Kacey shrugged her shoulders. “Yeah, but it’s good, right? Like, you don’t think we are rushing it?”
Lacey shrugged her shoulders. “Don’t ask me about rushing. I married your brother after seeing him for the first time in like nine years. Not sure I’m the right person for advice on that. I mean, some people said I was crazy,” she said with a grin. “But if it helps, I wouldn’t change a thing.”
Kacey smiled as she nodded. “It’s just been so perfect. Like we laugh constantly, and when we aren’t laughing, we are doing it, and when we aren’t doing it, he’s telling me he loves me. And God, Lacey, I waited so long to hear those words leave his mouth that I find myself absorbing them, just in case he stops telling me. It’s like I’m just waiting for the other shoe to drop, for all this good to just evaporate.”
Holding her gaze, Lacey said, “It will.”
Kacey’s mouth dropped open, shocked. “What the hell do you mean? Do you think we won’t last?”
Lacey shook her head. “No, Kace, I think y’all are solid, there is so much love between you two. But you have to remember, he is recovering. He is finding his footing in this thing called sobriety. His go-to was to drink when he was mad, hurt, or sad. Now he is having to find new outlets. But the thing is, he chose you to make this journey with him.”
“I know that,” Kacey agreed. “And I won’t let him do it alone.”
“Right, but with the good comes the bad. And while, yeah, it’s too good to be true right now, and you are living the life you want, it won’t last. He’s gonna hit a bad spell, and that’s when you need to worry. Because will you be able to be the rock he needs? Don’t look at me like that!” she shrieked then, and Kacey held her hands out.
“You’re freaking me out!” she accused, but Lacey shook her head. “I know all this, but you are making it seem like I can’t handle it, which is making me second-guess myself.”
“I’m just saying that when it’s sunny, it’s great. But it’s how you weather the storm. So enjoy the good now, because there’s no telling when the storm will come thundering through your life, and you’ll be left holding on with everything inside of you,” she said with more conviction. “You are so strong, Kacey, and Jordie knows this; he feeds off you and loves you something insane. And I know you love him, but my thing is, don’t overthink this. Enjoy it, love him, and when it gets bad, then you’ll be ready. But why wait for the possible impending doom? It won’t do anything but stress you out.”
Deadpan, she asked, “Impending doom?”
Lacey shrugged, not even smiling. “He is hard-set on not relapsing, Kacey, but do you know the statistics on that? Hardly a single alcoholic makes it through the first year without failing at least once.”
Panicking a little bit, Kacey looked wide-eyed at her. “So you think he will? Do you think I’m crazy for being with him?” she asked and, really, she wasn’t sure why she asked. It didn’t matter what Lacey thought. She wasn’t going to leave Jordie. She believed in him, loved him, and would stand beside him no matter what.
“I don’t know, and no, I don’t think you’re crazy. I know how much you care for him, how long you’ve been in love with him. I just hope and pray that he doesn’t let you down. Let all of us down. But alcoholism, it’s really a disease, such a scary sickness.”
Kacey couldn’t agree more. “He’s got this though, I know he does.”
“I hope so,” Lacey agreed. “It worries me because, if he does fail, I know what that will do to you if he doesn’t pick himself right back up. And that scares me. You’re invested to the extreme. No matter how much you try to hold that back and control it, you are, Kacey. And I really don’t want to see y’all crash and burn.”