Chapter 18
"Maybe you should just reconsider, Jess." Bryce is sitting on the edge of my bed, his heels resting on one of the many cardboard boxes that are now cluttering my space. "You've been looking for more than a week now. There's nothing out there."
"There are places," I correct him as I rest my head on my pillow. "They're all just out of my price range."
"I'd move with you but I'm going to pop the question to Trudy soon and then we'll get a place of our own." His entire face glows with the announcement. Every single time I see him with his girlfriend, I feel a slight pang of envy race through me. They're so happy and content and their history isn't clouded with lies, mysteries and secrets. That's what I want.
"There is one place I can afford to live," I whisper. I haven't even really wrapped my head around the concept yet, but now is as good a time as any to talk to Bryce about it.
"With Nathan?" The scowl on his face speaks more than the tone of his voice.
"No," I scoff. I had considered that option for a hot two seconds before I walked out of his apartment last week. Since then, I've ignored most of his text messages and calls. He wants me to reinvest myself in him again and that stock has crashed enough times that I know I'll just end up burned to an emotional crisp. Men, like Nathan Moore, don't change. It's simple.
"Where then?"
"I'm thinking I should just go back home." It's a coward's plan. When I lived in Connecticut everything was easy. Josh was so uncomplicated and right now I miss that. I don't necessarily miss him but the simplicity that life there offers me is beckoning me like a lighthouse in the dark sea.
"That's not an option." Bryce is on his feet, his hands firmly planted on his hips. "You're going to run away?"
"It's not running." Who exactly am I trying to convince? "It's more about trying something on for size and then realizing it doesn't fit so you return it."
"You're complicated." He laughs. "You can't go back there. You left there for a reason. Don't forget it."
"It's easier there," I confess. "I can just live without all the drama. I can go back to being an EMT."
"When I came to New York I was scared shitless." His expression is even and serious. "You and Rebecca helped me see it's where I belong."
"I don’t belong here."
"You're not running away from the city, Jess." He doesn't mince words. "You're running away from him."
***
"Are you opposed to me just using you for sex?" I clench my fist in his hair as he circles my * with his tongue.
"No," he whispers into my folds. "Use me however the f*ck you want, Jessica."
"If I come over here just to get f*cked once a week, that's okay?" I lean back on his bed and let the pleasure rip through me.
He shakes his head slightly and the sensation pushes me closer to the edge. "You need to come over every f*cking day."
I chuckle at the idea. "This is so good," I moan through parted lips. "Please, lick it like that."
He shifts his large body and cups my ass in his palm so he can lick me harder. "So good."
"I'm going to come." I don't need to say it. I know he can feel it. I know he senses it just by the way my body tenses when he's touching me.
"Slow down," he pants as he licks my folds softly. "I don't want you to come yet."
"Nathan." I pull on his hair causing him to wince. "Please, lick me harder."
"I'd give anything to do this every day. Let me wake up to this, Jessica. This is my heaven." He pulls my * between his lips and sucks hard.
I race to the edge with an uninhibited scream. "Oh, God. Nathan." I can't control the words. I can't control the way it feels.
He crawls up my body so he's hovering above me. "I was tested." The words are foreign and misplaced in the moment. "Let me f*ck you like this."
I look down at his engorged cock. "No." I can't. I won't.
"I haven't f*cked anyone else in months, Jessica. Jesus, please. Give me this," he's pleading. His voice is coarse and rough from want. "You have to take the f*cking pill. Tell me you do."
I nod as I stare at his cock. I want to feel it like that too. "Do you have proof?" Did I really just ask that right now?
"Proof that my dick is clean?" He's leaning back on his heels now. One hand is slowly stroking his cock, the other circling my *.
"Yes," I moan as he pushes his index finger into me. "Oh, yes."
"You don't believe that I'm clean?" He groans as he slides another finger next to the first. "You're so f*cking tight I can't stand it."
"You say things…" I can't talk. I'm close to coming again already. "You say things…"
"You're so smooth and slick." His eyes are blazing with desire as he kneads his fingers within me. "I want so much to shoot my load in this beautiful body so you can feel my cum inside of you."
"Nathan." The shamelessness of his words spurs me closer. "Don’t say that."
"I've never filled any woman with my cum before." His breath is on my lips now. "I want to with you. Let me, Jessica."
I push my hips from the bed to grab more of him. I want him to take me to the edge again. I need to come. "Christ, Nathan."
"This is all mine." He clenches his hand around and in my sex. "Mine." The animalistic growl that flows through the word sends me into the center of an intense orgasm. I cling to his body as I scream out his name.