as I paid for two nights. I could’ve stayed with Finn, but I wasn’t the kind of person to live up on my friends.

The lady behind the counter handed me my room key then smiled sheepishly at Patience. I grinned over at her when her cheeks filled with fire. She followed me to my room and I held the door open for her as we entered the dark room.

“I should probably go.” She picked at her fingernails.

I threw my bag onto the queen-sized bed then turned to her. Covering her hands with mine, I stopped her from picking at her nice fingernails.

“Don’t,” I said simply.

I wasn’t sure if she realized I was asking her to stay, but she looked up at me through those long lashes of hers and I almost forgot I was officially homeless. I almost forgot that I laid my dad out cold and destroyed the last thing I had from my mother. I couldn’t seem to remember anything from the last few hours.

Pushing aside a thick piece of blond bangs, I let my thumb skim her swelling cheek.

“I’m so sorry, snowflake.” I swallowed hard.

I’d never felt more like a failure in my entire life. I let her down. He should’ve never been able to get near her.

“You did nothing wrong, Zeke.” She covered my hand with hers.

Turning her face into my palm, she closed her eyes and smiled.

“I never thought I’d enjoy this so much,” she whispered.

“Enjoy what?”

She rubbed my palm with her cheek again.

“Your touch.” She grinned up at me.

“Well, since you like it that much…” I said as I wrapped my other arm around her waist and pulled her close to me.

Her body fit to mine with perfection. It made me question every other woman I’d ever touched in my life. My hand shifted from her cheek and down her neck and my eyes took in her full, pouty mouth. After last night’s kiss, kissing Patience didn’t seem like a tragedy. If anything, her kisses were tiny miracles. They turned the a*shole inside me into a big teddy bear.

The smell of her hair filled me when I leaned in and ran my nose up the side of her neck. She stiffened in my arms, but pulled me closer at the same time. When I got to her ear, I laid a tiny kiss on her earlobe.

“I’m going to kiss you now,” I whispered my warning.

I’d been thinking about kissing her since the moment the last kiss ended.

I felt a shiver run through her body and I knew I’d won the opportunity for another kiss. Her skin felt smooth against my lips as I ran them across her cheek to get to her mouth. When I pressed my lips to hers, she leaned into my kiss and exhaled a hard breath through her nose.

It was small, not much more than us pressing our mouths together, but it was enough. Everything was enough when it came to her. Her hand tightened in the back of my shirt and she wrapped her other arm around me. I pulled away first, not because I wasn’t enjoying it, but because my mind went into sexual overdrive. I didn’t want to get to a point where I pushed her too far.

I nudged her nose with mine and grinned down at her.

“I’m pretty sure I’ll never get tired of that,” she murmured.

“Only pretty sure?” I teased

“Okay, I’m absolutely positive I’ll never get tired of that.” She smiled.

“That’s more like it.” I gave her another quick peck. “But now, I must shower.”

Snatching up my bag, I dug through it for a fresh pair of clothes. I handed her the remote to the TV.

“Occupy yourself while I go in the bathroom and get naked and wet.” I winked at her.

She laughed and set down the remote.

“Actually, I have to get home.” She shrugged. “School tomorrow and everything. You have my number if you need anything.”

I didn’t want her to leave. My life was getting crazy, and if I were being honest with myself, I didn’t really want to be alone. But instead of saying anything and looking like a total punk, I shook my head.

“I guess I’ll see you around?”

“Hopefully.” She shyly shrugged and looked away.

After Patience left, I took a hot shower and watched sitcoms on the crappiest TV known to man. An hour after that, the sun had gone down and I was dying from boredom.

I picked up my phone and texted Patience.



Me: FYI, you’re missing a great party over here.

Patience: I am?

Me: Not really. I’m bored.

Patience: Oh, and here I was thinking you texted me because you were thinking about me.

Me: If I texted you every time I thought about you, I’d never stop texting.

Patience: You’re so full of it.

Me: You should be full of it.

Patience: Pervert

Me: You like it.

Patience: Maybe

Me: Come spend the night with me. No sex. Just hanging out.

My phone was silent for almost an hour. I was about to doze off when she responded and I couldn’t stop myself from getting excited.

Patience: OK. On the way.