Obviously, I fell asleep at some point because as I open my eyes, light is shining around the edges of the dark curtains. I squeeze my eyes shut tight as the memory of the night before enters my mind. I feel sick.
Looking over at the still sleeping Ed, I try not to disturb him as I slide out of the bed and pick up my clothes. I want to get out of here and pretend this never happened.
He wakes as I’m wriggling into my dress.
“Hey,” he says groggily. “Hope you’re not trying to sneak out on me.”
“No, I’d never do something like that,” I laugh uneasily, even though that’s exactly what I was going to do. After last night, I’m not sure if sleeping with someone for the sake of a bed is something I can do. In the cold light of the morning, I feel dirty and cheap. I’m going to have to try to figure something else out.
“Where you going?”
“Just to the bathroom,” I lie.
“Hurry back,” he tells me smiling as he leans up on his elbow to look at me properly. He truly is very handsome, with his dark hair messed up from sleep and his features all soft for the same reason. I feel a slight affection for him and nod my head. Now that he’s caught me leaving, I kind of have to come back.
When I make it to the bathroom, I relieve myself and then check my reflection in the mirror. I wish now that I had collected my bag from the night club as the bruise on my cheek is visible since my makeup has worn off.
In an attempt to look presentable, I brush my teeth with some paste on my finger and use some wet tissue and soap to remove the smeared remnants of last night’s makeup, then rake my fingers through my hair to try to calm the wild curls.
“That’ll have to do,” I say to my reflection when I’m done, although I wish I had something to cover the bruise. It's faded, but still noticeable.
For a while, I just stare at myself, taking in the person that I am now. I’m looking at a girl, who last night, stole someone’s name and possessions, and then gave herself freely for the sake of a bed.
Is this the kind of person I want to be? I briefly wonder if maybe I should go and find a brothel that’ll hire me. At least then I’d get paid for what I just did. But the mere thought of selling my body for actual cash seems wrong to me.
As much as I hate what I just did, I can at least reason that I was attracted to Ed. That I chose to sleep with him. I still have a small amount of power in my life. It might not be much, but it’s still there.
Leaving the bathroom, I run almost headfirst into Ed’s house mate. I recognise him immediately from the club as the guy he told we were leaving.
“Morning,” I nod as I peer up at his face. The hallway is narrow, and I need him to move so I can get past.
A frown creases his brow as his eyes move over me. “How old are you?”
“Twenty-two,” I answer immediately, trying to hold his gaze steady, so he can’t see the nerves that are shooting through my body and making me sweat.
“What happened to your face?”
I smile and try to play coy. “Well that’s not what a girl wants to hear first thing in the morning.”
He lets a short laugh out of his nose and reaches up to move my hair. “Your face is bruised. What happened?”
The moment his fingers touch my skin, I suck in my breath. There’s something about the way he’s looking at me that makes me feel uneasy. It's like he can see right through me.
“Nothing happened. Can I get past now please?” I all but whisper. He stares at me and keeps me trapped for a moment longer, then steps aside. Just enough to let me through, although I have to press against his body before I’m free.
“What’s your name?”
“Uh, it’s um… Linda,” I stammer.
“Mathew.”