He looked away again and swallowed loudly, his shoulders taut and hurting. The bottle was so heavy and almost felt alien to him. He used to live off this stuff, but now it was foreign and he didn’t want it. A part of him hoped that he wouldn’t have drunk it if Elli hadn’t come to his truck, but the other part wasn’t so sure.
“Now smash it,” she said again and he held the bottle up, looking long and hard at it. It was sort of astonishing how something as simple as a colored liquid could make him neglect everything. It was also pathetic how badly he thought he needed it. Truth was, he didn’t. All he needed was the love and support of the people he loved. He knew if he had taken that drink, he would have been failing Kacey all over again and, for the first time, Mena.
And then himself.
He couldn’t do that any longer. He wanted to be a good man, he wanted to fight for it, so he slammed the bottle against the curb and it burst, glass flying as the fiery liquor spilled along the road. He stood there, watching as the liquid ran down the side of the road to the gutter and he shook his head. If he’d kept on that path, he’d be the one in the gutter, completely and utterly alone. He couldn’t allow that to happen. He didn’t want that to happen. He wanted to be healthy. The surprising thing was, as all the Jack ran down into the gutter, he did feel like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. Weird, but he felt one more step closer to his recovery.
To the man he wanted to be.
Glancing over at Elli, he smiled. “Dr. Phil may have been on to something.”
She smiled back, taking his hand in hers. “Yeah, that’s why I watch it.”
He didn’t answer or commit, only watched as the road sucked up the liquid as if it were suffering from the same thirst that Jordie was fighting to get rid of.
When her other hand clasped his, he looked over as she said, “Next Sunday, you’ll go to church with us? Then I’ll cook lunch and we’ll go out to dinner. Spend the day with us. You need a little Jesus and the Adlers in your heart.”
Jordie smiled. She was right. He did need those things. “I’ll be there.”
“Good, Jordie, I’m proud of you.”
He nodded slowly as his grin grew. It was really something to have someone like Elli Adler be proud of you, and he was grateful for that.
But now, it was time to be the man he would be proud of.
Kacey had no clue how she was going to handle the next day.
How was she supposed to train a team of guys when the guy who broke her in two would be there, along with her boyfriend and her brother? Really, that was her life? She sounded like a damn soap opera! But really, how was she supposed to keep it together when all she wanted to do was cry? How was she supposed to act like Jordie was nothing to her when he was basically everything? How was she supposed to lie and act like everything was fine to Karson and Liam but, more importantly, to herself?
Because she was not okay.
Not even in the least, but she didn’t know what to do. She’d thought when she saw him for the first time, she could handle it. But man, how wrong she was. She’d gotten diarrhea of the mouth and let him have it. At least she didn’t hit him, but no telling for the future. Once thing was for sure, she knew that she needed to steer clear of Jordie. She needed to ignore him because he was going to hurt her again if she allowed him back in, and she would if she didn’t stay away from him. But that just didn’t sit well in her heart. Her heart wanted her to rush to him, beg him to let her in, and to forgive him. Her pride though, that was what was holding her back. She just couldn’t allow him to hurt her again.
She was better than that.
And Liam was a really nice guy. No reason to ruin that for someone who had no understanding of how to love her the way Liam could. She had to stay where it was safe. No matter how much her heart yearned to go in a direction where nothing was certain, she had to be smart about this. But really, why was she even entertaining this notion? He didn’t want her. She was supposed to hate him, wish he were dead. So what was wrong with her? Was she really that big of a glutton for punishment?
It was his eyes.