My hand flies up in an attempt to still the thudding of my chest. “I thought you were at work,” I tell Matthew, who has appeared in the doorway in his trademark sleepwear. He’s leaning against the doorframe, and I wonder how long he’s been there, watching me.
“I pulled a double shift and swapped with someone,” he explains. “Why? You trying to avoid me?”
“I’ll um… go and read in the bedroom,” I say instead of answering, as I rise from the couch.
“You don’t have to. Please don’t hide from me.”
I stop where I am and turn toward him. “You ask too many questions.”
“I just want to get to know you. We live in the same house, and I don’t know much about you.”
“Matthew, every interaction we’ve had has been very tense. I understand that you may not want me around, but Ed does. So I’m staying. Ok.”
“I understand that. But you keep avoiding me and never answer any of my questions.”
“That’s because you ask the wrong ones.”
“But they’re important. Will you answer just one?” He moves closer to me, and I feel mesmerised by his eyes.
“Just one,” I whisper, giving in to him.
“What’s your name?”
“What?” I frown.
“I want to know your name.”
“It’s Linda. You know that.”
“No. It’s not,” he says, moving closer to me. “When I first met you, you hesitated before telling me your name. I know it’s not Linda. Just like I know you aren’t twenty two.”
Tears prick behind my eyes. “Why are you doing this?”
He steps even closer. So close that I can feel his warm breath on my face. “Because. I have to know,” he whispers, a slight frown creasing his brow as he lifts his hand to move my hair back. “Just like I have to know why your face was bruised.” His deep blue eyes move side to side as he searches my face for answers. “Tell me your name,” he whispers. His eyes demand an answer from me and I feel like I’m trapped.
“Paige. My name is Paige,” I breathe out, squeezing my eyes shut so I can’t see his anymore.
He rests his forehead against mine and lets out his breath. “Thank you.”
When he moves back, I’m shaking, and confused. This man is so intense that it’s scary. How can he act like he doesn’t even like me one minute, but when we’re alone it’s like he’s trying to get to know my soul, just by staring at me?
He leaves me standing in the lounge room and disappears into the kitchen. I blink rapidly, trying to stop myself from crying. The interaction has rattled me.
I rush down the hall toward the bedroom and start to pack my things. I obviously need to get out of here.
The benefit of not owning much is that it doesn’t take me long. I walk quickly and quietly down the hall and head for the front door.
“What are you doing?” Matthew asks from behind me.
“I can’t stay here anymore. Tell Ed I’m sorry ok.” I put my hand on the door knob and start to open the door, but he rushes me and pushes it shut.
“Paige. I don’t want you to go.”
I lean my head forward and press my forehead against the door. The sound of my real name, after months of pretending to be someone else affects me. Tears spring from my eyes, and I drop my bag before turning to face him.
“Please stop!” I cry. “I don’t know what’s going on right now. You’re confusing the hell out of me.” He stands so close to me that it fogs my mind. “Just stop. I can’t breathe around you!”
I place my hands on his chest and push, but he doesn’t budge. Instead he places his hands either side of me so I’m trapped against the door.
We’re breathing heavy, and we haven’t done anything except stare and be near each other.
One of his hands moves and takes me by the base of my skull, bringing my face closer to his. The moment our mouths connect every orgasm I’ve missed out on with Ed starts to bubble to the surface, and I’m suddenly desperate.
I wrap my arms tightly around him as he pulls my body up against his and slides his hands underneath my shirt, so he’s touching the skin on my back.