“He scares you,” Maysie piped up, grinning at me as she shoved a handful of popcorn into her mouth. She needed to keep that mouth full because I wasn’t appreciating her on the nose analysis of my internal conflict.
I made a noise that sounded like I was choking. “Scared? Give me a break, Mays. Annoyed? Yes. Frustrated? You betcha. Ready to take off someone’s head? Looking more and more like a definite,” I said in warning. “But never, ever scared,” I said with more conviction than I felt.
Maysie chuckled. “Oh yes he does. He gives you butterflies. He makes you sweat. He calls you on your bullshit and keeps you on your toes. You both love and hate how he does that. He has you tied up in knots and you can’t get out. And Miss I-Have-My-Whole-World-Figured-Out is going crazy because of it. So you’ve gone into shut down. You’re forcing Damien down your throat in an effort to deny what you know is there.” Maysie seemed entirely too pleased with herself.
I opened my mouth to say something but she cut me off…again! “I’m not saying this to be mean, but Riley, you’ve become your own worst enemy. I know you think Garrett has nothing to offer. That you’re embarrassed by the fact that you actually like him. But he’s a good guy. He’s a smart guy. And there is no one else in this world that would lay everything at your feet the way that he would. Remember that when you’re sitting at that poetry reading later, trying to convince yourself that being there with Damien is the right thing. Because Damien wasn’t the guy who drove you over a hundred miles in the middle of the night to see your dad. Damien wasn’t the guy who stayed with you at the hospital while you tried to keep your family together.”
My throat felt uncomfortably tight and I blinked rapidly to try and hold off the tears. I will not cry!
“And remember he’s the guy who has made you feel like you’re worth all the hassle. That no matter what you dish out, he is there to take it. To volley it right back and is there to go toe to toe anytime you’re ready.” Maysie squeezed my hands. “Damien wasn’t that guy for you. Garrett is,” she said softly and I closed my eyes and tried to take a deep breath around the huge, crushing weight in my chest.
“Enough, Maysie. Seriously, just enough already,” I begged. I didn’t want to hear any of this. I couldn’t.
Maysie looked disappointed by my refusal to hear her. “I just would like you there tonight. Jordan would like you there. Garrett would like you there. I know that matters to you, whether you want to admit it or not,” she said confidentially.
I didn’t bother to say anything else. I gave my best friend a final look of frustration before going back into the living room to join Damien on the couch again. I tried not to cringe as he put his arm around me.
Maysie’s punch in the gut small talk had done a number on me. I could barely sit in the same room with Damien with her words ricocheting around in my head.
“You’re not really thinking of going to that concert, are you?” Damien asked, flipping through the TV channels like he lived there. Another of the many Damien personality quirks that drove me nuts.
TV domination was definitely at the top of the list.
Reaching over, I grabbed the remote from his hand and purposefully turned it to an over the top reality show that we both abhorred. Damien made a face. “Since when do you watch this mind rot?” he asked dismissively.
“Since you and I stopped spending every waking hour together,” I shot back, turning up the volume.
Damien rolled his eyes but didn’t comment. “So we’re going to the poetry reading, right?” he asked, moving the conversation back to our evening plans and Maysie’s arm twisting suggestion of going to see Generation Rejects play.
Damien seemed so hopeful and eager that I couldn’t say no. It would be like throwing a puppy into oncoming traffic. “Sure, poetry reading. Sounds groovy,” I replied, knowing that it was by far the safer option.
Being in the same room as Garrett left way too much potential for explosion.