I’ve been frugal since starting to work. I’ve spent only what I needed to over the years. I guess I’ve been afraid of my life blowing up again and having nothing to fall back on. I’ve saved a lot and can afford to go to the UK for a few months without working. Although I think I will get a job as soon as possible – with my funds limited, I don’t want to risk running my money down too low and being unable to find something.
The one great benefit of my birth father being British, is that I can get a British passport. I have dual citizenship.
I spend my evenings online, pouring over information about the UK. I search the area where my father lives, and where I think I might like to stay. The idea of having a new start in life and leaving every person who ever knew me before, is glorious to me.
For the first time in years. I’m actually smiling.
Chapter Forty-Eight
My life in Australia has been packed up and either stored or given away. I don’t need it anymore.
On the other side of the world is a new life. It’s there waiting for me. No more looking over my shoulder. No more seeing places that remind me of what I’ve done, or who I was – it’s all going to be new.
With a duffel bag that I purchased from the camping store, filled with the basics. I set off to the airport.
I haven’t told a soul where I’m going. I don’t want anyone to know where I am. As the cab approaches the international departure building at Sydney Airport, butterflies dance excitedly through my entire body.
I check my bag, and get my boarding pass. Then go and sit in the waiting area near my departure gate, while I listen to my music and leaf through a fashion magazine. Glancing up occasionally, I watch as other passengers take the seats around me. I smile to myself, as a striking looking man sits not far away from me. He actually looks as though he should be pictured in this magazine with a tall skinny girl draped over him and pouting. He seems at odds with the normal looking people around him.
Around forty minutes later, a voice comes over the loud speaker, and tells us that our flight is boarding. People around me begin to collect their things and line up, as their seat numbers are called.
I’m nervous, and keep looking at my ticket, scared that I might forget my seat number and miss my call. I’ve never flown before, so this is all very new to me.
Finally the woman’s voice says the group of numbers that features my own, and I move quickly to get on board. I’m desperate to start this journey. This journey means everything to me.
As I take my seat on the plane, I struggle to keep the grin off my face. Surreptitiously, I slide my hand into the back of my shirt and touch my tattoo. Proud that I’m getting out and feeling as though, finally, my old life won’t touch me or her memory ever again.
Chapter Forty-Nine
Five hours into my flight and my optimism is starting to fail me. I’ve been sat next a rather large woman who has a penchant for mind numbing conversation. She’s now told me her entire family history and has started to ask me about mine.
Of course, I’m not going to share my history with her. Instead, I tell her the modified version I’ve been using lately.
“My family are all dead,” I reply after doing my best to avoid her questions for nearly twenty minutes. I get that she’s just trying to make conversation to pass the time. But the flight from Sydney to Heathrow Airport is almost a day in length.
I don’t have it in me to talk to her for that long.