“Nice to meet you Linda.”
Ed isn’t much of a dancer, but after a few drinks and a lot of talking, I’ve learnt that he’s twenty-three and lives with a friend in Petersham. He’s perfect. Even if it’s only for tonight.
Before long, we’re in the back of the night club, with me pressed up against the wall as he works his mouth against mine. I can feel his erection pressing into me and wrap my arms around his body to pull myself closer to him.
He breaks the kiss and rests his forehead against mine. “God you’re beautiful,” he comments.
Grinning, I slide my hands up into his thick hair. “Do you want to get out of here?” I ask boldly.
My heart thuds nervously against my chest as I wait for his answer.
A smile curls the side of his lips as he brings his mouth back down to mine, kissing me briefly. “Yeah. I want to get out of here. Yours or mine?”
“Yours.”
Taking my hand, he leads me past his friends and leans in to tell one of them that we’re leaving. The friend leans around him to get a look at me. His eyes drag up and down my body slowly. He gives Ed a curt nod, but keeps his eyes on me. My heart stops for a moment. He’s intense. Even more intense than Ed was when he was watching me. Although he kind of seems annoyed. I’m getting a strange vibe from him. He snatches his eyes away from me and smiles at Ed, giving him one of those congratulatory man handshakes.
I feel as though I’m being watched as Ed leads me out, but I don’t dare turn around. I need to focus on the man I’m with.
As we pass the coat check, I’m about to stop and get my jacket and bag, but realise that if he sees me with a backpack full of clothing, it’s likely that he’ll figure out exactly what I’m doing with him.
Instead, I walk straight past and hope that when I come back, everything will still be there.
Chapter Seventeen
I’m not completely na?ve. I know that not every man is good in bed, and I always suspected that Jeff was the exception. But it wasn’t until last night, that I actually understood why some women complain about sex.
Ed was all over me in the cab on the ride back to his place and the moment he brought me into his apartment, we were all hot and heavy. His kissing is amazing. I at least have to give him that. He moves his tongue around my mouth harmoniously with my own and sucks gently on my lips as he comes up for air. It’s all very sensual and had me writhing under his touch, as his hands started to roam my body, and cup my breasts and buttocks.
He held me firmly against his body, so we fit snuggly together, and I was eager to get him undressed.
But, once we were naked. Everything went downhill. We lay down on the bed together, and kissed and touched some more. But when he moved his hand between my legs, his fingers entered me briefly, testing my level of wetness before he moaned a little, applied a condom and then entered me missionary style. He pumped for less than a minute before blowing with a shudder of his body and a hiss of his mouth. Then collapsed in a sweaty heap on top of me.
I optimistically ran my fingers up and down Ed’s back and gripped him with my internal muscles, hoping to bring him back to life like I had with Jeff so many times before. But when he rolled onto his back suddenly, the guttural sound of his snoring made me realise that it was all over. I was so disappointed, and for the first time since he threw me out. I missed Jeff. I missed what we had together before things turned sour.
It was incredibly hard to sleep as I was so close to tears. Hatred was too busy boiling around inside of me. I hate what I just did. I hate my reasons behind it. I hate my life, and even more - I hate myself.